Cold and Blue

Thank you so much for listening.  Support the show Special thanks to Jamie for her assistance in retrieving records, to Kate for her investigative insight, and to Dale for helping fill in important missing pieces. Cold & Blue is written and produced by Chelsea, with executive production by Lisa Sydney. To read the companion article and access documents, photos, and additional materials directl...

Content note: this episode discusses severe child abuse, trauma, and grief. Adult language is also used. If you’d like to read the written version of this episode and see the documents, photos, and materials connected to it, you can subscribe to Cold and Blue on Substack . That’s where I’ll be sharing the deeper written pieces and the supporting evidence behind each episode. If you suspect a child...

CONTENT WARNING + DISCLAIMER Before we begin, a content warning. This episode discusses suicide, overdose, infidelity, child abuse, child neglect]. If any of that is hard for you to hear, take care of yourself however you need to. If you’re struggling, you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, any time, day or night. Everything I say in this episode is my opinion and inter...

Content Warning: This episode includes difficult conversations about child neglect, postpartum depression, and possible attempted matricide. Please take care while listening. Listener Note : If you or someone you know is struggling with postpartum depression, you can call or text the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA / 1-833-852-6262 for free, confidential, 24/7 support. Sp...

This episode contains discussions of child abuse, foster care abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, self harm, suicidal thoughts, adoption trauma, and the death of a parent. Please take care of yourself while listening. If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm, suicidal thoughts, or emotional crisis, in the United States and Canada you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide &...

Content Warning: This episode contains discussion of childhood sexual abuse, physical abuse, and emotional neglect. Please Take of yourself while listening. A note before you listen — this episode was originally recorded differently. This week someone came out of the woodwork to remind me of my place. To question why I had gone no contact. To perform hurt about being disregarded. It sparked someth...

When I was in school I got in trouble for something stupid. I handed my dad the letter and he held it for a minute, looking at me. I braced for my punishment. Instead he handed it straight back to me — unopened — and said: “I know that whatever it says in here is not who you are. And I know you can do better.” That is my dad in one moment. He didn’t need to open it because he already knew me. That...

A NOTE BEFORE WE BEGIN I am not writing this to upset anyone. You have a choice whether you read it or not. I want to be clear about that before we go any further. All of this is my experience, my views, my truth. For my entire life my story has been told for me. Rewritten. Pages removed. In some cases whole chapters. My story went like this: “My mom was really sick, and she died when I was two. M...