Clemenz With a ”Z” Podcast

What does it mean to be a man of God and who gets to decide? In this episode, I take a hard look at how churches and Christian influencers are shaping men under the banner of “biblical masculinity.” From warrior sermons to purity culture to performative strength disguised as holiness, we’re naming what’s really going on: cherry-picked verses, selective literalism, and a whole lot of ego. Recorded...

So… yeah. It’s Pride Month. And here I am, a straight, white, former church kid debating whether or not to even say anything. Because let’s be honest: the internet doesn’t need another straight guy weighing in on LGBTQ+ stuff like he’s doing anyone a favor. I didn’t want this to be some performative, “Look at me, I’m a good ally” thing. That’s not what I’m after. That’s never been the point of thi...

What happens when your childhood faith is built in hotel ballrooms, conference centers, and synagogues that weren’t actually yours? In this episode, I take you back into the strange, sacred spaces where I grew up trying to worship, belong, and stay out of trouble (usually). From stuffing my pockets with leftover banquet snacks to watching Beavis and Butthead after Wednesday night devos, this is a...

This episode started with a bench press, outside a church before a father's day service. Yep. That actually happened. But it’s not just about one pastor or one sermon, it’s about the weight men keep being told to carry. In The Weight Was Never Yours, I respond to a Father’s Day message built on fear, performance, and pressure, and explore how that kind of faith doesn’t free men, it breaks them. Th...

What does it mean to be a man in a world built by louder men? In this episode, I wrestle with the emotional weight so many of us carry:  the silence, the shame, the inherited scripts we never asked for. Paying Off the Debt of Idiots? isn’t a lecture on masculinity; it’s a meditation. On what I’ve seen. On what I’ve felt. On what it means to speak honestly in a world that often punishes men for try...

When the Thing Isn’t the Thing (But Still Shapes You) is one of the most personal stories I’ve shared on the podcast. It’s about my journey into teaching—a path I thought was my calling, my purpose, my thing. From college classrooms to student teaching to working in actual schools, I kept telling myself I was where I was supposed to be. I had poured years of my life, money, passion, and heart into...

After sharing the story about my son’s pink sparkly Vans, I thought I was done talking about it—but turns out, I’m not. In this follow-up, I dive deeper into where all this fear around colors and self-expression really comes from. I talk about protection, insecurity, parenting, and the moments that still mess with me as a dad. And yeah, I bring up those pastors and dude bros who keep pushing the s...

In this episode, I’m reflecting on something that’s been stirring in me for a while—the idea that we’re not as important as we think we are. And that’s not a bad thing. I’m talking about the quiet, humbling truth that while we’re not the center of the universe, we’re still part of something much bigger and more beautiful. Drawing from contemplative spirituality, the natural world, and even the tea...

In this episode of Clemenz With a Z, I’m doing something I haven’t done in a while: I’m talking about the good. Specifically, I’m sharing about the camp I grew up going to "The Swamp".  This was the one place in my time in the church that truly felt like a safe space. A place where I was seen and heard, where I could be my weird, creative self without fear. This story isn’t just about camp—it’s ab...

This episode starts with a viral Instagram reel that’s been stuck in my head for days. In it, a pastor watches a video of a mom sharing how her son—just four or five years old—picked out a pink backpack. You hear the dad in the background, upset about it, saying he needs something more “boyish.” The pastor looks at the camera and says, “This is why we need dads.” But what does that really mean? Be...

In this episode of Clemenz With a Z, I take a hard look at how fear-based faith and the obsession with the afterlife can steal the present from us—how it turns life into a constant performance instead of a real, lived experience. Using a gut-punch line from Frank Turner—“If you’re all about the destination, then take a fucking flight”—I unpack how Jesus’ own teachings and presence call us back to...

This is a symbolic story about the faith I inherited, what it gave me, what it took from me, and the weight it carried. Told through the metaphor of a backpack, it reflects the journey of growing up believing I had everything I needed, only to discover that much of what I was carrying wasn’t mine to begin with. At first, the backpack made me feel safe. Certain. Part of something bigger. But as I g...

In this episode of Clemenz With a Z, I sit down with Emma for a powerful conversation in the We Were in a Cult? series. Emma was born into the ICOC—raised as a Kingdom Kid by parents who helped plant churches overseas and in the U.S. For her, the church wasn’t something she joined; it was the world she inherited. We talk about what it means to grow up in a high-control religious environment, how d...

Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussion of sexual trauma, spiritual manipulation, family dynamics, and feelings of violation. Please listen with care. In this powerful and honest conversation, I sit down with Ari, host of The Disallusioned Podcast. Ari shares her journey through two different high-control religious environments—growing up in a strict evangelical space and later becoming...

There’s a verse in Luke where Jesus says, “The kingdom of God is within you.” I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. Not because it’s complicated, but because it’s so simple—and somehow, still so hard to believe. This episode is about that struggle. About what it means to stop chasing something you already have. I talk about rest, about the creation story, about what I learned from The BEM...

For a long time, I thought the Bible was supposed to fix everything. It was the answer key. The rulebook. The voice of God, clear and final. That’s how it was taught to me in the ICOC—the International Churches of Christ—where the Bible wasn’t just important, it was everything. We studied it, memorized it, submitted to it. It was presented as perfect, literal, inerrant—and if your life didn’t matc...

In this episode of Clemenz With a Z, I take you inside a sermon that hit me sideways — one of those messages that sounds “biblical” on the surface, but leaves your gut twisted underneath. The pastor said men and women are “equal… but not equivalent,” and that women were designed by God to be helpers while men hold headship. And that’s where everything started to unravel. I share how that message c...

This episode is another part of the We Were in a Cult? series here on the Clemenz With a "Z" Podcast. I sit down with Eugene, who joined me all the way from Russia to share his story of life inside—and beyond—the International Churches of Christ. In this series, I sit down with former members of the ICOC and ICC to listen to their stories, make sense of what we experienced, and hopefully find some...

Lately, I felt this deep pull to get away—not to escape life, but to find something underneath all the noise. So I packed up and took my first solo trip to a cabin that’s been in my wife’s family for generations, tucked right up against a river. No Wi-Fi. No distractions. Just silence, cold water, firewood, and whatever was waiting for me in the quiet. In this episode, I share what it was like to...

In this episode of Clemenz With a Z, I sit down once again with Alan Allard for a deeper, more honest conversation about the hard work of healing after religious trauma. If you caught our first conversation (EP 126: A Story of Healing with Alan Allard), you know how much insight Alan brings — and this time, we dive even deeper into what it really takes to rebuild your life, your beliefs, and your...

What happens when the people who preach love don’t live it—and the ones you least expect to show up with kindness, do? In this episode, I tell the story of two backstage coffee gigs—one at a major Christian music festival, the other at the Warped Tour—and the surprising lessons they taught me about generosity, humility, and the quiet kind of gospel that doesn’t need a spotlight. It’s not about bas...

In this episode of Clemenz With a Z, I continue my series on idolatry in the church—but this time, I turn the lens toward something that feels almost untouchable: the cross itself. Growing up, the cross was everything—sacred, central, and surrounded by emotion. But lately, I’ve been wrestling with what it’s actually calling us to do. Is it about guilt? Worship? Performance? Or something deeper? Fr...

What happens when a church stops being about community and starts revolving around one man? In this episode of Clemenz With a Z, I continue the “This Was Supposed to Be the Place” series by digging into the idolization of pastors—starting with Kip McKean in the ICOC, and then zooming out to the wider church culture where pastor worship, branding, and platform-building have taken center stage. I re...

In this episode of Clemenz With a Z, I dig into the quiet, heavy weight so many of us carry: the pressure to be who we’re supposed to be. From labels like “gifted” to the roles we’re assigned in school, church, and family, I unpack how early expectations can shape our sense of worth—and how hard it is to break free from the “land of should.” I talk about the pressure to lead, to be the strong one,...

This was supposed to be the place. The place where I’d grow. Where I’d feel safe. Where God would feel close. But somewhere along the way, the church became something else—something heavier. In this episode, I reflect on how the desire for connection slowly got replaced by the pressure to conform… and how the church I was born into started to feel less like a community and more like something we w...