Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved One's Recovery from Addiction & Mental Illness

A basic overview of the CRAFT model for families facing a loved one's addiction -- including how it works, and why it works. In this segment, you will learn how the CRAFT skill set can be applied to any situation. Laurie also shares her personal experience with CRAFT and how it helped to empower her own  family. Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Rec...

What's the impact of substance use and other health challenges on the entire family, particularly when all the attention is focused on one person? This important and often difficult conversation helps alleviate the guilt that parents and other care providers feel about such disparities, and shows us how to be more sensitive to those family members who may appear to be doing just fine. Join our Mem...

How do you approach it when a loved one expresses suicidal thoughts? How do you tell the difference between suicidal ideation and the idea of killing oneself over time through substance use? What opportunities do these conversations afford, and how do you intervene in a way that keeps your loved one safe, while at the same time, fosters connection and supports recovery?  Join our Member Site...

Hosts Laurie, Kayla, and Dominique discuss a foundational part of the  CRAFT model from module 1: working on your own reactions; looking for  positive moments to step in with your loved one, and moments to gently  step away. When your loved one is not high or using, you can engage with  the person rather than the substance. CRAFT is a long-term process, so  allow yourself...

When you want something, how do you request it? Hosts Laurie and Kayla talk about developing a communication style that aims to influence, not control. Influence comes from a softer, more open and compassionate position, and it can change the dynamic of the relationship over time. Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three bl...

How do you decide when and how your loved one can live  at home? Hosts Laurie, Dominique, and Kayla discuss boundary-setting,  and Laurie shares details about her son's journey in living at home. Join  our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s  program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with  experts in the fields of treatment...

In many families, parents of children with substance abuse disorder are taking care of their grandchildren. Hosts Dominique, Laurie, and Kayla and guest Dr. Meme English discuss the complexities of a multigenerational dynamic, intergenerational trauma and substance use, the lack of resources for grandparents, and the need for people to connect to more support in these overwhelming circumstances an...

Addiction specialist Dr. Carl Erik Fisher discusses the effects of stress on the body, and shares some mindfulness techniques that are proven effective. Dr. Fisher and our hosts explain how mindfulness can help families in recovery achieve a sense of agency in their lives by allowing them more control over their emotions. Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of All...

It's important to have a plan for expectations when your loved one is at home, and when they can't stay. Dominique, Laurie, and Kayla discuss the specifics of having a list of treatment and living options ready and waiting. Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in  Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue  with experts in the fields o...

Podcast 84 With your best Allies From Allies in Recovery

In their work with families of addicted loved ones, Kayla and Dominique have observed how certain patterns are mirrored. In a nutshell, our loved ones with SUD become fixated on their substance of choice, and they become compulsive about using it. Over time, the family member often becomes fixated on their addicted loved one, and finds themselves compulsively trying to fix the situation. Knowing t...

(35 min)  Dominique joins Kayla and Laurie and pushes last week's conversation a bit deeper (episode #81). You will hear more concrete examples of how to implement what Laurie calls "the Big Pause" and how to recognize when you're being triggered into a crisis reaction. Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, a...

(29 min)   Kayla and Laurie dive into the issue ' When crisis mode becomes chronic .' They look into WHY you don't want that, including the neuro-science behind it (cortisol levels).  "Fight or flight is an unsustainable state," Kayla points out. If it has become your new normal, know that you're not doing yourself, or your loved one, any favors. Poking fun at her own tendency to wa...

to come(35 min) The family of a loved one using substances often receives discouraging messages like "there's nothing you can do to change things" or "just wait until they hit rock bottom." The CRAFT method flies in the face of those cultural beliefs. At Allies in Recovery, we give families a framework, a toolkit, a system to put in place. Results don't appear overnight, though as our founder, Dom...

When your loved one plays the "Blame" card or shames you or guilts you, what are your options? This topic actually has many more layers than you may think. And yes, there are some concrete and powerful things you can do to deflect the blame or guilt they're trying to send your way. Our hosts explain why the "Blame Game" is actually a very smart and adaptive technique that our loved ones with Subst...

Why all the hubbub about stigmatizing language when it comes to Substance Use?  Is "addiction" a bad word? Laurie MacDougall is author of the article " The Power of Language ," on the Allies in Recovery blog, which explores how removing stigma from the language we use ( ie, Substance Use vs. Substance Abuse ) can have dramatic effects on the care and treatment people receive. Laurie explains...

What does 'Identity' have to do with substance use in the family? Here are a couple examples of how our identity can trip us up: - I'm so enmeshed with my loved one and their substance use that when you ask me how I am, I tell you about how my loved one is doing, or I'm incapable of knowing what I am actually feeling, or I figure, it doesn't really matter. - I may believe that I have the responsib...

How does shame fit in to Substance Use and the family system? We're not talking about the shame you feel when you've done something regrettable, but rather the deeper, internalized belief that so many of us have, that says "There's something wrong with me." Kayla calls it "character assassination". Shame plays a prominent role where substance use has become problematic: the person misusing substan...

A continuation of last week's podcast, we get in depth about the intricacies of dealing with a loved one in a situation of limited connection navigating the realities of the dynamics in how do you communicate and draw a loved one back in and stay connected and draw em back in when theres limited communication or stuck with only text messaging and also what do you do when you finally have that comm...

(34min) CRAFT puts the family in the role of informed shepherd for their Loved One (LO) with Substance Use, and the method was designed for families who have day-to-day interactions with the LO and can use their influence in that framework. But how do you continue the conversation and work the magic of CRAFT if your Loved One is far away, or if you have very minimal contact? Can you rekindle commu...

(39 min)   Following their discussion on Episode #72, Laurie, Kayla and Dominique look at the "First thought, Second Thought" phenomenon, a key topic in Cognitive Behavior Therapy. It's an important one for anyone, but especially for families addressing the needs of a Loved One with addiction and/or trauma. Kayla reminds us that " You are not the center of their universe, even if they lo...

(33 min 45 sec) "How do I calm my system down enough so that I'm not eating and drinking battery acid every day?" or in other words, "How can I go from a reflexive, automatic, unconscious reaction to actually being able to have choice over my reactions?" Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with expe...

(20 min 5 sec) Dominique interviews Annie Highwater on her journey to her current vocation Annie speaks of the feelings of craziness and chaos she grew up in: "When life feels hopeless and you feel like everyone around you is losing their mind... I was so surrounded by it, I never saw a way out!" She speaks of the peer support work she does now, and shares a message of hope that comes from her own...

(24 min 39 sec) Allies Founder & Director, Dominique Simon-Levine, interviews Laurie MacDougall, Allies collaborator and creator of REST educational groups. Dominique was especially interested in what pushed Laurie to leave her former occupation and begin focusing on the work she does today: educating, advocating for, and supporting families affected by Substance Use Disorder.  Lauri...

Learn a magical practice to vastly improve communications with your Loved One with SUD. It's not "talking to" and it's not "just listening" ... but an alchemical mix of the two. If you've ever felt baffled or enraged by communicating with a loved one, you're sure to appreciate this episode. Peer Recovery specialist Laurie MacDougall is joined by Imago Relationsh...