Choosing Us

Choosing Us: Showing Up Every Day, Even When It's Hard Consistently choosing your partner, even on your hardest days, might be the most radical relationship act you can do. The Drapers from Choosing Us  get real about what it actually means to show up, authentically and imperfectly, in marriage and life. What does it look like when your best keeps changing? The couple explores how comparison and s...

Keeping Promises When You're Running on Empty Honestly, the most powerful moment in this episode comes down to a simple choice: show up tired or cancel. The Drapers, hosts of "Choosing Us," chose to show up and took their sons to a pump track after school despite being exhausted and pressed for time. That decision ripples into something much bigger than an afternoon bike ride. What does it actuall...

Choosing Us: Family Trips, Messy Marriages, and Why Struggles Make You Stronger Rarely does a single episode cover sand-filled arches, prison ministry, and marriage advice with this much heart. The Drapers are back with a raw, honest conversation that challenges the idea that life should feel easy or comfortable. Their spring break trip to Moab  with three kids, including a baby, could have been a...

Survival Mode and Independence   The Drapers are navigating life with a four-month-old while their two older kids adjust to a non-traditional school—and honestly, they're just trying to keep their heads above water. (Sleep deprivation is real, folks.) Their four-year-old son initially claimed he "couldn't" do basic tasks like putting on shoes or blowing his nose, when really he just didn't want to...

Have you ever wondered where self-love actually ranks on your list of life's priorities? The Drapers dive into this transformative question after a recent home emergency involving a burning smell and a failed heater motor reminded them how crucial it is to trust your instincts (Mikaela's quick thinking to call 911 saved the day).  Through honest reflection, one speaker shares the eye-opening momen...

When your four-year-old asks for a pizza date, you know something's working. The Drapers aren't just talking about relationship priorities—they're living them with four kids, packed sports schedules, and the kind of chaos that makes "me time" feel like a distant memory. Here's what strikes me about their approach: they've been together twelve years, and they're still showing up for each other, eve...

Celebrating two nights of their three-month-old sleeping eight to nine hours feels amazing, but the Drapers know better than to expect it to last. (That dreaded four to five month sleep regression is lurking around the corner.) The hosts of "Choosing Us" dive into why unrealistic expectations can sabotage your relationship and how comparing your marriage to Hollywood's version nearly derailed thei...

How do couples navigate intimacy when hormones turn everything upside down? The Drapers open up about a reality many new parents face but few discuss openly. Three months postpartum, their intimate dynamics have completely reversed—roles they've held for years suddenly flipped because of hormonal shifts that can last up to twelve months (and full recovery can take two years). Michaela, who histori...

Authenticity might just be the most exhausting thing you're not doing in your relationship. The Drapers dive deep into why we waste so much energy creating personas for others when genuine connection demands we show up as ourselves. Brad points out something fascinating: everyone sees a different version of your mask anyway, filtered through their own experiences, so why bother maintaining the fac...

When your partner keeps growing and you're standing still, the relationship starts to feel off-balance. Brad and his co-host wrap up their mini-series on Napoleon Hill's relationship principles with a discussion about intellectual and spiritual companionship (while managing their teething daughter's brief nap window). They introduce their "bike analogy"—the idea that both partners must keep pedali...

The Drapers return from their week away to share something that saved their relationship during a particularly rough afternoon. Three months into parenting three children, they're figuring out how to stay connected when life gets overwhelming (and it definitely does). Brad sticks to his daily to-do list religiously—his wife supports these commitments even when they conflict with her own preference...

Why Your Parents' Relationship Might Be Sabotaging Your Marriage Here's something you probably haven't thought about lately: the patterns you witnessed growing up are quietly running your relationship right now. Brad and Michaela Draper dive into the uncomfortable truth about inherited relationship behaviors and why waiting for the "perfect time" to work on your marriage is basically just an excus...

When your spouse says "just a minute" and returns thirty minutes later, does that count as a lie or just a miscommunication? The Drapers tackle this exact scenario in their latest conversation about Don Miguel Ruiz's Four Agreements and how they apply to marriage. Being impeccable with your word isn't just about grand promises (it's also about those small daily commitments like callbacks and time...

When the Drapers started planning their first Masogi, a year-defining difficult activity completed during winter's slack season, Brad was shocked to learn he'd be tackling it as a team. What began as nighttime 35-mile endurance walks evolved into marathon-distance family events where even their newborn joined in a stroller. (Michaela and their children have consistently surprised Brad during final...

When it comes to New Year's resolutions, most people abandon them within days. The Drapers tackle why this happens and what actually works instead (spoiler: it's not just writing a wish list). Breaking goals into daily actionable steps matters far more than grand January declarations, they explain. Supporting your partner's goals means understanding exactly what those goals are and the specific st...

When a newborn forces you to slow down, something unexpected happens. The Drapers discovered that stripping away the holiday chaos revealed what Christmas was really about all along (and it wasn't the endless shopping lists or packed schedules). After years of financial stress during the season, they're now celebrating simply with their family, choosing to skip the Santa promotion entirely and foc...

Starting the year with chaos and hardship, the Drapers discovered something counterintuitive: real happiness isn't waiting at the end of some perfect journey. Their 2025 has been exceptionally challenging, yet they've found profound fulfillment by choosing joy even when circumstances suggest otherwise. Through years of intentional practice (over a decade, actually), Brad and Michaela have learned...

Relationship Maintenance During Life's Demanding Seasons When a new baby arrives, even the strongest relationships face challenges that test established connection routines. The Drapers are experiencing this firsthand with their baby girl, navigating sleep deprivation and a reversed day-night cycle while their weekly date nights sit temporarily on pause. (It's the reality most new parents know too...

New Parents, Old Wisdom When their sons reminded them about the Christmas tree, the Drapers realized something profound: their children's priorities matter just as much as their own. With a newborn in the house and three older kids running around (plus one struggling middle-child dog), life has become beautifully chaotic. They're now completing only about seventy-five percent of their daily to-do...

In this episode, Brad and Michaela discuss the impact and power of having gratitude. Being the week of Thanksgiving, they felt it was imperative to discuss having love and gratitude within the home and in your relationship. Now, If you find this episode valuable, please share with your significant other, friends, and family. We love you! Listen in! Thank you for listening to this episode of Choosi...

Honestly, the most powerful thing about this episode might be what happens when two exhausted people choose to show up for each other anyway. The Drapers are navigating the final days before their baby arrives while simultaneously restarting their business after fourteen months—and they're pulling back the curtain on what intimacy actually looks like when life gets messy. Here's what might surpris...

What does it really mean to love someone? The Drapers flip the script on romance by arguing that love isn't a feeling you fall into—it's an active verb demanding consistent effort. Through a bicycle analogy, they explain how relationships need constant pedaling (continuous work and intentional energy) or they'll inevitably coast to a stop. While many couples believe they've "fallen out of love," t...

What if the secret to a strong marriage isn't being inseparable, but learning when to stand on your own? The Drapers dive deep into the delicate balance between independence and interdependence in marriage, sharing raw insights from their 11-year journey together. Starting as a 19-year-old wife who waited by the door for her husband's return, Michaela reveals how her early codependency nearly dest...

Discover how busy parents can prioritize their relationship without leaving home in this intimate episode recorded from the Drapers' living room. At 34 weeks pregnant with their third child, Michaela and her husband share their approach to maintaining connection during life's busiest seasons. Instead of a traditional babymoon, they opted for a local staycation while their boys stayed with grandpar...

Ever wonder why your kids seem to ignore your threats but listen to other parents? Brad reveals the eye-opening moment when his six-year-old's friend rolled his eyes at empty parental warnings—but immediately complied when warned that Brad actually follows through. In this candid episode of Choosing Us, Michaela and Brad get real about the messy reality of parenting as a team. From navigating brut...