Clutch My Pearls

Come celebrate Emily’s birthday with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “A Deal with the Devil” by Elizabeth O’Roark! This is book #1 in The Grumpy Devils series (The Girls covered book #3 of this series in Episode 28!) When Natalie (Tali, or Lady Di for short) gets an offer from her friend to leave her Margaritaville job and fill in as a personal assistant to handsome plastic surgeon Haye...

Come watch fireworks with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “The Fine Print” by Lauren Asher! This is book one in the Dreamland Billionaires series and it had the girls kicking their little feet! When busy business boy Rowan’s grandpa (Walt Disney) dies, he must bring up profits for Dreamland (Disneyland) in order to get his inheritance. Thankfully there’s a spunky, smartie, cutie named Z...

Come under the sea with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Whispers of the Deep” by Emma Hamm. As one of many engineers, Mira has been a woman in STEM keeping her underwater city in working order. When she has a run in with a scary merman, Arges, who is determined to kill humans, something between them compels him to keep her alive. Arges not only keeps her alive, he makes her his love. E...

Come enroll with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Zodiac Academy” by Caroline Peckham and Susanne Valenti! This dark academia romance is just one in a long series of the same name. In this book, we meet twins Darcy and Tory Vega who learn they’re the Gemini twins of Fae Origin (?) and off to Zodiac Academy they go! Once they arrive, their immense powers are realized, and even though the...

Come braid hair with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Cleat Cute” by Meryl Wilsner! This sapphic rivals to lovers novel follows Grace Henderson and Phoebe Matthews as they attend training for the US National Women’s Soccer Team…or are they in New Orleans on the pro team…maybe the club team? Don’t worry, Barbara gives a full and detailed description of the different levels of soccer team...

Come for a ride with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Passenger Princess” by Morgan Elizabeth! This grumpy/sunshine book follows Ava, who enters the Miss Americana beauty pageant on a whim to support her friends. Ava (Miss New Jersey) actually wins the grand title, much to the frustration of Miss Utah! Ava is assigned a big, handsome bodyguard named Jaime who has to protect Ava not only...

Come skiing with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Can I Tell You Something?” by Holly June Smith! This snowy love story follows Hannah as she goes on her family’s annual Christmas ski trip at a French chalet. This year, her brother brings a friend named Cameron with a familiar voice…Hannah instantly recognizes Cameron as her favorite audio erotica narrator! Unfortunately it’s too late f...

Come get cozy with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Whispers of December” by Maisie Myers. This forced-proximity one-bed novella follows our FMC December who is trying to heal her broken heart at her Grandpa’s cabin in the woods. December’s peace and quiet is busted by Paxton Rhodes, whose car broke down in the snow with no way to get a tow. Once December feels him up and realizes ...

Come get the band back together with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Wreck The Halls” by Tessa Bailey! This holiday romance follows Melody and Beat (yes his name is BEAT) who are both the children of rockstars who swore they would never play together again. When approached by a reality show to get the duo to come together and play for one night only, Beat (BEAT) knows he will need Melo...

Come compete for Christmas with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “How My Neighbor Stole Christmas” by Meghan Quinn! When Storee Taylor comes back to Kringletown (not Whoville, but not not Whoville) to visit her Aunt Cindy (not Cindy Lou Hou, but not not Cindy Lou Hou) she is reunited with former friend Cole Black. It’s Aunt Cindy’s dying wish to win the town’s Kringle competiti...

Come open your box with The Girls! This week Barbara is giving the gift of two books! First is the 8 page novella “Milked by Santa Clause” by CA Carbury. When sexy, Christmas-loving Mindy is visited by hot Santa, he’s ready to eat her cookies, but Mindy doesn’t have any milk! Thanks to Santa’s Christmas bifurcating magic she can make some herself! Drink up! Our second novella is “Sentient Menorah...

Come scroll for thirst traps with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting Lights Out by Navessa Allen! When busy ER babe Ali comes across masked hottie ‘The Faceless Man’ on TikTok, she does what any gal would do: she likes, subscribes and comments! Little does Ali know, the masked hottie is actually her friend’s roommate, Josh! Josh decides to have some fun with Ali before she figures out who’...

Come sleep on the sofa with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Guarding Temptation” by Talia Hibbert! After an educational update on Blue Eyed Kayla Jade, the girls eventually get to the book! Guarding Temptation follows investigative journalist Nina Chapman who is having to hide out from angry Brexit supporters with the only man she feels safe with - her brother’s best friend! James Fost...

Come confess your sins with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Priest” by Sierra Simone! This sinful book follows Poppy as she moves to a small town to get away from her troubling past. When she turns to God for clarity, she meets hot priest Tyler Bell. As Poppy’s confessions to Father Bell get more steamy, the tension between them grows until they can’t handle it! They have no choice but...

Come take a limo ride with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “King of Wrath” by Ana Huang! This is book 1 in the Kings of Sin series and there is plenty of sin! When busy business billionaire Dante Russo is blackmailed into an arranged marriage to mega babe Vivian Lau, stars collide and diamonds sparkle! This book had the girls slipping out of their seats, pointing their little toes, and...

Come enjoy some ice cream with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Butcher & Blackbird” by Brynne Weaver! This dark romance features Sloane and Rowan who are rival murderers. But don’t worry, they only kill bad people! When they decide to join forces for a friendly competition, things get VERY friendly. This book has it all! Mummy mommy issues, delicious rump roast, anatomy class, and...

You’re invited to Barbara’s Dino birthday party with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Triceratops and Bottoms” by Lola Faust! When super horned up sex addict Erin gets bored with what the alien future has to offer, she travels back in time to have her needs met! Unfortunately Erin couldn’t go back to WW1 trench foot times, so she goes to the original Jurassic Park! Once there she lays e...

Come celebrate the one year anniversary of the podcast with The Girls! Our first episode came out one year ago, and to celebrate, Emily and Vanessa birthday blindside Barbara! Emily (yes, Emily) is presenting her very first book: “Icebreaker” by Hannah Grace! When bossy figure skater Anastasia Allen is forced to share a skating rink with cinnamon roll hockey player Nate Hawkins, things get so hot...

Come pump gas with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Reckless”, the fourth book from the Chestnut Springs series by Elsie Silver! This book follows Winter as she comes to Chestnut Springs to reconcile with her sister Summer (from book 1 and Episode 25). Just as she is getting into town, she meets hunky bull rider Theo, who manages to tell her he’s got a “small one” in their first meeting...

Come stretch out your groin with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Play Along”, the fourth book from The Windy City series by Liz Tomforde! When hottie shortstop Isaiah talks to PT cutie Kennedy K in the bathroom, he is suddenly sooo obsessed with her. But they work together which is soooo forbidden..too bad they just got married in Vegas! Now they must Play Along and fall in love for re...

Come say “yes sir” with The Girls! From The Salacious Players Club series, Vanessa is presenting “Praise” by Sarah Cate! When Charlie (Charlotte for short and direct) breaks up with her stupid boyfriend, she has to go collect a rent check from his father, Emerson Grant. Little does she know she’ll be on her hands and knees begging for daddy’s praise. Tune in to see if you can get through the episo...

Come experience a whole new world with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Desperate Measures” from the Wicked Villain series by Katee Robert! This is a totally different interpretation of the Aladdin universe! When Yasmina (not Jasmine, but yes Jasmine) wakes up to the news her dad is dead, she must run with consensual non consent into Jafar’s arms! Although Barbara reminds us not to ask...

Come slam the door with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Unhinged” by Vera Valentine! This book truly lives up to its name and will leave you wondering if your door is a descendent of Zeus! The story is entirely from the door’s POV (yes, it’s a literal DOOR). It’s the door to Tana’s apartment, he’s been keeping an eye on her, and he wants to be her biggest protector. A literal door can...

Come confess your sins with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Sinners Anonymous” by Somme Sketcher. In an effort to save her nature preserve, bird loving Rory (or Aurora for short…) is engaged to a bad bulldog-looking man named Big Al. But as she soon finds out, his hottie nephew Angelo is the one with the real power. Is it too late for her to get out of the marriage? Find out! Oh, and t...

Come save humanity with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting the world premiere of “Celestial Glorbosis: Of Peace and Poimals” by Jace Hammercock. This episode is unique because The Girls are joined by Jace Hammercock (pen name of Geoff Ramsey and Gavin Free from the Regulation Podcast) for an exclusive interview to discuss whatever the hell they’ve written. This 13 page novella that begins...