Conversations from the Heart

Today, Colleen shares her experience of balancing emotional authenticity with others' expectations, while CJ explores the challenges of offering meaningful apologies and overcoming guilt and shame. This episode is for you if you've ever wondered: How do you stay connected when emotions run high? What’s the secret to offering an authentic apology without getting stuck in guilt or shame? H...

This week I talk to Steve, who is trying to balance his care for a friendship that has become emotionally draining, with his care for himself, and we explore questions many of us grapple with:  How do we distinguish between setting boundaries and abandoning someone we care about?  How do we honor our own well-being while remaining compassionate toward others? You’ll hear Steve’s initial conversati...

What if the smallest moments of care could transform a relationship or change a life? In this episode, we uncover the surprising power of empathy and connection through two compelling stories. Discover how to meet people where they are, foster deep understanding, and create conversations that truly matter. We discuss:   2:01 How can I help shift someone from self-blame to self-compassion? 6:33 Wha...

In this episode, we tackle one of the most challenging aspects of communication: defensiveness. Whether it’s a friend who dismisses others, a family member who reacts sharply, or a coworker who resists feedback, defensiveness often creates distance in relationships. But what if we could work with defensiveness instead of resisting or judging it? Drawing from real-life listener questions, I explore...

Today's conversation with Julia and Meka explores the problems with being "normal" and recommends strategies for being authentic and real, instead. The idea of being "normal" can be misused to keep people compliant and obedient - but this isn't always the "healthiest" or wisest move.   Additionally, this episode features some discussion on the way domination...

This week we explore critical themes around racism, bullying, emotional safety, and systemic bias, as we talk with Simone about how to protect her kindergarten son from bullying.   In this powerful and emotionally charged episode, you'll witness both empathetic support and strategic advice for navigating the complex dynamics of racism, bias, and systemic inaction. Together, we discuss restora...

In this special holiday episode, we explore what happens when connection feels strained, boundaries are tested, and communications gets tough.  From dealing with unsolicited advice and navigating silent partners to addressing unresolved conflicts in community and bridging value divides, these four callers bring real-life challenges that many of us can relate to.  Together, we'll unpack practi...

One of the most important stops we can make on our healing journey is figuring out how to sit with uncomfortable feelings.  Often, this will appear in the form of others being upset with us.  In this episode, we discuss one approach to others' upset:  the ability to hear the message even when couched in a clumsy delivery. We consider: 2:00 How can I speak with a friend who's always on he...

Today, we’re bringing you three heartfelt and deeply relatable conversations: Co-Parenting with a Narcissist:  How do you protect your children while maintaining your own emotional resilience? We’ll dive into strategies for setting firm boundaries, minimizing conflict, and creating a safe and nurturing environment for your kids—all while managing the complexities of dealing with someone who priori...

Let's dive into the complexities of communication, parenting, and emotional connection as we explore:  1.  How to handle projections in relationships when someone assumes your  thoughts and reacts defensively.  2. What do you do when your child doesn't like your "tone of voice?  3. What do you do when you want a deeper connection with a friend but fear their response? Or when a frie...

Friendships can be so difficult to navigate sometimes.  In today's conversation, we help identify the factors that can make friendships feel icky, and work out ways to show up authentically and with an open heart, rather than trying to problem solve. We discuss: 1:00  Looking for an in-person opportunity to work with me?  Consider attending my retreat! 3:52  Help!  My friend and I can really...

Are you worried about Thanksgiving dinner conversations with family members who voted differently than you?  In this week's episode, we listen to a conversation with Suzanne, who is trying to navigate issues of duty and connection with family members who don't share her values. We discuss: 1:39  How do I explain to my family that I can't talk to them? 4:55  Working with the concept...

This week's podcast features one of my favorite discussions:  Boundaries.  It can be hard to set boundaries with life-long friends, and this week's discussion explores the complications concerning caring for ourselves, and helping others. In this episode we explore: 1:00  Looking for an in-person opportunity to work with me?  Consider attending my retreat! 4:01  A follow up conversation...

When they're good, our friendships can greatly contribute to the overall quality of our life.  When they're hard, our friendships can make life really difficult. On this episode of Conversations from the Heart, we talk about all kinds of issues regarding friendships.   We discuss: 1:01  How do I take a break from a friendship? 8:10  How to acknowledge a truth instead of debate it. 14:46 ...

One of the hardest decisions we can make is to dismantle a marriage when there are children involved. On this episode of the podcast, we uncover how to make the decision of whether to stay in or leave a marriage because of the kids.  We also discuss: 1:34  How do I make accommodations for my needs and my children's needs at the same time? 4:01  Determining the values behind our needs 6:15  Gr...

It's domination programming that teaches us the louder we raise our voices, the faster the other person will capitulate and join our side. However, in order to affect real change, the key is to get others to care about what it is we're caring about.  And this is a much slower, longer, harder task. In this episode, we talk with a caller embarking on a trip to South Africa, who is interest...

The locus of control in a boundary lies with us, and concerns what we are willing and unwilling to do. One of the data points we can use when negotiating our boundaries is how others engage with us. In this podcast episode, we discuss our responsibility for setting up terms for engagement that are centered around our values, and we discuss: 1:11  How do I reinforce a boundary with out losing my te...

It can be incredibly painful when we find ourselves in relationships where we long for deeper authentic connection but can't seem to elicit that desire in others. In this episode, we discuss: 1:11  How can I connect with someone who can't work won't talk about his feelings? 8:13  If someone is unhappy, that must mean something is wrong, right? 12:11  How our agenda is often an obsta...

It's easy to let our thoughts sink into the "shoulds" that have been programmed into us: " I should be able to handle this:  other people say it's easy." "He should be able to get ready and go to school by himself - he's old enough now." "I should have paid my taxes weeks ago - why does this feel so hard?" However, running our lives on "s...

When we want to stay in relationship with people who have hurt us, it's important for us to figure out a way to connect with them in a way that keeps us open hearted and also protected. But how, exactly, can we show up open heartedly in ways that also protect us and keep us safe?   That's where open hearted and loving boundaries come in.  In this episode we explore: 1:00  How can I make...

We've all been well trained in the rules of the game we all know.  We've been taught to be dutiful children, loving siblings, tolerant friends. But when some of us realize that we've outgrown the status quo, it can feel like an act of rebellion and revolution as we transform the rules of a system that no longer works for us in search for a more authentic way of life. At the very beg...

Love cannot be ordered up.  Care cannot be demanded.  If we want certain people to love us, or care about us, is there anything we can do to make that more likely?   This episode explores various relational moves across three scenarios that might help to inspire more care for ourselves from other people.  We discuss: 1:36  The stove is broken.  How can I inspire my partner to care about this? 5:25...

We may be interested in living an authentic, honest life. Unfortunately, that doesn't necessarily mean those we're closest to are interested in doing the same thing. The easiest way to encourage those around us to show up authentically is by ensuring we make that experience as easy and enjoyable as possible for them. In this episode, we discuss: 2:31  My daughter rescinded her dinner inv...

Navigating relationships with difficult family members can sometimes be a Herculean task. This episode highlights four main strategies for walking the path of authentic communication with family members who can be hard to connect with: 1.  Practicing the art of translating judgments into feelings and needs. 2.  Maintaining deep connection with ourselves.  3.  Locating the conversation in the prese...

Changing our default patterns in relationships takes intention and effort.  Whether we're wanting to act differently with loved ones at home or with strangers in public, relational transformation starts by turning inward and working with ourselves, first. In this week's conversation we discuss: 1.01  Find information on my upcoming offerings:  Deep Dive into Narcissism and Shame   and wi...