Chase Bernstein
Composed
Chase Bernstein tackles the minutiae of everyday life through a stream of consciousness filled bursting with humor, subtlety and passion.
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Episodes
I've Been Bit Etc. 20.06.2026 38:09
A dilemma regarding the fate of my black, vintage Levi's jeans. A controversial orange juice take as well as the fact that... I've been bit. G to be back. https://youtu.be/8dpqzO4jGg8
Cauliflower Tacos Etc. 13.03.2026 30:38
An unprecedented stint at the Apple store in Corte Madera as well as a rollercoaster ride of a Meyer lemon offering. Rated W for wild. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPNX2qm22B4
A Scalp Treatment Beach Pivot 16.02.2026 31:56
One of the wildest day in global history, recorded on the final day of September (2025) no less. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLjPhQUWGco
The End of Pennies Etc. 23.01.2026 25:10
Not only are we not talking about the discontinuation of pennies enough, we're not talking about it all... until now. All that plus the unprecedented purchase of two wildly different pairs of shoes and some Nuggets discourse for good measure. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkQYwAym9Yg
A Mispackaged Mist Etc. 11.12.2025 36:19
If you've ever been on the receiving end of a mispackaged mist... this one's for you. Trust that there's a perfect moment for everything and that includes picking up seven pairs of underwear from Bloomingdale's. God bless. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlhc0vnBiUw
Hawaii etc. 24.11.2025 37:53
Getting my period/ being recruited to protect a resting monk seal/ operating a motor vehicle whilst in none other than Hawaii. The vibes are immaculate. The book referenced is "Inner Excellence" by Jim Murphy
The End 28.05.2024 37:10
The end of Tik Tok and the beginning of a phenomenal/discounted hot chocolate. The end of the Nuggets- the beginning of a new era. Thank you to everyone who listened, rated, reviewed and subscribed. We'll always have musical interludes.
Live From The Verizon Store 15.05.2024 24:50
The legend that already is episode 152 was recorded mere minutes after absorbing one of the most underwhelming instances of hot chocolate I've participated in thus far and yet it didn't stop me from pouring my heart into recounting the journey that was acquiring my new phone from a freshly opened Verizon store. All this plus the brutal honesty of Reddit.
TSA Pre Check Etc. 07.05.2024 33:18
An unprecedented gas station/ car wash, a tire situation and an index card conundrum. Honestly I inspired myself upon listening back on the glorious episode that is episode 150.
A Stint At Best Buy 09.04.2024 17:26
A frayed cord upgrade, driving around in silence, time is an illusion plus remembering a raspberry vanilla swirl frozen yogurt. You know, the usual. https://www.patreon.com/composedwithchasebernstein
Brick And Mortar 02.04.2024 25:47
An exhilarating trip to Staples, making eye contact with James Harden, plus forgiving everyone except James Harden for being so iconic. Nothing but the best for episode 149. https://open.substack.com/pub/chasebernstein/p/as-it-were?r=19m396&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
The Tier Of French 19.03.2024 26:42
A Duolingo math confession, an external hard drive purchase, a hike in the rain, terabytes. Episode 148, anyone? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0biIAApETo https://www.patreon.com/composedwithchasebernstein/membership
Live From Big Bear 13.03.2024 17:57
The altitude is high and so is my opinion on mini altoids. My journey with gum is assessed as well as a brief thought on fiberglass. No words were minced or diced in episode 147.
An Injured Woodpecker 05.03.2024 21:35
If it seems like I just found an injured woodpecker and drove it to a rehabilitation center in Calabasas it's because I just did.
Returning A Shell To The Sea (Not A Metaphor) 27.02.2024 30:15
Recorded on the brink of purchasing a dry brush from Etsy, episode 145 delves into habits, water fountains, warped floors and Denver Nuggets parallels. MVP me. https://www.patreon.com/composedwithchasebernstein https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1jG09cGjM8
A Scalp Treatment In San Gabriel 20.02.2024 40:01
Need I say more? https://www.patreon.com/composedwithchasebernstein https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAdlxSbmTRc
Bursting With Books 14.02.2024 43:36
Three unearthed crystals. Two hike related narratives, one glistening black Italian greyhound plus a ladybug inundation. Como se dice, we're back.
A Very Croissant Christmas 04.01.2024 43:40
Slipping into the new year equipped with Super Duolingo, and two days of French under my belt... truly a high like no other. A tiktok shop hesitation, a free croissant from Starbucks, plus a Pinkberry Rite/Aid dissertation. Typing this having read 46 books last year and sans a shred of jewelry, you'll understand soon enough.
Sourcreamless Latke Bite 12.12.2023 39:02
I've recovered from an illness just in time to enjoy the exotic festivities of Hanukkah as well as partake in an unhinged bagel exchange whilst knee deep into a migraine. The aforementioned carbohydrates undoubtedly gave me the fuel I needed to cover such topics as: Going to a party alone, a candle miscalculation, and a vicious tirade against footnotes and technology. They say people start sl...
An Ode To Zelle 28.11.2023 34:36
Sipping a glass of frothy chocolate milk, as I put the finishing touches on episode 140, in which Black Friday is ripped to shreds, my digital vision board is live, a sub par Thanksgiving salad plus "the vanilla to end all vanillas." Don't fight it.
A Pre Thanksgiving Offer 21.11.2023 22:32
What am I grateful for? Well, let's see... I'm grateful to be celebrating my one year Duolingo anniversary, I'm grateful for the woman at the grocery store who was on my level, and I'm grateful for my hair length epiphany. What I'm not grateful for is the fact that I was never a camp counselor, that I don't actively own a clipboard, and Nikola Jokic being ejected befo...
48 Days and 48 Nights 14.11.2023 27:16
By the time you read this there will be 47 days left in the calendar year, and unlike Marie Condo, we're not jumping ship. Rather, we're emulating the Nuggets in their jaw dropping win over the New Orleans Pelicans last week. If the Pelicans weren't on the endangered species list, they're all but extinct now. Typing this with the freshest hair trim this side of the Mississippi....
A Pack of Dolphins Etc. 07.11.2023 28:58
Halloween etiquette, a car wash, a dog at the door, a fabric shaver, John Steinbeck, dolphins, turtles and my dad's Barnes and Noble gift card... which of these things don't belong? Trick question, they all do, to episode 137. Enjoy.
COMPOSED - Trailer 06.11.2023 0:59
Comedian Chase Bernstein tackles the minutiae of everyday life in a stream of consciousness filled with humor, observation and a splash of rage. While we love to think life is defined by the big events, ultimately it's the trips to CVS, Trader Joe's, and the special yet forgotten interactions in between that comprise our days. Chase is here to celebrate the subtleties through a genuine a...
Classic Nightmare 31.10.2023 29:20
This week's installment was recorded with extra eyelashes from my sister's wedding, a place where my mom lost an earring... or did she? All this plus, doing things poolside, nightmares and corn pancakes. Honestly unreal I'm still recording episodes.
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