Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved One's Recovery from Addiction & Mental Illness

What are the obstacles between knowing what to do and putting that knowledge into real practice? In part 1, our hosts focus on  avoiding a "crisis" response, and slowing events down to avoid being reactive.

Laurie and Kayla discuss change -- how to manage it, how quickly it can or can't happen, and how to focus your efforts.

An overview of the first twelve weeks of CRAFT, discussing what it can accomplish quickly, and what becomes a lifetime practice.

So what are boundaries, really? Who are they really for, and how do you use them well?

How do you address conflict? The Allies' team discusses several important de-escalation techniques to use when you're faced with an emerging conflict. 

Dominique tells the story of a dad who sees his son's truck at a saloon. Not wanting the son to drive home intoxicated, dad uses an extra key to drive the truck home, parking it a block away. The son returns home intoxicated, ranting about his "stolen truck."  Dad stays silent while the son calls the police. They arrive and the intoxicated son rages. Dad tells police (but not the son) wh...

A continued discussion of families and treatment. Part one examined how the family can affect treatment and  vice-versa. Part two looks at the overall idea: taking care of yourself and observing your own boundaries, while asking how you might best add to treatment.

Laurie, Dominique, and Kayla discuss ideas about families and treatment, focusing particularly on how the family can affect treatment -- and vice-versa -- in part one of this two-part episode.

A continued discussion of the CRAFT model in romantic relationships. In part 2, our hosts talk about practicing and using the tools of CRAFT in difficult moments to address not you  loved one's substance use, but the relationship-affecting behavior that happens with substance use.

How does the CRAFT model work in romantic relationships? In part one, our hosts say our job as loved ones is to get our  own needs met. First, we must figure out those needs and what we can do to meet them, then ask for help from our loved ones in specific, measurable ways.

What are the challenges of releasing yourself from feeling responsible for your loved one's behavior, as their parent or family member? This involves recognizing yourself as your own person, and allowing them the respect and dignity of having their own process.

Our hosts discuss the individual nature of the  term "recovery." They look at recovery as an evolution involving growth,  change, finding meaning, and finding ease. They say the best plan is to  respect people's processes, plant seeds when you can, and stay  interested in how your loved one defines the process for themselves.

A look at CRAFT as the beginning of  treatment – as connection, openness, curiosity, and modeling change. Our hosts advocate focusing not on what your loved one does, but on case management, on researching available options to present when the time is  right. That leaves you free to work on changing the dynamic and going for connection.

Guest Dr. Carl Erik Fisher talks about the historical context of addiction and approaches to treatment, the subject of his new book, The Urge.

How do you "reframe" bad  situations? What does it means to reframe in a realistic, not idealistic way?

How do you handle the difficulties of giving advice? Our hosts discuss the best ways to approach such conversations -- including simply listening.

There's power in patience and a more passive, accepting approach to helping your loved one walk their own path of recovery. Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more @ alliesinrecovery.net

What can we control? When we set boundaries, what happens for us and our loved one? Our hosts point out that change requires patience, time, and more patience. Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in  Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue  with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more @ alliesinrecover...

Dominique and Kayla discuss finding common ground with your loved one -- or anyone else -- on seemingly intractable issues. Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in  Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue  with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more @ alliesinrecovery.net

How do you release the trauma that can affect families and loved ones, and learn new habits over time? Our hosts take a deeper dive. Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including eight video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more @ alliesinrecovery.net

In times of conflict, any interaction with your loved one -- positive or negative -- can reinforce using behavior. Our hosts discuss how the CRAFT process of simply removing yourself from the situation can create a paradigm shift in the relationship. Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and  dialog...

How do you communicate with your loved one in a way that is helpful for everyone? By becoming a "positivity detective." Our hosts dispel the myths of confrontation, detachment, and tough love, explaining how these approaches can damage the relationship and cause you to miss opportunities to encourage recovery. Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in...

How important is it to know for certain whether your loved one is using? The greatest value comes in following your instincts, rewarding your loved one's positive behavior and removing rewards when you suspect use, rather than getting caught up in finding the evidence. Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dia...

Our hosts discuss a family struggling with alcohol use and mental health disorders, accompanied by concern over the children's well-being. Dominique cautions about when and how to intervene, the consequences of involving the authorities, and how the CRAFT approach can help.

How can greater self-awareness and realistic expectations about impacting our loved ones’ behavior allow us to be more “in the game?” As we continue to focus on practice rather than perfection, the tools of CRAFT can change how we feel and interact with our loved ones, gently shifting the dynamic between us over time. Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s progra...