Coffee and Coaching

One hot Texas afternoon, four people climbed into a car with no air conditioning and drove 85 km to Abilene for dinner. The drive was brutal. The food was bad. They came home exhausted. Not one of them had wanted to go. THE STORY BEHIND THE PARADOX Jerry B. Harvey, professor of management science at George Washington University, told this story about his own family in his 1974 paper "The Abil...

Last week Bernhard claimed you don't need to be friends to be a high-performing team. Then he found a study that, at first read, said he was wrong. Was he? THE HARDEST POSSIBLE TEST A string quartet is the purest intense work group that exists. Four people, completely interdependent, who cannot produce a single bar alone. They rehearse six hours a day, tour together, sit beside the same three...

Flutist Agnes Vass asked Bernhard a question: what if you applied the Fifth Stage of psychological safety to an orchestra? It turns out an orchestra is one of the best models we have for how high-performing teams work. (With thanks to Agnes Vass, co-principal flute at the Bremerhaven Philharmonic and founder of the Body Mind Music Lab.) WHY ORCHESTRAS? Peter Drucker used orchestras constantly as a...

Last week: Timothy Clark's four stages of psychological safety. This week: what they're missing. Most teams that believe they have psychological safety are stuck in a place where everything looks safe but nothing moves. TWO DIMENSIONS, NOT ONE Psychological safety has two distinct dimensions. Most frameworks address only one. Relational safety: How safe do team members feel with each other...

So much has been written about psychological safety. This is a different angle—practical, tool-driven, and building toward something new. Amy Edmondson gave us the concept. Timothy Clark made it practical with four stages. Bernhard walks through all four—and the tools to actually build them—before introducing his own fifth stage next week. STAGE 1 — INCLUSION SAFETY Do people feel they belong? It...

What should I wear today? Coffee or tea? Espresso or cappuccino? Work from home or go to the office? Our days are filled with questions. "And one observation I made—with my clients, but also with myself—was that I increasingly use AI chatbots to get a decision. So I don't need to think." THE STORY OF CROESUS: Sixth century BC. The kingdom of Lydia. King Croesus, wealthy enough that 2...

You prompt an AI agent. The spinner starts. 30 seconds. A minute. Three minutes. What do you do in that time? "To be honest, I switch to another task. Then a third. Then I check email. By the time the agent finishes, I've forgotten why I prompted it. It's a nightmare." FRAME 1 — CSIKSZENTMIHALYI: ATTENTION AS PSYCHIC ENERGY Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Flow (1990). Attention is psych...

Can artificial intelligence bring us closer together as humans? It sounds contradictory. But last week in Budapest, 18 young consultants from an international strategy firm proved that it can. THE SETTING: Advanced consulting skills training. 18 consultants, late 20s, two years experience. They know analysis, structuring, presentations. "But what does really matter in consulting, especially i...

A student sexually harassed an AI character on RolePlays.ai. In a classroom. With 30 other students present. Then it happened again with another user. The question Bernhard kept coming back to wasn't technical. It was ethical. Does it matter how we treat machines? And if so, why? FRAME 1 — ARISTOTLE: THE HABITUATION ARGUMENT The strongest case against harassing an AI has nothing to do with the...

Host: Bernhard Kerres | Guest: David Martin Holte (Strategy&) | Duration: ~48 minutes Three weeks ago, an AI agent hacked McKinsey's internal platform in two hours. 46 million chat messages. 728,000 files. The system prompts were writable. The vulnerability? A bug from the 1990s. THE QUESTION THAT OPENS EVERYTHING: "Which LLM did you use to prepare for our interview today?" David...

Host: Bernhard Kerres | Duration: ~12 minutes Ta da da dum. That's Beethoven's 5th. Everyone knows it. But have you ever conducted it? THE WORKSHOP: German bank. 10 executives. 4 musicians. Each executive conducted the opening of Beethoven's 5th. Far outside their comfort zone—standing in front of colleagues and strangers, doing something they'd never done. Result: Every person did...

Host: Bernhard Kerres | Duration: ~13 minutes "What I think, I become. What I become, I radiate. What I radiate, I attract." A coffee conversation about energy—the energy we radiate and what it does to our surroundings. Connects to last episode: We need empty space to recharge the energy we then radiate. THE QUESTION: How often do we bring real energy when it matters? In the meetings tha...

A white canvas. One black line. Nothing else. This is Bernhard's favorite painting—by German artist Lilo Rinkens—a meditation on the empty space. THE QUESTION: AI and digital tools encroach on every moment. Phones are with us constantly. What do we need to counter that? The empty space. THE LILO RINKENS PAINTING: German painter. Large white canvas. One black line. Bernhard discovered her at Bo...

50,000 lines of code. Four months. Part-time. In the evenings. Normally takes 12-18 months full-time. Bernhard isn't a coder. But he built RolePlays. AI anyway—using AI. You have 12 months before corporates catch up. CREATIVE TIME BLOCKS: Bernhard blocks 1 week every 2 months for creative time. No plan, no judgment. Summer 2025: Coaching book idea → Lovable discovery → Coach Bernhard (built in...

Your smartwatch has more computing power than NASA used to put a man on the moon. Let that sink in. This episode is about what happens when computing power becomes essentially free—and why that's both terrifying and liberating. THE JEVONS PARADOX (1865): British economist William Stanley Jevons observed something counterintuitive: When steam engines became MORE efficient, Britain's coal co...

I love building AI tools. But I'm worried we're forgetting how to connect on a human level. This episode is about presence, encounter, and why most leaders never practice the skill that matters most. THE 20:20:20 RULE (from Jacob Barnes / Simple Revolution ): First 20 steps: How you enter the room. Bernhard practices his keynote entrances—wooden floor? Squeaky? How does it sound? Enter wit...

In this episode, Bernhard Kerres shares insights from an unexpected meeting with 30-40 banking executives who just completed an orchestra leadership workshop. Their biggest takeaway? Even world-class musicians practice daily —but leaders rarely rehearse difficult conversations. Plus: Why the PR2 Framework matters, what to do when your opera co-star doesn't sing her lines, and why AI can't...

#Roleplace.ai, #coaching, #AI, #difficultconversations, #entrepreneurship, #personalgrowth, #consulting, #leadership, #feedback, #technology In this episode of Coffee & Coaching, Bernhard Kerres discusses his journey in creating ⁠ RolePlays.ai ⁠ , a platform designed to help individuals practice difficult conversations using AI personas. He reflects on his diverse career, the challenges of sca...

Key Topics: - Bernhard's California first date disaster - Arthur Aron's 36 Questions to Fall in Love - Why first date skills = leadership conversation skills - Meet Marcus (guarded divorcé) and Maya (curious nomad) - The verdict: Would they want a second date with you? Key Insights: - A first date is really just one question: Can we have a real conversation? - Most people fail first dates...

In this episode, Bernhard Kerres discusses the challenges and importance of effective conversations in the implementation of OKRs (Objectives and Key Results). He reflects on his experiences as a CEO and coach, emphasizing that the failure of OKRs often stems from inadequate conversations between managers and their teams. The episode highlights the need for practice in these conversations to ensur...

In this episode of Coffee & Coaching, Bernhard Kerres discusses the impact of AI on our lives and the importance of integrating technology into education and coaching. He emphasizes the need to embrace technology, particularly AI, as a tool for accessing knowledge and enhancing our daily lives. Bernhard also highlights the unique human ability to think outside the box and the role of music and...

In this episode of Coffee & Coaching , Bernhard Kerres explores the use of AI in coaching, highlighting his own tool, Coach Bernhard. He underscores the significance of maintaining high-quality AI responses by using content derived from his personal coaching resources. Bernhard critiques generic AI tools for often providing subpar information and argues for adopting specialized AI applications...

In this conversation, Bernhard Kerres explores the intersection of creativity, leadership, and artificial intelligence through the lens of Mozart's work. He emphasizes that while AI can enhance efficiency and mimic creativity, it lacks the human elements of passion, emotion, and purpose that drive true innovation. By drawing parallels between Mozart's creative process and modern leadership...

In this engaging conversation, Ama Duncan shares her journey from the hospitality industry to becoming a coach and the founder of the Fabulous Woman Network . She discusses the challenges faced by female entrepreneurs in Ghana, the cultural influences that drive women's entrepreneurship, and the impact of coaching on personal growth. Ama emphasizes the importance of asking powerful questions a...

In this conversation, Bernhard Kerres and Richard Bentley explore the transformative journey of coaching, discussing the shift from giving advice to fostering a listening environment. Richard shares his personal experiences, the importance of accreditation, and the role of coaching in leadership. They delve into the significance of empathy, the power of reflection, and the privilege of being a coa...