Crooked Butterfly Podcast

On a physical sense this is pretty obvious. The expenditure to catch back up to something after you've fallen behind is greater than it would have been to just put the little extra effort in to keeping up in the first place. This is only then exacerbated by age, time, increased life demands or responsibilities... The parallel into the psychological sense is pretty tight. Once we start falling...

We start out with a discussion on a recent IG post I hung about Consistency. How only a small slice of the concept, the paradigm slice maybe, is precise routine. If this is the only appreciation we have for the concept we likely fail and get disappointed, thrown off track, and require large amounts of inertia to regain momentum. But consistency is relative on a slider from a macro to micro scale....

I find myself, at times, going down a path of reacting on assumptions or passing judgment that I'm not particularly proud of. Not that it isn't natural or normal, to a degree, but that I don't want it to digress any further than a simple reaction or initial starting point to confirm or deny. Ideally, working me back away from being 'ugly'. When I land navigate and find mys...

It's been constantly coming up for me lately to question why. Why am I working so hard to be self aware, to have a consciousness, to strive to be good, better. It seems like everywhere you look there are people taking short cuts, taking the road less high, leaving little room for the consideration of others, etc... and they seem to get further, farther, faster just fine. I'm not sure I h...

It started out as a strategy for a few different purposes somewhere in my career. It was a way to identify people who didn't respect you, were full of shit, or would take advantage of you. It was a chess move of sorts to unfold as an ambush down the road. Or, it was also a way of not being received as the no-it-all or be that annoying person who was always one upping. Somewhere it habituated...

This is just another way of saying don't be an emotional based decision maker, don't be impulsive, or think about what you are doing / not doing. For me, phrasing it this way simply invites engaging about what it means to not allow a transitory feeling or emotion to rule on my actions. I start to introduce the power of feedback mechanisms and discipline. When we give in to mood we have a...

After getting fired up by a comment and response thread on the IG this week, I spent a few days engaged with frustration, grumpiness, and thoughts regarding the relationship / indicators of inexperience w/ opinion & ignorance w/ the loud voice. Ultimately it came full circle on a reflection of myself and resisting to pass judgment or make assumptions. The timeliness of a thing I saw "Carr...

I recently returned from participating in the GodZone Adventure Race in South New Zealand and wanted to share a couple of pull outs from the experience. These ultra endurance tests inevitably provide tiny (sometimes not so tiny) snapshots of character that I'm fascinated with. While I'm not always proud of some of these selfies, I get a glimpse of myself and they provide incredible oppor...

As this episode publishes I am finishing up (if all went well) and traveling home from GodZone in New Zealand. This episode starts out discussing After Action Reports and meanders through Iterative Learning, Shared Common Experiences, Meaning Making, Reframing and Opportunities for Growth. I'd love to dissect these all a little more in future recordings and looking forward to feedback if anyt...

I'm pre-recording and cutting in a conversation I shared with Jon Kinnick & Moe Naqvi from CrossFit Beyond the WhiteBoard about some struggles and failures I've had during a handful of events. It seemed fitting as when this episode releases I'll be 3+ days into GodZone, a 600km Adventure Race in New Zealand.

Here is the second half of last week's recording. This section begins to open into the transition to where I'm growing in outlook and approach at addressing things I've stashed away and bunkered in. Ultimately, I think it's been a progression from hiding & ignoring, to protecting, through acknowledging then managing, and ideally now reckoning & growth.   ... I'm no...

I've been working for the last few years at pulling out "The Box" of experiences I wasn't ready to process; for various different reasons. I don't know if it was a healthy thing to do, or constructive, or responsible, or whatever in how I chose to compartmentalize and bury it deep. I do know that it had its benefits and also drawbacks, not only for myself but for the examp...

I protect certain words of my vocabulary in order to preserve the power and value of that word.  I've never truly suffered. I've faced some serious adversity, experienced pain, and have been in absolutely punishing environments, but I've never truly suffered. I don't like to associate anything that I chose to do as a process to experience suffering. To me, it takes away my resp...

I received a DM from gym_stu79 this week that took me off guard. Not because it was an off-putting query but more because I needed time to really dig in and think about it. I didn't want to answer in text so decided to take some time to reflect and now share. What kind of Leader was I? As I fumble through various categorizations and walk through the timeline of the beginning of my career unti...

I'm taking a stance on this one and trying not to come off as righteous or on some high finger pointing platform. I'm also not saying I'm perfect or don't fail at times. But I am saying it's all the same and it's all Stealing. Stealing the truth, stealing opportunity, and just downright stealing. Where have we started to draw the line at almost tolerating cheats and a...

I got triggered late last week to look at my own opinion of myself as I was tempted to respond to a few questions generally about self-promotion. I remember the gist of a phrase about letting others speak your worth is worth ten times you speaking your own. I decided to not go to adamantly down that path and ended up rambling about a research article I  was presented on ignorance and self assessme...

I've spent a lot of time thinking about Followership and can't help but to dislike the term. Spell check even says it isn't a word. I'm not a fan of the Leading & Following dichotomy. To follow suggests passivity and an absence of responsibility. And if it doesn't suggest it, I can't help but to feel soft when I take on the receipt of "follower". I'...

What started out as a conversation about a 7 day no calorie eating challenge ended up identifying a process to resilience, grit, mental toughness, ... ... whatever you want to call it. 

Spent an amazing last week+ digging into great things and it put me in a wonderful hole of introspection regarding forgiveness. Decided to try to talk it through what's in my head out loud to see if I could make any greater connections with it. I'm trying to not let things; especially simple things, bring me to increasingly agitated states and responses so quickly. I think there is a sel...

Talk about a few little simple things that I habituate myself doing that carries forward to much bigger things. From "leaving it better than I found it" to the simple courtesies of please, thank you & you're welcome, and small acts that default to thinking of others first I'm grabbing back onto a few habits I somehow lost over the recent past. 

Lately I've found myself increasingly sensitive to taking things personal. I think there's a handful of things going on as I deconstruct this and one area I think that's contributing to it is selfishness. I quickly touch on building a personal trigger and mechanism to autocorrect other potential areas that I am being less than the best I desire of myself. 

In this opening episode I just ramble a bit, touch-stoning on a few concepts and beliefs I try to hold on to, as I examine inconsistencies in my life. Specifically, on why it's taken so much to simply get started with recording a personal journal of sorts. I casually drift through fighting perfection, humility leading through hesitation into self-doubt and depreciation, and constructing a pur...