Dad Starting Over

Ralph addresses a deeply personal letter from a listener named Jay, who is grappling with significant intimacy issues in his ten-year marriage. The common theme throughout this episode revolves around navigating the intricate web of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and its implications on marital intimacy, emotional disconnect, and the potential for infidelity. Jay's story revolves around his w...

Confused Husband seeks advice from Ralph on handling a toxic marriage where his wife despises his daughter and exhibits abusive behavior. He reveals deep-seated issues including threats, accusations of infidelity, and financial concerns tied to potential divorce. Ralph provides critical advice, highlighting the importance of cutting ties with the abusive spouse, seeking legal and emotional support...

Ralph addresses John’s heart-wrenching predicament: his wife’s affair led to their separation, and now she wants to come back. Ralph sheds light on different types of affairs, emphasizing the deeply ingrained issues often underlying such actions. He suggests that John’s wife may be seeking a safety net rather than genuine reconciliation. Join the HFM Brotherhood!

A 50-year-old man, Mister In Between, seeks advice from Ralph on rebuilding his life post-divorce. Diagnosed with depression and mild bipolar disorder, he grapples with isolation, a dead bedroom from a 28-year marriage, and navigating new social dynamics. Ralph discusses the risks and benefits of casual sexual encounters and the potential pitfalls of rebound relationships. He emphasizes the import...

Ralph tackles a heartfelt query from a listener named "Help," who is grappling with the challenges posed by his wife's debilitating condition, POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome). The listener's frustration over a sexless marriage, compounded by the daily struggles of managing a child with autism, paints a vivid picture of marital strain and the desperate need for guidance. Join the H...

Ralph addresses a poignant message from Lana, a 42-year-old woman facing a significant marital dilemma. Despite being attractive, fit, and highly sexual, Lana struggles with her husband's distant and emotionally abusive behavior. Over their 25 years of marriage, Lana has grown weary of her husband's lack of affection and wonders if the time has come to leave and seek a fulfilling life elsewhere. T...

Ralph addresses Adnor's dilemma about seeking counseling for relationship issues without making it feel like an ultimatum. Drawing from real-life examples, Ralph emphasizes the importance of genuine effort and patience in resolving relationship problems. He discusses the complexities of seeking couples counseling and the necessity of finding a competent counselor who can mediate effectively. Ralph...

Can a couple's sex life be sustainable over a the life of strict long-term monogamy? In this episode, Ralph explores the challenges of maintaining a fulfilling sex life as a couple ages. From the honeymoon phase to dealing with disease and aging, he delves into the concept of serial monogamy and why it may be a more realistic solution for many. He also discusses the role of genetics and societal c...

A follower on Facebook reached out to me with his point of view about getting in shape. In his mind, it is NOT a good idea! His wife, after all, feels insecure about how he looks, and it has proven to be a negative influence on the relationship. Join our private group, the HFM Brotherhood!

In this episode, Ralph responds to a question from a listener named Candice about the modern dating scene, which veers dramatically from what many parents recall from their youth. Ralph shares a vivid account of his recent experience at his 20-year-old daughter's university homecoming event. What he observes is a stark contrast between hyper-sexualized young women and noticeably underdressed young...

Sexual desire within monogamous relationships has long been a highly nuanced and widely debated subject. A myriad of psychological and anthropological perspectives suggest a noticeable shift in women's libido after entering into sustained, monogamous partnerships. In discussing this intimate terrain, insights from esteemed voices such as Esther Perel and Wednesday Martin provide angles that challe...

Harry asks his wife to return to work post-pregnancy, which results in her filing for divorce. Their marriage struggles due to frequent disputes, troublesome family members, and strong feelings. Ralph examines the couple's dynamics, highlighting persistent problems and Harry’s desire for more kids. He recommends that Harry should focus on the well-being of their children and engage in self-reflect...

"Mister Niceguy No More" has written to Ralph about difficulties in his eleven-year marriage, describing his wife's distant and transactional approach to their sex life. This has caused him frustration and feelings of isolation. Ralph examines possible causes such as mental and hormonal health issues and suggests that proactive actions should be taken. Emphasizing the need for personal well-being...

A reader reaches out to share his stress over being a new father and being tempted to almost cheat on his spouse...  What does this mean for him and his marriage?

A reader has a great deal of resentment towards his spouse of 13-15 years of a dead bedroom marriage... but he's recently been diagnosed with cancer. Should he tell his wife? In the past, she has displayed some narcissistic tendencies, and tends to make all problems about herself.

We are proud to introduce our new brand: Help For Men! You can learn more at helpformen.com . The DSO Fraternity, our private group for men only, will now be known as The HFM Brotherhood . WE are looking forward to reach a wider audience and helping more men from around the world!

Dr. Psych Mom and Ralph answer a question from a follower: How often should the responsive desire partner actually initiate sex?

In this episode, Ralph addresses a listener's question about whether subscribing to OnlyFans is considered cheating. Ralph emphasizes that it's not about his opinion, but rather what the listener and his spouse think. He advises open communication and setting boundaries. Ralph also cautions against engaging in desperate behavior and encourages self-reflection. Listeners are reminded to respect the...

In this episode of Dear DSO, Jimmy from Scotland seeks advice on whether he should help his ex-wife with her mental health diagnosis. While he's hesitant due to painful memories and the fact that her mental health issues contributed to their divorce, DSO encourages him to consider the well-being of their children. By filling out the forms and providing valuable information, Jimmy could potentially...

In this episode, Dr. Psych Mom and DSO discuss the psychology behind pressuring a spouse about a dead bedroom versus ignoring the issue. They explore the challenges faced by anxious men in relationships and the importance of open communication. They also address the misconception that everything else in a marriage can be perfect except for the lack of sex. With insights into attachment styles and...

Luke writes in to ask how to overcome feelings of abandonment from his ex-wife. He feels stuck, resentful, and alone after building his life around her. DSO empathizes with Luke's situation but encourages him to take control of his life and see this as an opportunity for growth. He suggests finding new ways to make money, embracing the freedom to pursue personal interests, and seeking support from...

DSO addresses a listener's struggle with a low-sex relationship. DSO explains the dynamics of anxious and avoidant attachment styles and offers insights into the complexities of these situations. He suggests reading his book, "The Dead Bedroom Fix," and seeking medical advice for erectile dysfunction. DSO emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and personal growth before blaming the partner....

Vanessa has been engaged for seven years but can't seem to get her partner to commit to marriage. Despite being together for 18 years and having two children, her partner is hesitant to tie the knot. Vanessa is starting to feel resentment and wants to know how to stop it from building further. DSo suggests asking her partner what specifically scares him about marriage and why it's so important to...