Counseling Tips For Pastors And Ministry Leaders - Practical Help From Christian Counselors

Christians are extra busy this time of year! Christmas, New Years - a wonderful time for remembering the Lord and enjoying your family… but quite likely, also a time for extra tasks, worldly distractions, and perhaps even a “bah-humbug” or two.   As you approach Christmas and prepare for a brand new year, may you find encouragement (and perhaps some Spirit-led conviction) by the simple Bible verse...

You want to enjoy the holidays. But the holidays can bring up a lot of hard emotions.   And one of those emotions is STRESS. From planning extra events to dealing with family conflict during holiday gatherings, there is plenty about the holiday season that can be difficult.    Thankfully, there are practical things to do that will help reduce stress - so you can enjoy your holiday season more full...

No one likes passive aggressive communication. And it usually falls in the category of “I know it when I see it” … but we can’t always define it. We don’t always understand it.    Which makes it much harder to stop it.   So today on the podcast, join me for a counselor’s tips on building healthier communication patterns in your ministry and at home. We’ll look at some common examples of passive ag...

We live in a world saturated by sadness. There are epidemics of loneliness and anxiety. Depression is a growing problem.    Yet, there is hope. Opening the pages of Scripture, we find action steps and ways to support people who are struggling. And in the counseling room, these same tips are very helpful!   So today on the podcast, let’s take a look at 4 tips that will help you come alongside peopl...

It’s not your job or calling in life to make people happy. And despite your best efforts, it would be impossible to do.   All of us in ministry can take heart from the Apostle Paul’s reminder in Galatians 1:10. “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”   The reality...

It might be a buzzword, a counseling cliche, or something that feels way too touchy-feely. But if you’re in Christian ministry, you need to understand empathy.    What is it? Why does it matter for Christians? Is it something you should aim for in your ministry? What would that really look like?   These are good questions - and today, I’ll share some answers! Join me to talk through what empathy i...

Grief is hard. No one likes it. It’s never easy.    But it is unavoidable.    And one of the realities of grief is that it is a special place for Christians to step in and offer care. It is a time when people need someone to come alongside them. People often turn to their faith community most especially during times of grief.    So, how does a pastor or other ministry leader better understand what...

One of the most common calls that Christ gives to his followers is that they should forgive one another. It’s all over the pages of Scripture!    And it is hard.   When we sin or mess up, it is hard to apologize. We wonder what to say, how to say it, and sometimes if we even need to bother. And then, when others sin against us, we struggle to forgive.    But no relationship can be healthy, intimat...

As a Christian counseling agency, one of the most common questions that we get from our local pastors is “How can I help this couple in my church who is struggling?”   Today, let’s offer some resources!   There are plenty of ideas for conversations, questions to ask, and things to try with couples who are struggling. But one of the best ways to find a good book that can expand your own knowledge,...

Is there anything more frustrating than putting a lot of time and energy into helping someone… and they just don’t appreciate it? Or, they just aren’t getting better? You can’t see how the Lord is working or how your efforts are making a difference?   Not only is this a very frustrating experience - it can lead us into burnout.    When you’re burned out, it’s hard to care as much. It’s hard to put...

Ministry is hard work. Leadership is hard work. Put them together?   Unless you are intentional about it, Christian leadership within a church or ministry will take a toll on you. It can quickly and sneakily start to impact your relationships, mental health, emotions, sleep, spiritual life, and so much more.    So today, let’s talk about some life habits that will help you be intentional to care f...

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2, NIV)   It is not of question of IF your ministry will touch someone who is struggling with anxiety. It’s a question of when, how often, and what will you do to help.   Anxiety is a huge problem in our culture today. And when you are concerned that someone may be struggling with anxiety, you don’t need...

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)   As you build relationships with people in your ministry, you will certainly interact with people who are struggling with anxiety.    But will you recognize them?   Anxiety is one of the most common struggles in our modern culture. In fact, it’s so common that many people don’t even realize that it is a problem! They don’t rea...

“In this world, you will have trouble,” Jesus tells his followers. “But take heart! I have overcome the world.”   One of the long-term “troubles” that many people in your ministry struggle with is the aftermath of trauma, hurt, and emotional baggage. In fact, you may struggle with this yourself.    In our broken world, trauma and emotional pain is very common. And it’s also hard to ministry to peo...

Ministry work can take its toll on us. And in the busyness of it all, sometimes we forget to put any time or energy into caring for ourselves.    But when we live this way, we start to feel it - in our emotional wellness, mental health, physical energy, and in our relationships.    Today, we’ll look at 10 key areas of life where we ALL need coping skills! We’ll look at some specific examples and l...

Addictions recovery can feel like an overwhelming issue that is best left to the “professionals.” But the Bible is clear that there is only one ultimate Healer… and his name is not Dr. Jesus. It’s Jesus Christ, Lord and Savior.    So if you are a pastor, a Bible study leader, a Christian friend, a youth mentor - or any other ministry leader - you have something unique and important to offer people...

Ministry work involves helping people through many difficult and painful life circumstances. And one of the hardest is helping people who are dealing with an addiction. There are a lot of ways that pastors and other Christian leaders can help people when they are fighting addiction, but one of the most basic ways is to offer practical, Christ-centered, appropriate resources.    But what are some o...

Hearing people and helping people FEEL heard are two different things.   In today’s busy, loud, disconnected world, feeling heard is an incredibly meaning experience. Everyone wants to know that they are seen, valued, and appreciated.    Of course, we cannot make people feel anything. We cannot guarantee that people will always react to us in the way we hope or expect.    But we can approach our i...

Many of us think we are better listeners than we really are.    But there is a reason the Bible tells us to be quick to listen and slow to speak (James 1:19). Listening is powerful and important. And the reality of human relationships is that being a GOOD listener does take some intentional effort.   It’s more than just hearing the words someone is saying. It’s more than just finishing a conversat...

One of the most common things that Christian counselors help clients with is getting their thought life more in line with Philippians 4:8.    When someone is stuck in negative thinking, it is not honoring to God and not helpful to their relationships or emotional health. And guess what? Pastors and ministry leaders struggle with their thinking too!   In our last episode, we looking at the 5 R’s to...

Even strong Christians sometimes struggle with negative thinking. We can get stuck overthinking things, blaming ourselves for problems, grumbling, or judging others in our thoughts.   But there are strategies that will help!   As you pray over these struggles, confess your sin, and seek the Holy Spirit’s help, these 5 strategies will give you practical action steps to start changing your thought p...

At some point in life, everyone will struggle with conflict. The church is not immune! Even in the best ministry, there are different personalities, priorities, and preferences. Conflict will happen.    So what’s a pastor or leader to do?   Of course, the top urgency is to start with prayer. Pray for the other person, for the situation, for your own reaction. Be quick to listen and slow to speak....

Hopefully, you’ve thought through what you want (dare I say… need?) your boundaries to look like. This is critical for a healthy ministry, family, and life.    But then the question turns to: how do I do it?   How do I implement these boundaries? Stick with them when it’s tough? Adjust them if it’s appropriate?    Well, today I’ll share 5 tips from my experience as a licensed counselor, pastor’s w...

One of the biggest problems in ministry leadership is burnout. The demands of ministry are high and the stress, emotions, and responsibilities weigh on us.    And one of the best things that can help prevent burnout and keep you passionate about the ministry work you are doing is setting boundaries.   We all need healthy boundaries! Jesus had them, and we need them.    Join us today for some pract...

Every Christian leader will have opportunities to help people in their marriages. But how do you approach marriage counseling? Can you help a marriage even if you’re meeting 1:1 with someone? (Yes! You can.)   Today you’ll get some specific tips from a Christian marriage counselor on how to get started on the right foot when you’re trying to help couples.    Whether you’re doing full-blown marriag...