CineKuest Video

In preparation for the soon-to-be trilogy of Bill and Ted Face the Music, we’re here pre-gaming on the essential origination of the ultimate time-traveling lovable dumb dumbs from the 80’s. They are the chosen ones, the Wyld Stallyns, the sole materializers of utopia, and unless they make it through their class--it will never happen. Join, Daniel, Rey, and Roland as we party on, dudes.

AKA Night of the Living Meg Onwards, Dan-Igor, Dr. Westenstein needs you! This funny-as-hell body-horror-fest chronicles the continued exploits of Dan Abbott and Dr. Herbert West-all grown up from their days as med students. Part Dr. Moreau, part Dr. Frankenstein–Jeffrey Combs’ reprises his iconic role as Herbert West, a man happiest when filling out his body parts bingo card. If he can get the Ho...

Retrovision Futuristica Robotica: Michael Crichton’s Runaway aka The Indomitable Mustache of MegaSelleck In the advanced society of the future 1980’s, Tom Selleck is Jack Ramsay, a cop-turned-nerd (by the power of night courses!) is the head of a robotics crime unit, tasked with the protection of society from rogue robot toasters and dishwashers. The rebel robots have thrown off the chains of serv...

Here we are with the start of another cult classic trilogy, starring Jeffrey Combs–arguably one of the best horror-comedy actors of the times. Loosely based on the H.P. Lovecraft story of the same name, this flick stars Combs as Herbert West, a kooky-as-fuck, true mad-genius med student who has an obsession with the dead, and Bruce Abbot as Dan Cain, a milquetoast plain-Jane sissy–who constantly g...

For our latest foray into the ass-kickiverse, by request (sup Chris!), we’re checkin’ this bullet ballet classic, the genre-defining cop flick–Hard Boiled. Directed by the Slow-Motion Shogun, the creator of the Flying Dove Style gun-fu, the man John Woo, who would go on to conceive some of the most badassfuckincool actioneers of the 90’s. We’re talking Hard Target, Broken Arrow, Face/Off–and inspi...

Join us as we review a movie about seizing the glory days! Simon Pegg stars as Gary King, the man with a lifetime appointment with Dr. Ink! Beer joke (nailed it). For his high school graduation, Gary and his best mates, The Five Musketeers, attempt to drink through the Golden Mile, a pub crawl through twelve bars with one pint downed at each. They nearly made it through, but it ended in drunken fa...

We figured it would be fun to try and make a reaction episode, so here we are with the best possible movie to start with! Be Excellent To Each Other! What could be more awesome in these crazy trying fucking times than a proper brand new aww-hells-yes-return of Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter?!? We submit to you, our excellent audience, our reactions to this upcoming treasure of a film. Join Rey, Rola...

Possible other starting quote: “Among the latter, under pretence of governing they have divided their nations into two classes, wolves and sheep.” – Shithead Jefferson One of America’s Founding Fathers and proto rap star Alexander Hamilton is quoted as saying, ““It has been observed by an honorable gentleman, that a pure democracy, if it were practicable, would be the most perfect government. Expe...

London’s Supercop, Nicholas Angel (Simon Pegg), is just too good for the boys in blue. He’s so good (400% by their records) they promote him to sergeant, which sounds great until the cop who can’t be stopped gets assigned to Bumblefuck Nowheresville. Take note, bumpkins, if you drink beer from a straw, this man WILL card you, ya buncha dopey ass toddlers. As the newest addition to the police force...

So here we present year two of our hatch day holiday with the baller-ass box office bomb, Last Action Hero, a pretty bitchin’ ballistic action movie starring the Schwarzeneggar as immortal die-hard cop Jack Slater. Get ready for some dick-kicking ridiculousness as Slater goes through life, giving the one-finger-salute to the swamp nuts of crime only to realize it’s all fiction. Welcome to a litera...

Tonight we would like to invite you all to a five-course meal…at Taco Bell. The Franchise Wars declared a winner is them in this classic Stallone stomp-fest. John Spartan is a cop who kicks names and takes ass (Huxley-ism). Unfortunately, he’s outsmarted by Simon Phoenix, a true agent of murderous, goofy chaos–and ends up being sent to prison and put into suspended animation for his efforts. ‘Caus...

Beginning the next Cinekuest “Apocalypse Trilogy” we bring you Shaun of the Dead. With this first “Cornetto-verse” pick we bring you the dark comedic genius of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, arguably the funniest duo in existence. They bring plenty of feels too though when Shaun’s entire world as he knows it comes crashing down to eat his ass. In this context, eating ass = not good. Talkin’ about thos...

In this episode of Cinekust, we bring you to the final movie in the “Apocalypse Trilogy” with In the Mouth of Madness, John Carpenter’s most overt incorporation of Lovecraftian themes in his films to date. Ultra bad-fuckin-ass insurance investigator, John Trent, has no time for hack horror writers-get him a tape if you could? He is completely unaware of the viral sensation that is Baron Wolfgang v...

Debarge it downtime, folks. If none of you have seen it, then you’ve got time this self-quarantining/social distancing eve to check The Last Dragon with us. The only guy that stands between Sho ‘Nuff, the Shogun of Harlem, and total supremacy is the (eats popcorn using chopsticks with a straight face) serious, the saucy (“Hothead, needs cool water”), Leeroy Greene. “Bruce” Leeroy is a man on a per...

Here we go for round 2 of JC’s “Apocalypse Trilogy” with Prince of Darkness. Listen in as we connect the dots of the Carpenterverse (mostly the reused actors and music). This crack against the evils of “Space Satan” plays out like a synth-wave music video. Get a bunch of awkward, clueless nerds to “research” an ancient glowing toilet full of alien sploosh. Check! Turn your narrow-minded understand...

In between our Apocalypse Trilogy anal-yzation we’ve decided to pepper some more of Johnny C’s epic schlockfest classics- enter Big Trouble in Little China. Staring (again) The Hair Himself, Kurt-Of-The-Flowing-Mullet-Russell is Jack “it’s all in the reflexes” Burton, a happy-go-lucky truck driver who wins a couple of grand in a bet and gets pulled into an ancient feud between demons, sorcerers, k...

On to the first of the Apocalypse Trilogy, we have the classic horror, John Carpenter’s The Thing. Anyone that grew up with this movie will remember the holy hellshiet crazy crapola going on here. The practical effects of Rob Bottin give even the Hellraiser franchise a run for its gory body horror glory. The guy is an artist with rubber tubes and bbq sauce. As it’s light on the plot you can just s...

New year, same antics. We’re back with a new Cinekuest series covering the best/worst action movie villains. For our first entry, we take you to a world where the secret love-child of Steve Buscemi and Dean Cain has finished his tour for Uncle Sam, and so it’s “back to the land of the PX”. What else is there to do in sleepy Miami apart from sponsor an illegal capoeira school program with teens dee...

Here we are with the second of our continued Extended Worrellverse selections. Just in time for the holidays, we have Ernest bringing the Xmas spirit to make us forget our corporate overlords are just milking our yuletide paychecks. The point is-having to buy shiet for people we don’t like for the sake of pretendo-feels sucks. So be selfish instead. Listen in as Ernest ensures the next Santa Claus...

Welcome to our final exploration into trash cinemas magnum opus, The Toxic Avenger! Somehow society deemed it worthy to be introduced to children via a cartoon. Oh Hellz yes. Here we go on the first of the Toxic Avenger movie series. Near and dear to our hearts, this movie is funny as hell and just as dumb (the best). Melvin Ferd is your run-of-the-mill spazoid janitor (not a nerd-too dumb) at a l...

This one shoulda been in a shit-fest listing somewhere. We recommend this only with lots of alcohol. Even then, you may be better off leaving this in the landfill with all those ET Atari games. Based on the DC Comics character, John Henry Irons is Steele, played by the Shaq Attack himself. Shaquille O’neal is an ex-military weapons specialist who finds his weapons have been co-opted on the streets...

In the criminal justice system, sexually-based offenses are considered especially heinous…oops! Sorry, I thought the Criterion crew was discussing an episode of SVU! Join Idanya, D.A., Ron, and Cougar (sort of…he didn’t watch the movie eeeekkkk) as they explore the “beauty” of this artistic masterpiece. Apparently it’s a movie that has killed. You’ve been warned! Please rate and review us on iTune...

Introducing the first of the Extended Worrellverse reviews, we have the late great Jim Varney, aka The Man of Destiny himself–Ernest P. Worrell, the Bumpkin Beakman, the Hick Peewee Herman, CornBall Carrot Top, Bubba Bill Nye the Hayseed Guy. In our Halloween special, we recount the awesome Great Redneck Hope in all his hillbillyness. The Czar of Jars, the Baron of Bottles, the Duke of Dust–this s...

So what do you get when you mix a hissing hunchback, an atheist park ranger, a Jesus freak, a sickly cat, an evil muppet, oh and a higher power that gives no fucks? Hell if we know, this shit is weird. Turns out, that’s also what makes it crazy hilarious. Have a few beers and get ready for the attack of the exploding toddlers. Seriously, the dialog is so wonky bad it’s hilarious. All hail Cleano!...

To round out the last of Daniel’s bday picks is this late 90s gem of ass-kicking aw-fucketh-yeah-goodness: presenting for your consideration-Vampire Snipes. One of the earliest rated R Marvel comics ventures (also the first comic movie starring an African American lead)–Blade just fuckin rocks your pants off. ‘Cept for the heavier CG parts (we go into that). Wesley Snipes beats the bitch out of a...