Cowpunchers!

Once Upon a Time in the West directed by Sergio Leone and starring Charles Bronson, Henry Fonda, and Claudia Cardinale. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers make the determination that they'd be terrible 19th Century Robber Barons. Amy asks for "The Jug." Mel loved Claudia Cardinale's performance; hated her wardrobe. Whenever Stu gets thirsty, he asks for a cool, refreshing sip of Hat Water.

Horizon: An American Saga - Chapter 1 directed by Kevin Costner and starring Kevin Costner, Sienna Miller and Sam Worthington. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers admit that none of them have what it takes to make it out West. Despite Mel's affection for the UK, she is reminded of why we threw the tea into the harbor. Stu is excited to see the accurate historical portrayal of a huxter. Despite her co...

Troublemakers directed by Terence Hill and starring Terence Hill, Bud Spencer, and Boots Southerland. Episode Roundup: HO-HO-HOWDY! The Cowpunchers bring the holiday cheer (and a vat of beans) with this Christmas Classic! Stu is your bean-counter. Amy delights in a gruesome Christmas tree. Mel is undecided whether or not she liked this one.

The Cheyenne Social Club directed by Gene Kelly and starring James Stewart, Henry Fonda and Shirley Jones. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers watch some cowboys have a midlife crisis. Amy is too scared to dance in front of Gene Kelly. Stu thinks Jimmy Stewart needs to lighten up a little. Mel is glad that Jimmy Stewart and Henry Fonda fixed thier marriage.

Blood at Sundown  (released as "Perché uccidi ancora") directed by José Antonio de la Loma, and starring Anthony Steffen, Ida Galli, and Gemma Cuervo. Episode Roundup:  The Cowpunchers are nearly trampled to death by a cavalcade of horse chases. Mel presents her scientific thesis pinpointing the exact moment that the movie began to suck. Amy is frustrated to find that none of the writers knew how...

Forty Guns directed by Samuel Fuller and starring Barbara Stanwyck, Barry Sullivan and Dean Jagger. Episode Roundup: The cowpunchers are faced with relentless induendos in this 1950s Western. We handle it about as well as a handful of middle schoolers. Mel thinks that Griff's normal walk might be his super power. Stu is impressed by a large gathering of sweet looking dudes. Amy prefers a version o...

Ravenous directed by Antonia Bird and starring Guy Pearce, Robert Carlyle, and David Arquette. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers cook up a great discussion after watching this Halloween treat that gave them a lot to chew on! Amy draws a connection between MLMs and cannibalism. Stu makes that case that President Grant was a wendigo.

Rio Bravo directed by Howard Hawks and starring John Wayne, Dean Martin and Ricky Nelson. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers accidentally ruin Rio Bravo for themselves, but hopefully, not for you! Stu threatens enter the spirit realm in order to contact John Wayne. Mel deletes Jerry Lewis from her memory. Amy proposes a Roman style leadership structure for coots.

Frontier Marshal directed by Allan Dwan and starring Randolph Scott, Nancy Kelly, and Cesar Romero. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers are nearly overrun by an infestation of cowboys. Amy seeks directions to the next whiskey cart. Mel advises you to not threaten the people you like. Stu gets a lesson in how Vaudeville actors defend themselves in violent situations.

The Last of the Mohicans directed by Michael Mann and starring Daniel Day-Lewis, Madeleine Stowe and Russell Means. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers are reminded why we threw the tea into the harbor. Mel finds this movie too close to her personal brand of stress dream! Amy does not recommend you get burned at the stake. Stu posits that the movie The Assassination of Jesse James by the coward Rober...

Winchester '73 directed by Anthony Mann and starring Jimmy Stewart, Shelley Winters, Dan Duryea, and a gun. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers welcome you to the Gun Show. Amy regales us with tales of the One Rifle. Stu has all the Steve Miller Band puns you need. Mel heads over to the Sherwin Williams for a gallon of Dutch Henry Brown.

The Man from Snowy River directed by George Miller and starring Kirk Douglas, Tom Burlinson and Terence Donovan. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers go back to a rainy day horse camp to watch a cozy movie while the boys are away. Amy wants to wrap herself in this movie like a big fluffy blanket. Mel wants to know why all the old west jerks are named Curly and is the evil horse a vampire??

Light the Fuse...Sartana is Coming directed by Giuliano Carnimeo and starring Gianni Garko, Nieves Navarro, and Massimo Serato. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers revel in a festival of double-crosses. Stu is fascinated by the proliferation of tiny guns. Amy comes up with the follow up to the series "Is It Cake?"

True Grit directed by Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, starring Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon and Hailee Steinfeld. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers advise you to stay away from your local murder-hobo. Amy wonders why the Philadelphia Flyers Mascot - Gritty - was not included in either version of the film. Mel wonders if Matt Damon's "Matt Damon-ness" works for this character? Stu shares what ty...

True Grit directed by Henry Hathaway and starring John Wayne, Kim Darby, and Glen Campbell. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers reflect on awful childhood haircuts. Mel warns us of the dangers of fourteen-year-old horse girls who are good at math. Amy successfully describes a snake pit. Stu is impressed by John Wayne's lumbering.

Annie Oakley directed by George Stevens, starring Barbara Stanwyck, Preston Foster and Melvyn Douglas. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers watch a 1930s biopic of Annie Oakley that is so loose with the facts that they forgot to put her husband in the film! Amy accidentally gets herself banned from watching any future Tobey Maguire Spiderman movies. Stu reveals himself to be a true feminist. Mel coins...

Cattle Queen of Montana directed by Allan Dwan and starring Barbara Stanwyck and Ronald Reagan. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers watch another Reagan B-Movie where the "B" stands for "Blatant Propaganda." Amy would like to see Barbara Stanwyck shoot more creeps. Mel doesn't like the character that the movie told her to like. Stu gave up half way and just watched baseball.

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers directed by Stanley Donen and starring Jane Powell, Howard Keel, and Jeff Richards. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers contemplate the question, "If a tree falls in the forest, and it crushes your parents, do you turn feral?" Amy unexpectedly learn a lot about ketchup. Mel successfully identifies the jumpy boy. Stu advises you to buy your crush a cheeseburge...

Calamity Jane directed by David Butler and starring Doris Day, Howard Keel and Allyn Ann McLerie. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers observe some gals bein' pals! Mel and Amy categorize Calamity as a lady coot and have an interesting digression about teeth. Stu is enamored by Doris Day, and would prefer we stop talking about teeth. 

The Mask of Zorro directed by Martin Campbell and starring Antonio Banderas, Anthony Hopkins, and Catherine Zeta-Jones. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers discuss the issues inherent in "Horny Confessional." Mel revels in all the clever one liners. Stu identifies Catherine Zeta-Jones as this movie's "sexy howitzer." Mel gets best-in-class on the geography quiz simply by showi...

Ride the High Country directed by Sam Peckinpah and starring Joel McCrea, Randolph Scott and Mariette Hartley Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers meet the drunkest judge, the most sinister set of brothers and your favorite western grandads. Amy declares that sometimes you just have to be a person! Stu becomes enamored with Randolph Scott. Mel is confused by Kate's choice of wedding attire. This e...

Appaloosa directed by Ed Harris and starring Ed Harris, Viggo Mortensen, and Renée Zellweger. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers encourage you to wash your butt. Amy conducts a thorough investigation to determine what are the female lead's motivations. Mel felt the movie didn't live up to its name. Stu enjoyed watching smug dudes getting shot.

Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron directed by Kelly Asbury and Lorna Cook, starring Matt Damon, James Cromwell and Daniel Studi. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers aren't crying! You're crying! Stu pitches a new reality TV show: Horse Wives. Amy suggests you watch this one with subtitles. Mel gives a stern warning about petting wild bison.

Death Rides a Horse directed by Giulio Petroni, and starring Lee Van Cleef, John Phillip Law, and Mario Brega. Episode Roundup: SABATATHON '24 ends with this bleak tale of greed and revenge. Mel is excited to hear Lee Van Cleef call someone an idiot. Stu concludes that if you trap Lee Van Cleef in a hotel room, you've only signed your own death warrant. Amy asks us all to roll for initiati...

Dig Your Grave, Friend... Sabata's Coming directed by Juan Bosch, starring Richard Harrison, Fernando Sancho and Raf Baldassarre. Episode Roundup: Can a Sabata by any other name be as cool? The Cowpunchers find out in this Sabata copycat containing a boat load of heinous hats, awkward fight foley work, and one truly unbelievable fake mustache. Amy picks a movie that is impossible to find, Mel...