Clarity on Fire

There's a time and place for more grounded, astute, in-depth reflections about life and what to do about your problems (that's what blogs and, you know, every other episode of this podcast are for). But sometimes you just need a good, righteous rant. It's cathartic! So, every once in a while, instead of writing a new blog or republishing an old one, I'm going to spend a few minutes getting fired u...

A few months ago, my client MaryBeth started our session with, "You're never going to believe what I just did." She began the call feeling utterly embarrassed, but by the end of the conversation was starting to see how the "embarrassing" thing she'd done might actually be exactly the right next step. When you're so committed to your plan — for your career, your relationship, or your life in genera...

Whether you love partying until the New Years' ball drops or turning in before midnight… Whether you swear by New Years' resolutions or roll your eyes at them… It's hard to fully avoid getting caught up in the energy of a new year (and in this case, a new decade!). I don't know about you, but I can't help feeling inspired to reflect on my life, dream about the future, and commit to making changes....

Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer audience questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself. On this episode, we're answering questions from: Sarah, who is distressed by how much she doesn't like herself, and how all of her behavior reflects that lack of...

To close out this month, year, and decade on a high note, Rachel thought it would be a nice, full-circle moment to sit down with Deirdre, one of her first clients ever and someone she's known for nearly ten years! Deirdre has had her share of ups and downs in the last ten years, like most of us. And how this decade looks at the end—living in Scotland, running her own business—is very different tha...

First thing's first—Happy birthday to Kristen! Given that it's already a special day, and given that we're less than two weeks away from 2020, we decided to do a special "decade in review" episode to really cap off the day/month/year/decade in epic fashion. We're going back and mining 10 years' worth of highs, lows, and wisdom, in the hope that you can take some of what we've learned and save your...

If you're at all familiar with the laws of the universe, you understand that being overly attached to an outcome is big no-no: When you cling to something you tend to push it further away. But does that mean we should all become Zen monks who have literally no attachments to anything?? No desires or preferences whatsoever? And what happens when you've tried but you just can't let go of how much yo...

I was sitting in a coffee shop the other day, doing some work on my laptop, sipping my after-lunch tea and enjoying the relative quiet, when a rush of people flooded in all at once. I looked up to see that my quiet little coffee shop, which had been practically empty just 10 minutes before, now was bustling with noise and had a line out the door. I checked the time — yep, the 2pm coffee rush. It g...

Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer audience questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself. On this episode we're answering questions from: Jessica, whose boss forgets or ignores every one of her birthdays and work milestones, even though that same boss...

It's a tale as old as time: Girl meets boy. Boy is kind of lame, or a bit of a jerk, or not super committed to the idea of a relationship. But ah , boy could be so much more! There's a glimmer of ambition and wisdom and emotional availability under the surface, and girl is going to mine that for all it's worth. Until, inevitably, she's gob-smacked by reality when boy fails to change, reciprocate h...

Calling all fellow bookworms, library nerds, and general lovers of literature — it's time for another book club episode of the podcast! Whenever there are five Fridays in a month, we devote the extra Friday to a book that we can't get enough of. In this episode we're diving into the New York Times bestseller Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb. Lori, a therapist, goes through a sudde...

Instead of a new blog, we're taking 30 minutes to update you on two things happening (or about to happen) in the Clarity on Fire universe! First, for the cool part of the announcement: Starting Tuesday, December 10 (and ending on the 17th) we're offering a holiday special on The Passion Profile Short Course ! For that week, the course will be $50 off its usual price. Anyone who signs up in that wi...

Have you ever been guilty of "painting red flags green?" AKA, trying very hard NOT to see (and actively rationalizing and excusing) someone's questionable patterns and potential deal-breakers so that you can go right on dating them? Or, as Rachel creepily likes to put it, "dating the same person over and over again, in a different skin-suit." There's no other way to parse it: Codependence is a B,...

Have you ever wanted someone to let you off the hook for all the things you don't want to do? You know, the things that keep nagging at your mind, that you know you  should  do, but for some reason you just keep procrastinating on. Wouldn't it be nice if someone just swooped into your life and said, "It's OK, you don't have to do those things anymore. I'm granting you full permission to let them g...

Remember in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire when Mad-Eye Moody (well, the Death Eater who was impersonating Mad-Eye Moody using Polyjuice Potion) briefly turned Draco Malfoy into a ferret that he bounced around the Great Hall, much to the delight of Harry, Ron, and Hermione? In half a second Draco was transfigured from an unmanageable problem—a persistent bully and nemesis that the trio shared...

I'll admit, a lot of what motivates me in my writing and coaching can be boiled down to something I'd call "professional outrage." I know I'm supposed to be non-judgy and infinitely patient. And I am with my clients because they're cool people and they deserve that from me, always. But there are some things that I straight up loathe . (As in, when I come across them, my eyes narrow and my nostrils...

Let's be honest: All of us have an inner control freak that likes to surface from time to time (or maybe has fully taken over and is running our lives!). And it makes sense — we're wired, by nature, to hate uncertainty and want clarity, answers, and a solid plan , preferably before taking any action. Our inner control freak is trying to quell our anxiety about what's on the horizon, but the need t...

I have this fantasy of one day having a life where everything is in perfect balance. I'm putting out quality work, exercising daily, nurturing all of my relationships, getting plenty of sleep, making smart financial decisions, maintaining a clean home, making green juices every morning and healthy meals every night, and leaving plenty of time for fun and relaxation. And eventually I imagine adding...

Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer audience questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself. On this episode, we're answering questions from: Muddled Muggle, who heard our Enneagram series back in August and had a shocking realization that she's not the p...

There's a time and place for more grounded, astute, in-depth reflections about life and what to do about your problems (that's what blogs and, you know, every other episode of this podcast are for). But sometimes you just need a good, righteous rant. It's cathartic! So, every once in a while, instead of writing a new blog or republishing an old one, I'm going to spend a few minutes getting fired u...

One of the heartbreaking things about the human experience is that it's both universal and incredibly isolating. Every single person, whether they'd admit to it or not, feels unworthy in some way. And yet most of us walk around feeling like there's something wrong with us; that we're particularly broken compared to other people. And we fear giving voice to that "brokenness," because what happens w...

A client of mine is a teacher for elementary school kids. Every day, she gives her kids some free time in the afternoon to play games, be creative, and generally take a break from structured learning to have a little fun. A few weeks ago, after she explained all of the different "stations" they could play at during free time (coloring, origami, music, games, building with blocks, etc.), most of th...

All of us have either been the person who, even if they know it's happening, can't stop dating carbon copies of the same person over and over again; OR we've been the friend watching it happen, wanting to beat our head (and our friend's head) against the wall. And if that doesn't resonate, maybe you've been the person who keeps seeking praise and validation from a boss who's stingy with compliment...

OK fellow Millennials (and really, everyone, because who hasn't seen this movie?) … do you remember that scene in Aladdin where Genie (RIP our beloved Robin Williams) is describing what it's like to be a genie? His whole form expands to fill the room while he bellows in a deep, booming voice: "PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER!" … and then he shrinks into his lamp and concludes in a quiet, high-pitched voic...

As a grown, independent person living in the almost-2020s, it would be highly embarrassing to admit that you secretly hope for a knight in shining armor to sweep you off your feet like a damsel in distress. You can pay your own bills and don't need rescuing, thank-you-very-much. BUT … while most of us have gotten over the desire for a savior when it comes to romance , a LOT of us are still very mu...