Coming Out Pod

Actor Greg Barnett (Pretty Little Liars; Raising Hope) was born and raised Mormon. Despite having realized he was gay in high school, he still planned to follow "the board game of Mormonism," which meant marrying a woman and having a family the 'traditional' way. Greg describes how he came to choose a different path, and how his relationship to his faith is still evolving. We also deep dive into r...

Ashley Holzer (a teacher's aide and mother of three) came into our lives via the L.A. LGBT Center's Women's Coming Out group, and *wow* is her story incredible. Ashley covers so many important things we had not explored on the pod until now, including parenting, getting sober, divorcing her best friend, grappling with mental health, and enduring loss; ALL while coming to grips with her sexual orie...

South Asian actor/filmmaker Shaan Dasani (Razor Tongue; These/Thems) grew up in North Carolina, and spent his childhood believing that he would grow up to be a man – until puberty hit. In one of our favorite discussions yet, Shaan tells us about the steps he took to try to "be straight," his eventual realization that he was actually transgender, and his present-day experience navigating masculinit...

We finally get to chat with everyone's Fairy Gaymother, Dana Piccoli! Dana is a fixture in queer media, and a writer, host, and frequent moderator at ClexaCon. She talks to us about the "gay wave" that swept her all-girls Catholic prep school, and the pivotal "aha!" moment she had at show choir camp (very on brand for a coming out story). Also: being a late bloomer, and the importance of straight...

Actor/comedian Clayton Farris (American Horror Story; Scream Queens) has always been attracted to men and women, but for the longest time he resisted putting a label to his sexuality. In a hilarious and vulnerable conversation, Clayton details trying on both gay and straight personas, and describes how seeing a "sex therapist to the stars" helped him to finally feel liberated by embracing the "bis...

Puerto Rican actor Vico Ortiz (These/Thems; Jane the Virgin) identifies as a "Latinx, FemBoi, non-binary, genderfluid queerdo." But above all, they are CHARMING AF! Vico talks about how their desire to emulate their parents' marriage lead them to a very traditional relationship before they realized they were queer (a discovery owed in part to a bartender mentor and Google). Vico also discusses the...

We're taking this week off for the holidays, but in lieu of a full episode today, we've got some exciting news to share! Tune in to hear what we've got coming up in the new year... ;)

Valentina D'Alessandro grew up in a tiny town in Northern Italy where Catholicism was ever-present, and the fact that she wasn't blonde-haired/blue-eyed made her an outsider. Despite losing a close gay family member to the AIDS epidemic when she was a child, Valentina had to carve her own path toward coming out (spoiler: The L Word was involved). She also may have let her first love give her an am...

Writer/comedian Travon Free (The Daily Show; Full Frontal; Showtime's Black Monday) is basically a superhero. He's hilarious, kind, successful, and one of the only out bisexual men in the Hollywood spotlight. Travon tells us about what it was like being (to quote his Twitter bio) "Straightish Outta Compton," and discusses the societal stigmas he has faced as a bisexual man. Also, for some reason,...

Comedian/writer Riley Silverman (Take My Wife) gives us TWO coming out stories for the price of one! First, she talks about how her desire to be more honest in her stand-up gave her the final push to come out as trans. Then, she shares the traumatic event that ultimately prompted her to begin using exclusively female pronouns and start taking hormones. Also discussed: D&D, Ladies '80s dance night,...

Vanessa Hunt is a theater-maker and listener of the pod from Utah who visits LA as much as she can, in large part for the queer community to be found here. Vanessa graciously popped by on her last LA gaycation to talk to us about growing up Mormon in a small town, trying to reconcile her own feelings with her faith's views on sexuality, and eventually getting to the point where she could finally b...

THIS EPISODE IS SO COOL! Susan SurfTone is a retro rock musician/political writer, and a former FBI agent turned NYPD attorney. Some of the freaking incredible things she talks to us about include being at Smith College the year that "everybody came out," what it was like to be a rocker in NYC in the late '80s, her conversations with the first person to throw a punch at Stonewall, and the time And...

It's a special UK edition of the pod when Nicole and guest co-host Mandahla Rose (Episode 11) bring you a series of mini-interviews from the floor of ClexaCon London! Listen to coming out stories from across the globe recorded live at the world's largest multi-fandom event for LGBTQ women and allies. (Lauren isn't in this episode because she wasn't at ClexaCon, but she DEFINITELY ISN'T JEALOUS AT...

In our very first Skype episode, we call the faraway land of Canada to talk to Carmilla star NATASHA NEGOVANLIS! Natasha tells us all about Freelancers Anonymous, her latest female-centric movie that she says felt like "going to summer camp." We also discuss the benefits of having a Fairy Gaymother; plus, Natasha describes a poignant moment she had while filling out a census, and shares the story...

Actor/singer/dancer Cloie Wyatt Taylor (Hulu's Future Man; Crazy Ex-Girlfriend) is our first-ever guest to bring a cocktail into the closet, and the result is our most hilariously candid episode yet! We discuss orgasms, gender presentation pitfalls within the lesbian community, and more; plus, listen in real time as Cloie reveals something that makes Lauren LEGIT blush... Learn all about Cloie at ...

Singer-songwriter Rachael Cantu grew up in Orange County, California ("very conservative; very white; very Christian"), and it took a fated encounter at her local record store to make her realize she might not fit the OC mold. Today, she's married to a woman and tours with Tegan and Sara TALK ABOUT A GLOW-UP!!! Rachael tracks this journey with us, and also speaks honestly about the constant push-a...

YouTuber Stevie Boebi (creator and host of the first ever Lesbian Sex Ed video series) reveals the never-before-heard story of her coming out! She talks to us about being told "you're too pretty to be gay," accidentally adopting the male gaze, and how she ultimately decided to make the kind of videos she wishes she'd had when she was younger. (This episode is not sponsored by the American Dental A...

Theatre artist Ramy El-Etreby (solo show/short story "The Ride") grew up in a conservative Muslim household. He tells us the incredible story of how he made a spur of the moment decision to come out in a very public way, and how that affected his relationship with his family, his community, and his faith. In his own words: "I don't think I anticipated the shitshow being as shitty." Follow Ramy on...

We put a spin on our usual format when Nicole's mom, Karen, tells a coming out story from a parent's POV. Back in Episode 1, Nicole spoke candidly about her mother's reaction to her coming out as bisexual 17 years ago. This week, Karen is equally open and honest in talking about what the experience felt like on her end at that time, and how she evolved to where she is today. Karen Pacent is a cert...

We're celebrating Bisexual Awareness Week with author and comedian Sara Benincasa ("Real Artists Have Day Jobs;" the queer YA novel "Great"), who has the funniest coming out story we've heard so far! She talks to us about Catholic indoctrination, Queer Twitter, and what it's like to be bisexual on dating apps. Plus, we fangirl over Nicole's SUPER-CUTE HUSBAND OMG!!! Follow @SaraJBenincasa on Twitt...

This is a difficult but important one. A.J. Salas, a Latinx writer/performance artist, was raised as a Jehovah's Witness, and experienced some of the worst things associated with growing up gay in a religion that considers homosexuality a sin. He speaks to us candidly about what he's endured, and how he's managed to emerge from it all as a confident, happy adult. You can follow A.J. on Instagram a...

This week we are joined by Leigh Holmes Foster, co-host of fellow queer podcast Lez Hang Out! Leigh tells us about the "shitshow of emotions and hormones and confusion and stuff" that she tried to hide under a facade of normalcy throughout much of high school before coming out. Also: LiveJournal, Xena, Buffy, AIM, Brad Pitt, prom, and crushing on your straight best friend. You know; the basics. Fi...

Comedian AB Cassidy (This Is Us, "Lez Bomb;" pronouns: they/them) takes us on a hilarious and heartwarming ride that includes secretly applying to boarding schools and becoming “the King of Fat Camp” – and that only takes us up through age 16! They also talk to us about just recently learning to embrace the fact that they’re genderfluid, an identity that is still evolving for them. All this; plus,...

It’s a Very Special Episode as we’re joined by THE FIRST PERSON LAUREN EVER CAME OUT TO! Kieran Smiley (a construction manager/Lauren’s BFF from high school; see Ep 1) grew up the youngest of five boys in a Catholic, mostly-military household. He talks to us about grappling with his sexuality amidst ever-present machismo, working in a heteronormative industry, and how his father came to accept him...

Australian actress Mandahla Rose (All About E; Forever Not Maybe) had no idea she was gay until her mid-twenties, but once she knew, she KNEW! It gets hotter than usual in the closet this week as we talk first kisses, first hook-ups, and where to find the most authentic lesbian porn. Oh, and did we mention Mandahla was raised by nuns? This girl is FULL of surprises. P.S. #sorrynotsorry for the sex...