Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

Sending a child off to college usually produces a lot of worry and stress for parents. All of the sudden we know so much less about what is going on for our child's life so, if left unmanaged, our brains will spiral and ruminate in this worry. Worry creates much unneeded negativity in our life which we project onto our children, feeding their own anxieties. Listen as Heidi teaches why worry SEEMS...

Fear and hope are both motivators - we DO or DON'T do things from these emotions. Fear, though, keeps us stuck and is filled with scarcity, doubt and insecurity. Hope is a more anchored and confident emotion. Its important to know which emotion we are projecting to our teenagers because they will sense and absorb this energy. Learn the Fear or Hope anchoring tools that Heidi uses with clients to p...

Anger and the power it pretends to give us seems useful, but it rarely is. Anger is an escalated emotion coming from fear and other vulnerable emotions. When unchecked, our anger hurts us and our relationships. Listen as Heidi teaches you how to dismantle your anger, identify your fears, decide which anger is useful and re-anchor yourself to be the person you really want to be. Learn the exact too...

It sounds like a lovely thought - to want everyone to be happy - but this desire and thought can end up being a toxic thought that creates negativity and stress in us, if left unchecked. This thought then fuels us to emotionally gaslight other people by telling them they "shouldn't" be sad or having their negative emotional experience, instead of just SEEing other people and validating their emoti...

"What's the difference between a life coach and a therapy" is a common question. Both professions help people improve their mental wellness, but there are very specific differences between a coach and a therapist. Both have unique tools in their toolbox and focus on different areas of our brain and life. Listen as Heidi teaches how this relates to coaches and therapists for sports teams and athlet...

We interpret someone making eye contact, smiling, introducing themselves, being willing to have difficult conversations as those coming from confidence. When we're trying to develop our own confidence, it is useful to visualize what other confidence people DO, what they SAY and then visualize ourselves doing the same. Listen as Heidi walks through several situations and examples of what confidence...

Listen as Heidi explains about the background of her Lighten Up private membership for Mothers of Teenagers who want to gain more confidence and peace that they are making the right choices for their families. Lighten Up is for women who want less emotional and physical weight and want to feel more anchored in their self-esteem, emotions, and confidence. Click below to learn more and join as a fou...

While it feels good to have other people support us when we face obstacles, are weak and need help, it feels BETTER when we know WE can be that support to ourselves. We have a deep inner grounding when we know WE have the ability to have our own back. Listen as Heidi gives several examples of what this looks like in our lives and the ripple effects of building our inner confidence and strength.

The more uncomfortable emotions we are willing to feel in our life, the more growth we will experience. Handling uncomfortable conversations and situations builds confident, solid and respectful relationships with other people - but it starts with having our own solid self-confidence. Listen as Heidi gives examples of how to manage our thoughts and emotions to feel the discomfort and learn WHY thi...

We all have a space in our mind and body where we can pause, identify our emotions and thoughts and then choose how we want to respond. Achieving our goals requires us to learn how to pause and create specific emotions. In this episode Heidi explains a tool called The Why Pause that helps clients learn to shift their default emotions to more useful emotions by using their why's or reasons for sett...

One of the deepest fears we have as mothers is that we might "fail" our children and they will suffer because of our deficiencies. This fear isn't rooted in truths about our human experience and fuels us to insecurely try to control our children... all so we feel better. Listen as Heidi unravels this belief and talks through what "failing" and "succeeding" looks like. Turns out... succeeding is lo...

Our desire to be perfect ends up creating low self-esteem and negative mental talk in our own minds. On default we end up comparing and focusing on what we do "wrong", which sabotages our relationship with ourselves. Listen as Heidi shares unique tools to on how to improve our self-compassion and self-esteem as we embrace our humanness. Learn how to reframe all of the seasons of your life and impr...

Perfectionist mindsets and the fear of showing weakness to others creates disconnection and distance between us and all other people. As humans, though, we have a deep emotional need to connect and be understood. As Dr. Brene Brown says, perfectionism is a 2-ton shield we carry hoping not to get "hurt"... all the while the shield blocks growth and connection we desperately need. Heidi shares many...

When we think being "perfect" or without mistakes is the goal of our life, we inadvertently distance ourselves from Jesus Christ. We are telling Him that we don't "need" his Atonement in our life and, as a result, we become weaker. When we release our perfectionism, we connect more with the Savior, become stronger and allow real change to make us stronger. "God loves broken things because He can f...

We all give off a vibe through our body language, our words, our tone of voice, our clothes, how we hold ourselves and show up to the world.  This vibe is an outer expression of our inner thoughts, beliefs, opinions and more.  It also attracts into our life other people with the same inner compass.  It's important to routinely check in and make sure our vibe is consistent with who we want to be.  ...

We all need to cross a river of negative emotion if we want to change and reach new goals. Listen as Heidi explains this analogy so you can visualize the discomfort, commitment, patience and more needed to lose weight or reach other goals. Heidi explains why the river is the most important experience - this is where we BECOME people who can fail and be resilient, we BECOME people who are patience,...

"I'll start on Monday" is an excuse to go unconscious from our healthy goals and choices for a few days - to indulge. This mindset sabotages our health goals and is rooted in all or nothing thinking. Heidi shares why being conscious and intentional of our weekend habits sets the pattern for permanent health changes. Listen to the 7 tips and tools to make sure you enjoy your weekend AND use the tim...

Our brains on default look for what is missing, they focus on the negative and offer us thoughts to make us feel "not enough". This scarcity mentality creates insecurity, stress, anxiety, fear and more than isn't helpful. Listen as Heidi gives examples of this mentality and tools to easily pivot our thoughts to see that there is MORE than ENOUGH for everyone. The world is full of enough compliment...

The first step for change is owning the reality of what is, of seeing our truth. Our brain wants us to reject or deny the truth because it fears the false stories we make up that create shame and blame in our bodies. And these emotions keep us stuck. Listen as Heidi gives many examples of what it looks like to own our truth, in simple and complex ways. She gives you tools to quickly step into your...

Our brains can only handle a certain amount of decision making each day before they get tired.  We then start making poor choices or default to the easiest option... or worse... just don't decide (which IS a decision).  Listen as Heidi explains the ways in which decision fatigue hits us in every area of our life and tools to reduce it's negative impact.  Learn where to make decisions ahead of time...

We're all going to experience stress from time to time - it's part of how we grow. Stress itself isn't a problem - this is the clean stress of life. We create dirty stress in life when we make clean stress a problem, when we try to swerve into other people's lanes, and when we create problems where there are none. Listen to Heidi explain the difference between these two emotions and tools to elimi...

In this special episode Heidi teaches the foundation tool for SEEing ourselves which supports all of the belief, emotional and habit changes in her unique weight loss and confidence programs. Change comes when we realize- I am SPECIAL, - I am EQUAL - and I am ENOUGH. Much of our emotional eating is rooted in our inability to really SEE who we are. When we clearly SEE ourselves and own our uniquene...

Shame and blame are two of the most sabotaging emotions to have about our bodies. They make us powerless to make any change and these emotions are NOT rooted in reality. Learn from Heidi the thoughts and beliefs that put us in shame and blame and HOW to move to the middle where we find acceptance and reality. Accepting responsibility for our reality is the first step to improving our emotional and...

Our brain creates an unrealistic fear of failure so it doesn't have to work hard and we stay small. It fakes us into thinking we can't handle the emotional pain of failure and that it is the equivalent to death. So, we just don't try... which is really failing in advance. Listen as Heidi teaches you how to manage these fears, what they really are, how to manage your brain, thoughts and emotions......

We are who we BELIEVE we are.  We will achieve what we BELIEVE we are capable of achieving.  The problem is often our beliefs aren't based in any truth or reality.  And these belief creates walls, limits, ceilings and obstacles for our greatest goals and dreams.  Heidi gives many examples of beliefs that hold us back and steps to dismantle and change these beliefs! Listen... then start seeing your...