Darkseid's Couch

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée ride a light ray all the way over to the Valiant Universe for the very first time! In X-O Manowar no. 13, the flagship hero of the fifth or sixth most popular superhero universe must team up with Solar to take down a super pissed-off batch of The Vine in order to rightfully earn the Shanhara armor! Don't know what any of that means? Dude, it doesn't ma...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée learn the true meaning of Christmas when they read the Incredible Hulk Versus Quasimodo! In 1983 somebody realized these two guys had a lot in common, namely that they're both freaks who can't seem to stop complaining about their not-so-terrible lives, and decided that was reason enough to throw them together. Bruce Banner heads to France to find a mir...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée get caught ogling 1992's Fantastic Four no. 371! Sue Storm has a smokin' new outfit for the 90s that offers dramatically reduced protection but makes up for it with trashy sex appeal. Unfortunately Mr. Fantastic isn't biting because he's an unrelatable supergenius who's evolved beyond the concept of lust. Meanwhile Johnny Storm's unsolicited advances o...

This time on the Couch: The fun is so small you'd swear it's not even there when Mike, James, and Shée read 1965's The Atom no. 16! In this novel-length adventure, kids in the 60s finally got what they were clamoring for in their comic books: A superhero who complains about being sleepy all the time and then loses a fight to an old man. While trying to get some rest on a local tree branch (sure!),...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée celebrate 70 episodes with Batman and the Punisher, the two cheeriest guys in comicdom! In Deadly Knights, it's been less than a year since the characters last crossed over, but this time it's Bruce Wayne back in the weirdly-shaped cowl instead of crazed cultist Azrael. Bruce isn't taking too kindly to a vigilante with a skull on his chest killing mook...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée finally reach their tolerance limit with 1986's Transformers no. 20! When a damaged Autobot named Skids lands in some trailer trash Wyoming nothing town, things get straight up Twin Peaks. Except instead of a murder mystery there are bizarre human/robot cucking rituals, local mechanics who clearly should be working for NASA, and insane alpha males who...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée have the power of Greyskull, and they'll need it to get through 1987's Masters of the Universe no. 9! It's tough being a weird legless elf wizard when all of your friends are super buff he-men with names like Man-at-Arms and... well, He-Man. Inadequacy finally gets the best of Orko when his girlfriend sacrifices herself to save him during one of the in...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée try to avoid using their mutant powers while reading the first installment of Havok & Wolverine's Meltdown miniseries! On bro-cation in Mexico, the two buds are having a great time challenging each other not to use their powers in their routine unprovoked brawls with innocent civilians, because that's just how mutant superfreaks get their jollies....

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée have heard your pleas and are taking yet another trip to the Continuity Comics Continuniverse! It's time to get acquainted with Continuity's crown jewel, Megalith the Ultimate Man, as he joins fellow under-aged superheroes Armor and the Silver Streak to form the Revengers for some reason! In 1988's Revengers no. 4, Megalith acquires a plot of land and...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée explore the wild world of corporate synergy with Atari Force no. 1! In 1982 DC decided to put actual talent on a video game tie-in comic that never actually mentions video games in any way. It was a bold advertising strategy, and ensured that Atari would remain on the bleeding edge of video game technology to this very day. Plus, ideas for podcasts peo...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée celebrate the Fourth of July with a special Halloween episode about everyone's favorite skull-on-fire demon guy, Ghost Rider! In issue 48, Ghost Rider's human host Johnny Blaze is attacked by vampire bats and proceeds to mercilessly sic his hellspawn alter-ego on them, begging the question: Do demons just kinda wait around until someone needs vengeance...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée dive back into the Continuity Comics Continuniverse and fish out 1992's Crazyman no. 1! That's right, Crazyman: A character so unpredictable that the fact that he never really does anything all that crazy just makes him all the crazier... or something. Anyway, Danny Brody is a man with a rare mental disorder that causes him to react to any stimuli by r...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée learn a valuable after-school lesson when they read 1983's New Mutants no. 4! Fearing that the X-Men may be too old to keep manipulating into impossibly dangerous situations for his own gain, Professor Xavier has formed a group of New Mutants who are younger, more unstable, and quite a bit dumber. It's the crowning achievement of an insane career. This...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée read the only comic book that functions as propaganda for both the military industrial complex AND out of control consumerism, G.I. Joe! In issue 47 a bunch of colorful soldiers with deeply-repressed PTSD take to the seas in an act of unprovoked aggression. Cobra may be an international squad of snake-themed super-terrorists, but at least they respect...

This time on the Couch: It's time for the sixth Batman special episode as Mike, James, and Shée read about the Dark Knight teaming up with the Punisher in 1994's Lake of Fire crossover! Oh, but it's not just any Batman: This here is Bruce's Xtreme 90s stand-in, Jean Paul Valley, aka Azrael, aka Azbats, aka Bigcape McClawfingers. Azzy and Punny are hot on the trail of Jigsaw as he's working a bizar...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée blast off into S.P.A.C.E. with the surprisingly woke adventures of green rabbit explorer Bucky O'Hare! That's right; For once the anti-consumerism rantings of the show are actually completely intentional and not just the errant spurts of one of Mike's Bernie Sanders wet dreams. In issue 3 of the original graphic novel's reissue, Bucky recruits a helple...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée learn all about the Creeper with 1975's The Joker no. 3! Shortly after the Joker was allowed to return to his murderous roots he got his own short-lived solo series... where he didn't murder anyone. Instead, the Creeper is framed for Joker's crimes on the basis that the two kinda sorta seem like one another as long as you're colorblind and aren't aware...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée prove that research is for suckers when they read 1986's Kickers, Inc. no. 7 live while recording! For the first time, the gang goes into a book totally blind, with no knowledge of what to expect beyond the cover and the concept. That concept? The fictional NY Smashers football team is moonlighting as vigilante crimefighters, because apparently both of...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée put on their finest long-sleeved polos to read 1975's Phoenix no. 1! In the 1970s, Marvel Comics founder Martin Goodman decided to start up a new comics company, but this time populate it with boring, generic nobodies to see if that would work. The old Goodman Charm couldn't keep Atlas/Seaboard Comics afloat and it folded in about a year. What went wro...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée try to untangle the mysteries of the world's most pliable superhero when they read 1968's Plastic Man no. 10! When sidekick Gordy gets a transfusion of Plas' weird freak blood he becomes a copycat superhero, only to discover that helping people has more to do with not being a moron than it does with having actual superpowers. Then the Dollmaker shows u...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée take a trip to the center of the world or whatever with The Warlord no. 1! By 1976 we were mostly sure the Earth wasn't shaped like a bowl, but that didn't stop Mike Grell from putting Green Arrow's stunt double into some kind of leather evening gown and sending him out to defend the secret world beneath our feet as the Warlord! In his solo debut, the...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée finish up their deep dive into the Spider-Clone saga with 1995's Amazing Spider-Man no. 400! Spider-Poseur Ben Reilly swings by the Parker household to remind Peter that he's only gonna visit him another three or four times and then he's totally leaving and never coming back, and everyone's gonna be super sad and miss him, for real this time. Then Aunt...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée revisit the Spider-Clone saga with 1975's Amazing Spider-Man no. 149! The Jackal's war with ol' Webpits finally reaches its conclusion when the villain unleashes his secret weapon: A clone of Spider-Man's hot dead girlfriend! Oh, and also a clone of Spider-Man himself, who is summarily forgotten about pretty much instantly. And just for good measure, t...

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée go on meme patrol as they investigate Action Comics no. 457, which is absolutely not about child molestation, so you can all stop posting that cover now. Instead be offended by the story within, where Superman must reveal his identity to a dying kid and the little turd won't believe him despite it being really obvious that he's Clark Kent. Meanwhile ba...

This time on the Couch: Darkseid's Couch reaches its landmark 50th episode, making it the internet's longest-running podcast (citation needed)! Mike, James, and Shée celebrate by finally remembering to explain the name of the podcast and then reading issue 5 of the forgotten 1986 Super Powers miniseries! The closest Jack Kirby ever came to drawing the Justice League is a toy line tie-in featuring...