Confidence

I’ve been feeling really good lately, and it’s funny how when you stop forcing your dating life, things really do come so naturally (let me explain). Speaking of which, I went on a first date. I share how we got there, from running into her at an event to patting my armpits with a napkin before she showed up. I also talk about awkwardly approaching my gym crush. Then I answer a listener’s situatio...

You might think this podcast is just for the girls, it's not. I get into two stories from close friends of mine. I randomly bumped into them at a coffee shop and told them to ask me a question about their current dating lives. The first is a recovering people pleaser going through a divorce and figuring out how to grieve the life she thought she would have had, and the other is an avoidant who...

How many relationships have you spent walking on eggshells? How many relationships has your partner felt that way? I live-coach a listener two months in with a guy who’s all in. She’s met his family. Then she sees a picture of his ex at his parents’ house, and all hell breaks loose. To be honest, I relate: I couldn't maintain a relationship because I was too reactive. I wish someone had given...

Are you dating, or are you collecting proof that somebody wants you? This week I'll tackle two questions. The first is about how to not get too attached in the talking stage, and what to do if you keep getting ghosted after good dates. Before I get to those, I share some wicked perspectives on reality and how I cut off my own validation: no story views, no likes, no casual dating, no DMing. It...

Boundaries Workshop Sign-Up: https://app.confidencechris.com/boundaries-pop-up-sign-up I found the secret to getting back into your good energy. It's actually really simple, yet so insidiously hard. Did you know that you are one direct communication away from freedom? Let's talk about it. I'll dissect three situations from people who are all post-relationship and all doing the same thi...

You're not missing them, you're missing a feeling. Let me explain. But first, I share a triggering message I received from a friend pointed at my avoidance. I'll give you an alternate perspective on how to handle harsh energy from those closest to you, while weaving in emotional wounds from how I grew up, and the layer of distance every girl I've dated has felt with me. I also clea...

Stop playing footsies with people who will never give you what you want. This episode is about getting deeper with yourself and your reactions. Many people feel stuck in relationships where they are frustrated, angry, and misunderstood. I'll give a personal example of how I recently got triggered when a friend showed up late, leading to verbal jabs and mental disconnection. I’ll break down how...

This week came out of nowhere. I feel like I got sucker-punched with some difficult feelings and some hard truths. This week's title is seeking heartbreak, which is something I told myself I wanted to do. I've been sick of running away from what I desire, but what's funny is that I asked, and I received just as quickly. I also made a major realization about how deep my avoidance runs....

Do they ever come back? It's time to end the debate once and for all. I'll also talk about why you want them back in the first place (trigger warning). Before we get there, I reflect on my recent fuck it attitude I have gotten for life lately. I get into the way we all communicate indirectly: the jabs you call jokes, the "I just miss the friendship" story your brain feeds you, an...

When someone doesn't choose you, is it really about you? Let me tell you why it's not personal. Before I get into that, I pour my little heart out about feeling a little run down. I'll reflect on how tough it is to say no in the moment and how your exhaustion is a signal to recalibrate. Then I answer a question about handling the silent treatment without letting it wreck your confidenc...

Most guys have a dream car, I have a dream cat. We are not the same. The cat does happen to be $15,000 though. Yikes, so my friend yelled at me, but then it hit me… You might be wondering what this has to do with a dating podcast episode. Well, because my off-brand desire relates directly to my dating life. No rushing, no settling, no second-guessing. I'll get into how my avoidance used to mak...

This week we are getting into the contrast between anxious and avoidant patterns. I wrote something down that I feel describes the dynamic perfectly. I will discuss my own challenges with avoidance and how I am working towards healing it. I also recap a situation from last week's episode where a listener quickly backed off a relationship. I discuss how to lead with more curiosity and less defe...

My boy asked me .. how do you tell the difference between intensity and actual intimacy (especially in a push/pull dynamic where it's hard to tell the difference)? I share my thoughts on what I feel the difference is and how to identify it. But before I get into that, I play a voice note from a girl who is navigating a similar situation about a guy who communicated his lack of certainty to her, an...

I saw a video this week that said people who lack empathy are garbage, and it triggered me into a rabbit hole about narcissism. This will be confrontational and controversial, but really my goal is to give you an alternate perspective on how this is defined in our culture and the dynamics that are created by both partners. I get into why the person giving and giving is also being selfish, and how/...

Isn’t it crazy how those shorter relationships can hit way harder than the longer ones? Today I reflect on this, and what would happen if that person ever came back. I then lean into how my views of compatibility vs. chemistry have shifted, while still battling guilt when I admit and enforce my high standards. I then get into whether I still deal with imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and procrast...

If you have anxious attachment, this episode is going to be a gut punch, but a necessary one. The truth is, most people don't have a feeling problem, they have a thinking problem. I'll show you what you can't see about chasing and caring for someone who doesn't seem to show the same energy back. Let's get into it. This week I'm fresh off an emergency landing, and now I'...

So I broke my celibacy, and may have pulled my groin in the process. This somehow spun off into an analogy about how I got the ick from cigarettes and letting go of toxic relationships (aka emotional cigarettes), trust me it’s sensational. Then I get into the situation everyone obsesses over: is it insecure to want your partner to unfollow people on social media, or is your gut telling you somethi...

So this was a very unexpected week to say the least. I saw the most attractive girl I've seen in years, didn't shoot my shot, and came home feeling like shit. I'll talk about why and the importance of taking the risk. This then leads into a story about an unexpected new connection that caught me off guard. It's crazy how the smallest moments can shine a light on your internal fears...

This is going to be a Dear Diary episode. A podcast journal of how I am feeling at my core. I've been in a mini funk, but somehow it's also the most peace I've felt in my life in a long time. The duality of it all ... Really what's happening is that I'm emotionally celibate, and that's brought me an enormous amount of clarity, but also this weird blank page feeling. I get h...

To be real, last week I hadn't been feeling my best. I care about showing up confident (and not looking weak), so I tend to mask those feelings. That's how our conversation starts. I get into detail about why I am the way I am. I'll walk you through how I grew up insecure and rebellious, all the way till now, and why I still deeply crave attention. I then shift gears to a situation sen...

The real work begins, not when you decide to leave, but directly after. It’s the weeks and days following that force you to face yourself and face your fears. Today, we are talking about getting back on your feet, leaving guilt and proving behind, and the real glow up post breakup. Maybe they are with someone new, maybe you are just determined to let go, today’s episode is a direct challenge to ta...

Why is it so hard to let go when you know something isn't right? Last episode I told you I ended my situationship, and this time it feels final. In this episode, I share how difficult it is to actually separate and how no contact gets harder before it gets easier. I start off with a question about not being ready to commit, and how I called Jay in a panic to "talk me off the ledge" w...

Something major is shifting in my love life. Today I am going to share with you a few personal stories, about letting go of a situationship, guilty feelings after a hookup, and ending old habits. Before that my friend asked me about the pettiest thing that gives me the ick, and if I get more icked out now that I am shifting to looking for love versus sex. I will discuss why people are dishonest in...

Is intense chemistry actually a bad thing? In today's episode, I'll share a listener's dilemma around this trending idea that chemistry doesn't matter at all. I break down what exactly chemistry and compatibility mean to me, and how they work in tandem with each other. I'll relate it to a client story about falling hard for someone despite massive red flags, and why anxious peo...

Why are you staying in that inconsistent relationship? Is it really because you have hope things will be different or is it actually because you have something to prove? I start today's episode by answering if it's "wrong" to reach out after being ghosted. I will then tackle two situations side-by-side about women who are in identical hot-and-cold multi-year situationships. I&#39...