Counselors Can Help

In this episode we cover how people accidentally get into conflict. There are numerous ways family members get into a fight that nobody wanted. This episode walks through some examples of that and how to avoid it. In this episode we also answer questions like -How do I refute ideas I don't agree with? -What to do if another person is talking crazy? -How can I avoid a fight with my spouse or child?...

Learn negotiating skills from the best. In this episode we start learning the skills of negotiating from an FBI negotiator Chris Voss. From his book "Never Split the Difference" you can learn valuable insights which can relate to problem solving and relationships. This show will begin a series on negotiating. In this episode we answer questions like.. -How do I start a negotiation? -What mistakes...

In this show I do a review of conflict and where people generally go wrong. Where do we typically bog down? If we are getting upset due to a long-standing story, we tend to perpetuate more of the same. The argument just continues. Hope is lost. This show is trying to regain hope and talk about more examples that may be more effective. We discuss needs, nonviolent communication and the hope of "wha...

In this show I will discuss the main reason change gets off the rails. Usually it is a situation that is overwhelming. People get overwhelmed by the whole situation in their lives. For that reason, it is hard to stay on track because new problems arise and we now have a game of whack-a-mole. This constant awareness of what is wrong and new fires to put out is just exhausting. For this reason, chan...

In this show we discuss how to begin the change process. In general, the recommendation is to start easy. Start with what you can handle. This will be different for different people. It is up to you to set the starting strategy. In this show we answer -How do I get started with change? -What typically leads to failing to start a new habit? -Why do people recommend you start small with change? -Sho...

Numerous times we attempt change and don't succeed. It is important to take a quick look into what usually gets people off track and how to stay motivated. In this episode we discuss the deadly comparisons that people make and how to spot a negative cycle and actually develop a plan for the future. In this episode we discuss -How can I stay motivated to make change? -Can comparison be good? -Can c...

In this episode we will cover the idea of the mindset of change. What does it take to make lasting and effective change? Many times we focus on the outcome and the process, but not the mindset needed. Therefore, change becomes much more difficult. What is the mindset needed to create a better environment for lasting change? In this episode we will answer -How can I learn to make lasting change? -W...

In this episode I set up the idea of time preference. Many people want to make changes or decide a new year's resolution. What to choose? Time preference is a mentality that will really help identify the next step. Time preference is assessing if you have short term or long term goals. This episode will introduce a new way of thinking about how you look at problems and the world. In following epis...

Join the new economy and donate to a movement using bitcoin. Here is the link to help you contribute a small amount or tip to the show and the bitcoin economy. Donate to Counselors Can Help Holidays can be hard and family events can add stress. It's supposed to be fun. This show I discuss some survival tips to keep things on track and hopefully get more out of it. The theme is process of outcome....

Join the new economy and donate to a movement using bitcoin. Here is the link to help you contribute a small amount or tip to the show and the bitcoin economy. Donate to Counselors Can Help In this show we will discuss trauma and how it impacts your life and your relationships. This show is about teaching you what trauma does to you, how we would work on that and then some examples of what this wo...

Join the new economy and donate to a movement using bitcoin. Here is the link to help you contribute a small amount or tip to the show and the bitcoin economy. Donate to Counselors Can Help How can a person start to make changes after a life of anxiety? What is the strategy? If everything makes you nervous, how do you get over that? In this episode we will talk about the general strategy and what...

Join the new economy and donate to a movement using bitcoin. Here is the link to help you contribute a small amount or tip to the show and the bitcoin economy. Donate to Counselors Can Help In this show I discuss more on what to do when another person is melting down or going negative. Communication problems in relationships is always unique and needs a set of skills. This episode is about listeni...

In this episode I build the case of how to view a relationship and getting yourself and others to focus on the bigger picture and not just what is wrong. We typically can get into a cycle of bickering and criticizing or giving each other "helpful" suggestions about how to succeed. My visual in this case is a garden, and we will go through some examples of how to think about it. The use of a garden...

In this episode I talk about what we control. It really is more than you think. There are numerous important things in life that we control. The point of talking about this is to plan to put more effort and thought into those areas. Lets spend less on the areas we don't control, which usually leads to emotional problems and frustration. In this episode I discuss -What can I actually control? -How...

Today's show is about hearing bad news. This can come from anybody at all, but the person has just experienced a painful situation and they are relaying it to you. We shall discuss some things to think about and try to keep it simple. We don't want to make the situation worse. You can use this episode to prep for a future event and also go back in your memory to a situation like this and see how y...

In this show we talk about what to do during a pause. The fight is stopped or you want to come back to a sticky subject with a person. How do you do that and not just come back to conflict as bad as it was before? What if you want to bring up a sticky subject? Can you do it in a way that does not promote both people just defending themselves? We also answer questions like.. -How can we change our...

In today's show we will talk about attachment theory. This is probably the simplest and most effective relationship idea I believe there is. What basic traits and habits do some people have in relationships and how to use that information? As a motivation here, this will likely describe all the fights you have had and will likely continue to have. This is the key that can unlock a lot of frustrati...

In this show we will talk about my best idea for correcting and maintaining relationships. That is the idea of what is going right and focusing on how to grow success. Many times we think pointing out the flaws is the best path to harmony, but I don't think that is right at all. That is certainly needed at times, but I don't believe it is a good recipe for success going forward. This show focuses...

Before I get to this episode, Liza and I discuss the new movie Top Gun. I was very impressed and I want to do a show or series on the realism of this particular movie. I think it would be fun to educate people about what they saw (fighter pilot stuff) and discuss ideas in the movie that I think people would be interested in. More to follow on that! The fighter pilot in me has been fired up! Now ba...

On this show we continue the conversation on how the client can improve their chances and come to therapy with a good attitude. Liza and I will talk about the recipe for success in the room and try to quantify that. We feel therapy or counseling can work for anybody at any level. Having a great attitude and some strategies can help you get the most out of it. In this show we will answer questions...

Why do some clients seem to achieve so much in counseling? What characteristics lead to success and an amount of positive change that wasn't even thought possible? This episode is the start of a short series on what that looks like. Liza and I talk about what you can do to emulate success that can almost seem out of reach. You can do it and counselors can help! In this episode we answer questions...

How can ART work for you? In this show I walk through a sports example from superbowl history. I talk about why you would be motivated to use ART to address the past. I talk about more details and how it can benefit you now. In this show I also address? -Why would I want to do ART? -How could I benefit from ART? -It all sounds too good to be true. Tell me more specifics. -If we can't change the pa...

In today's show we have a good time discussing another way to slow down or prevent the big fight. What if you are RIGHT? What if you need the child to go to school? They don't want to go. I am sure telling them more forcefully may not go well. What if your spouse accuses you of something you didn't do or say, yet you can't convince them otherwise? The goal of this show is to be able to hold your g...

Have we ignored the mental health of healthcare workers? They help us but who is helping them? In this show we are talking about professionals that may need a new mental health focus and what that would look like. How can a current medical provider get help now? In this show I talk to Jennifer George. Jennifer is the author of her book Communication is Care, and also the host of the podcast the He...

In this show we talk more about accelerated resolution therapy (ART). We discuss the key idea of image replacement and how this could be helpful. What are all good trauma therapies really trying to do? We will also address question on -How does this work? -What is they key task in trauma therapy? -Can we make memories go away? -What can we do to make memories more useful? -What is the part that ma...