Crime Drama Queens

Send us Fan Mail Trigger warning - there is a LOT of talk of sexual assault in this episode as it is the main theme of the program we are discussing. If you'd rather give this one a swerve, we completely understand and we'll see you again next time.  Brighton, 2012: Lots of women are attacked in Brighton by a man in a rubber suit, wielding a sex toy.  Brighton, 2023: The rubber suit man...

Send us Fan Mail Two middle aged women talk about what they're watching on TV and forget a lot of people's names.  Our next full length episode will be on on 13th June 2025 and will be on "Grace" season three, episode one, "Dead Like You." It's as sinister as it sounds.  Original artwork by Mike Luckie instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/ Music: Mystery Box by V...

Send us Fan Mail Another pheasant shoot, another dead (human) body. Get new interests, people! These shoots aren't safe! This is especially true for the high ranking hobbyists of Westershire police force, ACC Fisher, and Inspector Henry Crabb.  Henry is a chef and a policeman, because why not? He's also not great with cash and manages to lose a wad of it in the opening scenes. Because of...

Send us Fan Mail At last! The long awaited Ellis! Channel Five have come good with this one (adverts notwithstanding) as Ellis is not half bad. Sharon D. Clarke is pretty fab, if a bit brooding, in the title role, and the story holds together so long as you don't think about it too much, which, of course, we do. There are citizen journalists, the most annoying woman in the world, a kid with a...

Send us Fan Mail Hey crime drama lovers, Sorry about the lack of a proper episode this week - Lex has been facing challenges at work that even a team including Jane Tennison, Endeavour Morse, Sherlock Holmes, and Jackson Brodie would struggle to overcome. We will get "Ellis" out to you next week!  In the meantime, here is Lily rambling on for five minutes.  Our next episode will be on &q...

Send us Fan Mail Welcome to our first episode recorded face to face, in the same room rather than hundreds of miles apart! We had a WONDERFUL time, although the benefit to you is nil. The sound quality is patchy (we had tried for a studio but it was Good Friday and weverything was closed) as we were in Lily's airbnb room, and we are horribly hungover as we had been out celebrating Lex's...

Send us Fan Mail First off, let us apologise for the amount we talk about the weather and various weather apps at the beginning. It's almost like we didn't want to talk about Rosemary and Thyme. Almost.  But we do get into it, and what towering achievment of television it isn't. There are two people shot dead, some extortion, terrible wallpapering, a menace on wheels, our heros merr...

Send us Fan Mail It's another Agatha Christie! Drink every time Lily says "I know we're not talking about the book, but..."  Actually, don't, that would be dangerous. Protect the NHS. We had some dramas while recording this episode as a plusnet engineer started drilling into Lily's house, and then the internet cut out so she had to drive across town to keep recording...

Send us Fan Mail Enter stage left: A tall, pale, man in a deerstalker. Spry, and somewhat unnerving, Jeremy Brett is to some people (Lily), but not others (Lex), the definitive Sherlock Holmes. It's not an absolute belter of a episode though as an intervention by a couples therapist would have perhaps been more suitable to the problem at hand.  Lex bemoans the lack of brouhaha, but at least w...

Send us Fan Mail Kenneth Branagh shines in this anglicised version of the skandi noir classic, Wallander. However, it's not that hard to shine when everything around you is so incredibly bleak. Having said that, there are lots of bodies, and one of them is even heavily charred , while the others are axed and scalped, so plenty to enjoy on that front. We we also have dodgy eye shadow (sorry, L...

Send us Fan Mail Silly hats, squabbling academics, tudor costumes, death by antique sword...what can we say? Just the usual antics in the world of crime drama. We've seen all these things before but this time we are in the world of Father Brown. It's not the greatest introduction to the world of G.K. Chesterton's crime solving priest, but if you are into secret codes and battle rein...

Send us Fan Mail York, present day: A woman is found dead inside a dinosaur exhibit. Not inside the exhibit , you understand.  Not wodged in with the dinosaurs. Only a total fool would think that. And she drowned.... OR DID SHE? Well, Patience, our eagle eyed investigative consultant, knows that she did. And Patience leads our professional detectives gently through the clues of dino bones, dodgy t...

Send us Fan Mail A woman has been clubbed in the head with a toffee hammer, but it's ok, as she was "clubbable," and probably deserved it. Oh, and the clowns in Brussels have got rid of toffee hammers so maybe she was shot instead. Confused? Welcome to the world of Detective Superintendent Andy Dalziel! He's assisted by Detective Sergeant Peter Pascoe, who has the audacity to b...

Send us Fan Mail Hello all, here we are again. Quick update to let you know we're binning off Father Brown as the episode we were going to talk about is no longer avilable on "U" and we can't find it anywhere else. After all that fuss about finding the app and stuff. Tsk. Anyway, we've decided to do something else.  The something else: "Dalziel and Pascoe," seaso...

Send us Fan Mail There's no full length episode this week because Christmas and New Year threw us off our stride. Come on now, take a deep breath and wipe your tears - we'll get one to you soon. In this little minisode Lily tries to do a short review of the crime dramas and murder mysteries on offer this Christmas, but without Lex to gently rein her in, gets slightly distracted. Happy Ne...

Send us Fan Mail It's CHRIIIISTMAS! And the village of Codswallop Shallows (or similar) is celebrating by hosting lots of ghost hunts, just as Jesus would have wanted.  There are only two bodies in this one, so it's not an all time classic, but we do have Mark Heap in a mustard jumper, Les Dennis in a variety of outfits, and a steely eyed man in a barbour jacket who doesn't know wha...

Send us Fan Mail You know the drill, a Met Police officer has left London and is solving crimes in someone else's backyard. This time the dectective in question is returning to her own backyard - Dolphin Cove, which is just down the coast from Summer Bay, Australia. We discuss Neighbours, Home and Away, Enid Blyton, Mein Kampf, and even, occasionally, the programme in question. But whether yo...

Send us Fan Mail *This is the second of a two parter on Silent Witness so you may want to listen to part one  (ep 31 on Silent Witness season 4, eps and 6) if you want to get the references. But we're not the boss of you so do as you like.* We're back! And this time with Dr Nikki Alexander and lots of dead crows. Hardly anyone is "well nourished," and nobody is "heavily ch...

Send us Fan Mail Its the first in our two part Silent Witness Extravaganza and we couldn't be more excited! Or we were, until we watched this. We are not the biggest fans of Professor Sam Ryan. Sorry, Sam, but you are a sanctimonious bore. And you use the phrase "making love," which has not been good for our digestive health.  Someone gets almost beaten to death, someone gets electr...

Send us Fan Mail A monk gets bled, has a hallucination, gets fed opium, and the upshot is that there is a murder that Cadfael has to solve, in three days or less. The twelfth century is tough enough without all the slings, arrows, and outrageous hair extensions, but Derek Jacobi and his tonsure are here to save the day. This one wasn't Lex's fave (despite the presence of the Demon Headma...

Send us Fan Mail We haven't LOVED the newer shows we've covered so far, but that changes here and now because we loved Ludwig. In fact, the only thing that could have made it better would be David Mitchell crooning at the end of each episode. However, we will do without that, and instead indulge in problem solving (spot the difference), person case hunting, teambuilding exercises, and Le...

Send us Fan Mail It's our one year anniversary! Whoop whoop! And to celebrate, Lex has covid. But like a hero, like an avenging angel, she comes through for us and we battle through this delightful, cheesy , nonsense. See what I did there? We have garroting, stabbing, death by cow, and of course, Martine and that truckle of cheese. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with us this first year,...

Send us Fan Mail Caution - a dog gets murdered in this episode of Luther.  And  people are murdered too of course, but that goes without saying.  Discussions include Luther's questionable processes (#notallMETpolice), whether a woman who pouts is more fascinating that a woman who doesn't, and the impact that Danny DeVito's presence would have had over the whole affair. In fact, we d...

Send us Fan Mail Ok, we didn't love this one, but we did find a reason to be optimistic. Was it the plot? The scripts? The acting? Shayne Ward's linen wardrobe? No. None of those. But even in the darkest of times, we found one thing to love. Have a listen to find out what it was. At time of recording, The Good Ship Murder was available to watch in the UK on My5, in the US on Prime Video...

Send us Fan Mail "Can it be? ...it's my own particular one and only four starred pussy. The super pussy of all old pussies..."* IT'S MISS MARPLE! And it's Jane Marple in midsomer land with a high body count and bonkers deaths. We LOVED this and quite frankly, we don't care if you didn't. It's even got Matt from Busted in it. Apols for the cameos by Lex'...