Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic with Jon Seidl

“I got prideful. I was like, ‘I’m never going to drink again.’ And then all of a sudden… it looked really good.” This conversation with Jeramy Houghton is a reminder that recovery is rarely clean or linear. Jeramy shares how growing up in an unsafe home shaped his sense of stability long before alcohol ever entered the picture. When drinking did become part of...

“Alcohol is a poison disguised as a remedy.” That’s the wisdom Ericka Andersen brings to this conversation—wisdom that developed after years of a quiet struggle that slowly took ahold of her and wouldn't let go. Like many evangelicals nowadays, she assumed drinking was neutral, normal, and largely harmless. But over time, she began to notice a widening gap between what alco...

“When I numbed anxiety and uncertainty, I also numbed beauty and joy.” That moment of clarity from Ericka Graham came after years of abusing prescription drugs, when God met her in a beautiful way involving a bumble bee and a flower. The point? Substances numb the bad, sure, but they also numb the good. But addiction isn't the whole of Ericka's story. From a young age, she also struggl...

“If you think you have an issue, you probably do.” That sentence from Carol McCracken gets to the heart of this week's episode. Carol didn’t fit the picture she had in her mind of what an alcoholic looked like. She was a Christian. A Bible study teacher. A ministry leader. A good mom. And for years, she told herself the same thing many of us do:  I don’t have a problem...

“We can think and act our way to a new feeling. We cannot feel our way to a new way of thinking and acting.” That line from therapist and author Nicole Zasowski cuts to the heart of anxiety, addiction, and the stories we tell ourselves when life feels uncertain. Nicole is the author of What If It’s Wonderful? —a book built around a disarming and deeply important question: W...

“I don’t want to be 60 years old having the same issues I had when I was 25.” What an honest and important statement from this week's guest, Brandon Ricks. Because the truth is, too many of us have just resigned ourselves to always being the way we are now. The fight for something different is hard, and so we give up. Brandon, though, finally had enough, and he started the painfu...

“Trauma does not reside in the bad event. Trauma is what becomes embedded in your body in the wake of a bad event when there’s no one there to comfort you.” What if you've been viewing trauma all wrong? And what if you don't think you've experienced trauma but you actually have? My guest this week is renowned trauma therapist Adam Young, and we're having a powerful conversation o...

“ We all just have different medicines that we reach for. ” That’s how Tim Sexton describes the real story behind the affair that blew up his life. Even though at one point that affair led to his downfall as a pastor, today it's not something he hides from. Instead, he's leaning into it in hopes to help others, and one of the ways he's doing that is by calling out the roots that...

“Our hypocrisy is our testimony. That’s God’s glory on display.” That truth from Faith Womack is exactly what those of us with messy sanctification stories not only need to hear, but embrace and embody. We all fall short. We all stumble. And yet, God uses our weakness—not our polished moments—to reveal His power and his grace. Faith Womack is one of the most pop...

“I was tormented. Literally tormented. I'd look in the mirror and go, ‘What are you doing? That’s not you.’” Brandon Puffer had everything, or so it seemed. He was a Major League pitcher with a World Series ring and was even being groomed to be a big league coach. But beneath the success were so many secret wounds that he refused to deal with. One night, after years o...

“Sin’s power is disconnection.” That's one of the essential ideas that runs through what therapist and author Chuck DeGroat talks about in this episode. A longtime pastor and counselor, Chuck isn't just commenting on burnout and addiction from afar—he's actually lived it. In fact, he opens up about his own journey of breaking down in his early forties, when his body and sou...

“ Sin doesn’t care who you are or what you’ve seen—it’s coming for all of us. ” That theme runs through Kirby Kelly’s story. See, she's part of a group of women you don't often hear about: females that struggle (or have struggled) with pornography addiction. Kirby's story is heartbreaking: She was exposed to pornography at four years old, again at seven, a...

“Getting sober without salvation is like giving a painkiller to a cancer patient.” That’s how John Elmore describes the difference between behavior modification and true transformation. He'd know. He was on the verge of ending it all with a shotgun when he finally realized his problem went deeper than just the alcohol. In this powerful and deeply personal conversation, John share...

“I didn’t know how to sit still with myself. I didn’t want to be alone with myself.” That’s what Hannah Brencher realized when she was finally able to admit she was an addict. But she wasn't addicted to any substance. Instead, she suffered from an addiction much more common, much more acceptable: her phone. And so many of us share that addiction. Hannah, one of my fav...

“Once I started drinking, I didn’t want to stop until something made me.” That’s how Stephanie Ziebell describes the grip alcohol had on her life. Stephanie got sober in Wisconsin—the capital of drinking culture. The place where not having alcohol at your wedding is like not having a bride. But as she shares, even in the middle of a state built on beer, Jesus met her...

“Shame is first and foremost not a thing that begins with me thinking a certain thing about myself. It begins first as a thing that I feel literally in my body.” That’s how Dr. Curt Thompson reframed shame in our incredible conversation—and I think he'll probably do the same for you, too. Curt is a psychiatrist, author, and speaker who has shaped the conversation around sha...

“High performers can hold it together—but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy.” That’s how Julie Holly describes the tension she lived in for years. On the outside, she was a successful entrepreneur, coach, and podcaster. But on the inside, alcohol was becoming her go-to solution for stress, escape, and the ache of not belonging. And like many high-performers, her su...

“If I’m numbing the lows, I’m numbing the highs. And then I’m just in this nothingness.” Here's the thing about alcohol: So many of us use it to numb the lows, but alcohol isn't a precision numbing agent. What does that mean? That while it can be useful to deal with the valleys, it also keeps you from enjoying the peaks. That’s exactly how Sarah Zanotti describe...

“Forgiveness is not the goal of salvation. Fellowship with God is the goal of salvation.” Think about that for a second. I had to. That’s how Kyle Worley reframes the Gospel in his new book, Home with God . And at first glance, it may seem...odd. Because so many of us think salvation is mainly about getting our sins forgiven so we can go to heaven. But Kyle rightly blows that up....

“There’s a part of you that drinks and a part of you that doesn’t—and that doesn’t make you crazy. That makes you human.” What happens when your faith says one thing and your actions say another? And what do you do when the coping mechanisms that once helped you survive start controlling you? That’s where today’s conversation lives—right in the...

“There are really only two kinds of people in this world—people in recovery who know they are, and people in recovery who think they're not.” Tullian Tchividjian was on top of the Christian world. A bestselling author, megachurch pastor, sought-after speaker—and yes, the grandson of Billy Graham. Then everything imploded.  After a very public affair and ministry collap...

“Silence isn’t honor.” Think about that phrase for a second. How many times have we believed the opposite, or been led to believe the opposite? Those words come from Gina Birkemeier. Gina is a licensed professional counselor, speaker, and the author of Generations Deep , one of the best books you'll ever read on breaking generational trauma. She’s also someone who has...

“It doesn’t happen overnight. Just small little incremental concessions.” That’s how Bill Seymour describes his descent into alcoholism—one slow slide at a time. Bill didn’t grow up in chaos. He wasn’t trying to escape trauma. He was raised in a Christian home, went to church every Sunday, married his high school sweetheart, and built a successful creative...

"You can’t hate yourself healthy." That’s the kind of line that sticks with you—not just because it’s catchy, but because it’s true. And for Erin Jean Warde, it was the truth that changed everything. In this episode, I sit down with Erin—an ordained Episcopal priest, recovery coach, and author of Sober Spirituality —to talk about what it looks like to buil...

“If alcohol is costing you your peace, it’s too expensive.” That idea is what helped Christy Osborne realize she needed to change her relationship with alcohol. Christy didn’t end up in jail. She didn’t wreck her marriage. She wasn’t waking up every morning with the shakes. From the outside, she looked like a thriving mom living the perfect life in London. But i...