Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't

*Rants about the fire-dependent sand scrub of Central Florida, some of the rarest, most unique and underappreciated plants of the world. The plant community here occurs in nutrient-poor, fire dependent sands that were the beachfront 2 million years ago. These plants evolved in a region that gets upwards of 60 in of rain of year but has a pronounced dry season between November and May.  Even more a...

A live show originally recorded at The Hideout in Chicago on September 13th 2025. First 4 minutes got cut off accidentally by the sound guy, who otherwise did a great job (the sd card f*cked up, it wasn't his fault). On that note, I mistakenly refer to  Artemisia ludoviciana when I meant  Artemisia   vulgaris.  full episodes of this podcast are available ad free on the Patreon at https://www.patre...

Rants about KILL YOUR LAWN tour in the Midwest, River Geography, Hemp Farms in Wisconsin, Prairies, Bison, upset affluent suburban ladies in St Paul, horticultural atrocities, Lincoln vs Omaha Nebraska, Feral Paht and more. Thanks to the all the venues that put us up and thanks to everyone who came out for the shows/presentations in Milwaukee, St Paul, Omaha, Lincoln, Kansas City, Omaha, Lincoln a...

Ad-Free episodes of the podcast are available on the Patreon at www.patreon/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

Why is there such a strong correlation between invasion biology denial, anthropocentrism, ecological illiteracy and permaculture? How can permaculture move forward while at the same time acknowledging the functionality of native plant ecosystems and why the designation of "native" is not some frivolous, arbitrary, or puritanical designation? In this 40 minute conversation between myself and Lilly...

In this episode (after a 30 minute societal rant) we talk about Dioon edule and cycads of the foothills of the Sierra Madre, why hemiparasitic members of the paintbrush family frequently have red leaves, Mexican Oak Diversity, Tillandsia usneoides in Oak woodlands,  Calochortus marcellae, Malacomeles denticulata ecotypes, why  Crotalus morulus ( Tamaulipan Rock Rattlesnake) possibly one of the coo...

This episode is a conversation with Adam Haritan from the youtube channel  Learn Your Land , which covres a diverse variety of topics related to the ecology of Eastern North American Forests - Fungi, Plants, Insects, & more. In this episode we talk about how fire suppression has caused an explosion in tick populations, along with a multitude of other factors. We also discuss medicinal mushroom...

Ad-Free episodes of the CPBBD podcast are available on the patreon at  https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt Today's episode consists of rants about compensation point, idiotic spelling mistakes, C3 and C4 photosynthesis, why nighttime temperatures prevent growing some plants in some areas, public land grab in Florida by sleazebag developers embedded in state government, Kill Your Lawn...

Rants about Green Tea, Lactose Intolerance, mycoheterotrophic plants in New Mexico, Colorado Springs Shale Exposures, Native Plant Takeovers of municipal landscaping greenhouses, Rock Sage, 300 million year old limestone, and more. Ad-Free Episodes of the podcast are available for 5 bucks a month on the patreon at https://www.patreon.com/c/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt To pre-order the book Concrete Bo...

Disjointed Rants about New Mexico's Sacramento Mountains, Mormons, the origins of Ivermectin, Rat-Trap Pitcher plants and Nepenthes hybrids, and more. All episodes of the Crime Pays podcast are available ad-free on the crime pays patreon at :  https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt For merch, bonfire store is at :  https://www.bonfire.com/store/crime-pays-but-botany-doesnt/

In this episode we rant about Neotropical High-elevation Oak forests of Central America, what the hell introgression is (swapping genes between two species through hybridization and back-crossing to potentially create a new species, though sometimes it just introduces adaptive traits into existing species), the checking of a racist Becky into a bush by a fed-up member of the populace, the neotropi...

Rants about Davis Mountains fungi, Ponderosa Pine Death from drought, torrential Texas rains, West Texas alcoholics, Mandevilla hypoleuca, Echeveria strictiflora, Growing Madrones, American Smoke Trees in Austin, Madrones in San Antonio, Dystopia and more....

Rants about Northern New Mexico, Gypsum endemics, Dwarf Milkweed, the Horseshoe Bend Motel Photo, Botany of Horseshoe Bend, Pediocactus in the high desert of Northern Arizona, Why telling people that eating Saguaro fruits isn't as bad as Caucasian liberals might want you to think is, How anthropocentric uses of plants might hook some people into the larger perspective of botany and ecology and rev...

Rants about colonoscopies, plant life on the sandhills East of Carlsbad New Mexico, Eurytaenia hinckleyi (Apiaceae ), Pomaria jamesii (Fabaceae), the Sierra Madre and more Ad-Free episodes of the podcast are available on the Patreon for $5 a month at https://www.patreon.com/c/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt

Rants about permaculture, holistic livestock snake oil, Southern New Mexico gypsum flats, the Guadalupe Mountains, the Schizandra population in Atlanta that's being overtaken by english ivy, the Alex Jones with boobs meme, naked old men at Nevada hot springs, and more. All episodes of this podcast are available for $5 a month ad-free on the crime pays patreon stop whining about the ads you jadrool...

Ad-Free versions of this podcast are available for $5 a month on the Crime Pays Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/c/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt In this episode we talk with Makenzie Mabry, PhD, about the order Brassicales and all the cool and bizarre plants and plant families within it. We talk about the trend of polyploidy, whole genome duplication, the affinity for deserts and arid habitats, the e...

In this episode we talk about the granite/gneiss knobs that surround the Atlanta, Georgia area and the cool plants that grow there, getting unintentionally shot at by morons at Arabia mountain, exploring limestone glades of Alabama with Kyle Lybarger, how much puke would it take to reach the confederate statue on the side of Stone Mountain if one were puking down from above, how important fire is...

A 2 hour, unhinged livestream rant about ecological succession in lawn slaughter, book reviews, the deranged texas anti-plant bill (SB 1868), and more, all done while wearing a priest outfit. 

Episodes of the Crime Pays podcast are available Ad-Free on the Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't Patreon at: www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt In this episode of the podcast we rant about a myriad of topics and also discuss 4 main habitat types of Costa Rica :  Lowland dry forest, where you can get pissed on by spider monkeys and capuchins while photographing columnar cacti growing on karstic...

Rants about Mosquito Traps, Burrowing "toads" (Rhinophrynus dorsalis), Texas botanists' resistance to using scientific names, replacing windas, a new species of succulent bamboo from Laos, and more  I recommend the hell outta the Biogents Mosquito Trap, which is a pleasant way to reduce mosquito populations in your area using a compound that mimics the smell of human sweat, attracting mosquitos, t...

Dr. Michael Powell is the curator of the Sul Ross Herbarium in Alpine, Texas and a proverbial wizard of West Texas Botany and Plants of the Trans-Pecos. In this episode we discuss  how the endangered species act influenced the wariness of Texas ranchers and land owners, the current drought that Texas is in, describing new species of plants, the rock-daisies and cliff-dwellers of the  Perityle clad...

Deb Manley is a naturalist and long-distance hiker who in March 2024 discovered a plant species that was entirely new to science:  Ovicula biradiata (Sunflower Family - Asteraceae). In this episode of Crime Pays we talk about the discovery, the unique flora of the Big Bend region, limestone deserts, the phenomenon of Sky Islands and more. Episodes of the  Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't  podcast are...

Episodes of this podcast are available Ad-Free on the Patreon at : www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt Dr. Lynn Clark studies neotropical bamboos - bamboos from the Americas - specifically the genus Chusquea , which is highly diverse in Central & South America, from the Pine-Oak Forests of Western Mexico all the way down to the temperate rainforests of Southern Chile. In this episode we t...

Bruce Shoemaker is a researcher on natural resource conflicts and author of the book "Dead in the Water", about hydropower projects and extractive predatory capitalism in Southeast Asia. In this podcast we talk about turning monoculturres of pine plantations back into biodiverse forest in Northern California, the importance of fire in Northern California forests, as well as the completely disparat...

In this episode we talk about why the word "nature" sucks; how to use the living world to avoid focusing on doom and idiocracy; why aimlessly walking along power line easements, irrigation ditches and railroad tracks in order to look at "weeds" is good for your health; an Australian orchid ( Rhizanthella gardneri)  that doesn't photosynthesize and blooms underground, a Vanilla species ( Vanilla ba...