Crap Movie Club

We bring the year to a close by reviewing New Years Eve, in which an ensemble A list cast tell us how to think and feel by pulling on our emotional heartstrings.  Tom is back as special guest and thinks the most unbelieve part of this movie is the fact that someone gave away money from the goodness of their heart. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth

We get festive and laugh our way through Jingle All The Way.  This legendary Christmas film stars peak Arnie, as he launches a desperate bid to find the hottest toy and save Christmas from an evil postman.  Merry Christmas to everyone, from Crap Movie Club xxx https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth

Lauren's back and that can mean only one thing - The Kissing Booth 2.  Listen as we juggle the highest number of subplots ever seen on film and get caught back up in the crazy life of Elle Evans. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth

The Crap Movie Club assemble to celebrate one year of the show!  In this special episode Jordan plays host and movie exec as Max, Tim, Lauren and Tom pitch their sequel ideas for the Truman Show and attempt to win the favour of our new overlord and his chaotic scoring system. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth

We get back to our roots and review a terrible dragon-based film in the form of Dragonheart (1996).  Sean Connery voices a cgi dragon in this lightweight fantasy romp; Jordan nails the impression time and time again.     https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth

 We review Bloodshot.  It's got Vin Diesel in it so you know what to expect. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth

Spoiler alert: The monk isn't really bullet proof.  Not in the traditional sense anyway and that's not all that's amiss in this 2003 romp starring Sean William Scott as himself and Chow Yun-fat as also himself.   https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth

Halloween (2018) is a slasher film where every single bit-part character gets an elaborate backstory so that when they die at the hands of Michael Myers you don't know whether to feel sad, scared or entertained.  Crap Movie Club is a podcast where we create episodes so aimless that you also don't know whether to feel sad, scared or entertained.  https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ I...

Our childhoods are in tatters as we discuss Bob Hoskins drunkenly stumbling from scene to scene and the abomination that is Yoshi in this 1993 reimagining of everyone's favourite Plumber.  "This is the worst film we've ever done". https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth

Love is in the air as we review Netflix's 'The Kissing Booth' with familiar faces Max, Tim and Jordan, plus special guest Lauren.   https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth

The best portrayal of Venom on the big screen was obviously Topher Grace in Spiderman 3, but we've had to settle for second best as we review 2018's Venom starring Tom Hardy.  It's a simple movie and we have simple minds so this is a really great fit, with Max only getting slightly confused at the plot, Tim only having to recall a few niche films/actors and Jordan only having to do...

This is hands down the most X-rated movie we have talked about on Crap Movie Club (even more X-rated than Jason X!).  Between Worlds is a movie where Nic Cage explores his sexual fantasy of retrieving his dead wife's soul from the afterlife and having sex with it.  Try not to throw up. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth

We're excited for Zack Snyder's cut of the Justice League and to keep ourselves busy, we've had a go at planning our own 'Snyder cuts' for three poor performing movies.  Max fixes Pirates of the Caribbean 5, Tom spruces up Tiptoes and Jordan has grand designs for Spiderman 3.  

Deep Blue Sea is the quintessential shark movie and there is no debate about it.  Just like how Crap Movie Club is the quintessential movie podcast and the kid from Indiana Jones is the quintessential sidekick. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth

Everything is better when it has an "X" in the name and Jason X is no different.  With this 2002 entry featuring a trip forwards in time, a cyborg programmed for sex and countless horny teens to murder, Jason Voorhees has found himself in a literal paradise - now you can experience a literal hell by listening to us try to form a coherent review. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ I...

"This film is worse than CATS" - Jordan https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth

In the 80s, McDonald's funded an E.T knock-off and Mac & Me is the result.  We watched this so you don't have to.  Listen as Max get's confused and thinks that it would be appropriate to swap in a jockey, for any stunts involving an actor in a wheelchair. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth

We're back and ranking our favourite movie sidekicks, in a bid to find one sidekick to rule them all!  Tim's still playing to win and will stop at nothing to see his picks make it to the tippety top - but do Max and Jordan have what it takes to stop him? https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth

Riki-Oh is a film about one man's journey for revenge and freedom.  It contains a climax scene where a guy is fed into a giant meat-grinder and if you do anything today, go check that out on youtube. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth

The awesomeness of the G.I. Joe franchise is wasted on us as we review the second movie in this adrenaline-pumping series and get super confused about the Joe's recruitment processes.  If you don't listen to the full 89 minutes then you clearly wouldn't have what it takes to join such an elite fighting force.  Max is super proud with his pitch for G.I. Juniors: The Next Generation....

The streets of Gotham stink of crime and there are only 3 amateur podcasters capable of cleaning up the filth.  Max, Jordan and Tim review 1997's Batman & Robin - a movie with arguably the most erect nipples ever caught on camera.   https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth

Things get serious as we rank and assess a slew of movie-based meanies and try to draft our top team of movie henchmen.  Tim takes things very seriously as Jordan opts for a different strategy - controlling the scoring system to ensure his picks make it to the top! https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth

We get spooky and review 'Unfriended' - a horror movie which takes place entirely on webcams.  Be thankful you are listening to an audio version because what we saw in chatroullete in the intro is not for the feint of heart. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth

We welcome Tom to the show as he helps us talk through A Knight's Tale which is "the best sports movie ever made".  We learn the definition of the word "anachronism" and enjoy riffing on all of the 4 montages which they crammed in here!  https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth

Jordan acts a sublime host while we discuss Movies based on Video Games.  What's worked?  What hasn't worked?  Which games are crying out to be put on the big screen?  All the important questions are answered as the Gamers rise up!  https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth