Come As You Are Podcast

A talk about the stories we share, the ones we tell ourselves, and the ones we’ll never know because we took a left instead of a right. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit allyhamilton.yogisanonymous.com/subscribe

A talk about not taking things personally. It’s really hard when people we care about - or even people we don’t know at all - behave in ways that are deeply confusing, hurtful, thoughtless, surprising or lacking in empathy. It can feel like some kind of reflection on us, especially if we’re talking about betrayal or rejection. If you struggle with this (and who doesn’t sometimes), the tale of the...

A talk about learning to take up space in a world that teaches you to be small, to second-guess yourself, to get everything right, and to question your value as a whole human being, worthy of respect, rights, consideration and kindness. Topics include the high cost of perfectionism, complicated mother-daughter relationships, the pain of a loud inner critic, and a path toward self-compassion. They...

This is a talk about making friends with uncertainty. There’s no easy way to ride this ride if you can’t accept that part of being human is being vulnerable. Loving people means you are opening your heart as wide as it will go, knowing that you don’t know all the parameters. You don’t know how long you have, or how long anyone else has here on this spinning planet. Grief is baked into the mix, alo...

A talk about grief, loss, change, motherhood, the sandwich generation, the absolutely emotional milestone of dropping your kid off at college, and the very tumultuous political landscape we’re all navigating in the U.S. right now. Also a talk about things we learned in the sandbox, and why we really need to get back to something that is sane and decent, and remember we are all neighbors on a spinn...

A talk about love, loss and vulnerability. Seasons change, relationships change, people change - change is the one constant. It makes sense to think about your response to the ever-shifting ground underneath your feet, and the way you’re riding this ride. Are you trying to grip the steering wheel, or are you able to keep your mind, heart and hands open - and let things flow? This is a talk about g...

A talk about the state of the world for girls and women, growing up in a patriarchy, messages we absorb from the water we’re swimming in, male violence, assault, misogyny, sexual harassment, the male gaze, objectification, sexism - and the frustration of having to hurry and say “not all men” because of course not all men. But way too many of them. And we need them in the conversation. Thanks for r...

A talk about grief, loss, child loss, school shootings, gun violence, violence generally, the cancer of rampant self-interest, the pain, rage and despair of having school-age children in this environment, vulnerability, mortality, the patriarchy, intersectional feminism, democracy - and how we can try to make this world a more compassionate, sane, peaceful place with the 80-100 years we’ve got. No...

Do you ever go to the wrong people looking for things you know they can’t or won’t give you? Things like approval, affection, acknowledgement - or an apology if the situation warrants one? That’s called “going to the hardware store for apples” - a phrase I heard in an Al-Anon meeting when I was seventeen. It’s a fruitless endeavor to seek compassion from people who don’t feel empathy, whatever the...

A talk about perspective. We all see the world from our own personal vantage point, based on our own frame of reference. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking what’s obvious to me will be obvious to anyone else looking out at the world. When I get in my car after my son has driven it, I have to move the seat forward and adjust all the mirrors because he’s a lot taller than I am, and literall...

A talk about intense pain, but also the feeling of incredible, joyous relief when pain releases its grip on us. This topic was brought on by a migraine, but it also applies to heartbreak, grief and rage. It’s exhausting to be in a conversation about a woman’s worth in 2024. It’s enraging to see women and girls in so many states having their lives put in peril. It is not right that we’re having to...

A talk about growing up as a girl and then a woman in a culture where violence against girls and women is so prevalent it’s normalized, and perpetrators are often given more consideration than the people they’ve hurt. “It Doesn’t Matter” is my answer to the questions: What was she wearing? How much had she had to drink? What was her sexual history? and also - What about his promising future? This...

A talk about growing up as a girl and then a woman in a culture that teaches you to devalue women and girls, to accept that you are an object and that your value is determined by the way men perceive you, to accept that men will do what they do and take what they want, and you are only safe if a man decides you are safe, to deal with any confusion or rage about this on your own…and why we need to...

A talk about internalized misogyny, the patriarchy, the culture and what it teaches us about our worth as girls and women, sexual assault, the power of childless cat ladies, healthcare autonomy, the current election in the U.S. - and why so many things need to change, now. If you have small children, this is not an episode to listen to if they’re within earshot. This is a public episode. If you'd...

A talk about the difference between choosing to make yourself vulnerable, and having your vulnerability thrust upon you. Topics include a food poisoning episode complete with public mortification, Linda Blair, and the current political environment in the U.S. which is very much like dealing with food you wish you’d never eaten. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other sub...

This is a talk about the pain, confusion and grief of growing up with a mother who struggles to mother you, for any number of reasons. It’s also about the secrets we keep, the way shame can convince you you aren’t lovable - and the people who teach you nothing could be further from the truth. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus epis...

This is a talk about the relief that comes with seeing things as they are, instead of clinging to a version of reality we wish was unfolding. Sometimes we work really hard not to see the truth of our own feelings, or the truth of someone else’s feelings or the situation we’re in, because if we see it, things will have to change or we will have to change, or maybe we’re walking straight into heartb...

A talk about grief, loss, panic attacks, the illusion of control, traveling into the future, past and present all at once, the space time continuum, and how sometimes letting go is the only way to ride the ride. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit allyhamilton.yogisanonymous.com/subscribe

A talk about endings, abandonment issues, attachment styles, not asking other people to carry our baggage, and why it’s okay to hate goodbyes as long as you work on the rest of it! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit allyhamilton.yogisanonymous.com/subscribe

This is a talk about the big transitions in life. We can all get focused on the destination, but sometimes the shore in front of us isn’t clear, and the task is to swim in the waters of uncertainty for a while. You can tread water, swim against the current and exhaust yourself, or move with it and let things flow, trusting you’ll land on solid ground eventually. Asking yourself the right questions...

A talk about those “nothing” moments that are really everything, meeting love wherever you find it, allowing yourself to feel joy, grief, longing, gratitude, vulnerability, and fragility all at once, and recognizing if you want steadiness in life, you have to find it inside yourself. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, vis...

A talk about empathy -which, by definition - flows freely in all directions. A conversation about binary thinking, the danger of dehumanizing those who disagree with us, and where we might be at war within ourselves, since outward violence is a reflection of inward pain. Thank you for listening to Come As You Are. This post is public so feel free to share it. This is a public episode. If you'd lik...

A talk about the high cost of "othering" people, and the pain and exhaustion of swimming in rage-filled water, which is daily life right now. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit allyhamilton.yogisanonymous.com/subscribe

A talk about cognitive dissonance and the painful toll it takes. When we feel one way but act another for any number of reasons, when we know something is very wrong but are asked to go about our days like everything is normal, when we can no longer have nuanced conversation or express our heartache openly, the result is despair, confusion, depression, anxiety, overwhelm and loneliness. What's the...

Today’s talk is for anyone who’s ever been in a relationship where you had to walk on eggshells, read the room, and make yourself small. It’s for anyone who ever hated themselves for not leaving, or not leaving sooner. It’s about the root cause of what makes us stay when we know we should go. It’s also for anyone with complicated maternal bonds who might feel the reverberations around Mother’s Day...