Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal

What does it really mean to stay grounded in yourself when you’re the one doing the emotional work in the relationship? In this episode, I’m joined by Tammy Gustafson, MA, LPC—trauma-informed licensed professional counselor, coach, speaker, founder of Betrayal Healing and LiveFree Counseling, host of the annual Betrayal Healing Conference, and author of Broken to Brave: Your Courageous Act of Heal...

“One of the most painful places couples get stuck after betrayal is right here: One partner is thinking, ‘We’re okay. Why can’t we move on?’ And the other is thinking, ‘I want to—but my body keeps panicking.’ And both end up wondering what’s wrong with them. In this episode, I want to explain why this disconnect happens—not because someone is resisting healing, but because the nervous system doesn...

In this special bonus episode, Hali Roderick is joined by her friends and trusted colleagues Amie Woolsey and Alana Gordon for a shared conversation about the heart, vision, and deeper purpose behind the Rise, Renew, Restore Women’s Retreat in Costa Rica. Together, we explore why this retreat is about so much more than getting away — it’s about creating true nervous-system relief, embodied healing...

Many couples stay together after infidelity—but staying together isn’t the same as healing. In this episode of Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal , we explore the quiet, often unspoken space many couples live in after betrayal: life looks calmer on the outside, but underneath there’s still tension, disconnection, or a sense of holding your breath. This conversation gently examines how...

Can a relationship really heal after infidelity—or does staying just mean learning how to live with the pain? In this relaunch episode of Choosing To Stay After Infidelity & Betrayal, we’re slowing things down and getting honest about what healing actually requires. Whether you’re the betrayed partner wondering if you’ll ever feel safe again, or the partner who broke trust and wants to repair...

This episode is one of the early conversations that shaped the heart of this podcast, and we’re bringing it back because its message is just as important today as it was when it first aired. If you’re in the aftermath of betrayal or rebuilding a relationship after broken trust, this episode lays the groundwork for understanding what true repair requires. In this re-released conversation, we explor...

This special re-release revisits one of the most important conversations from our early episodes — an episode so foundational that we felt it needed to be heard again. If you or your spouse are in the early stages of betrayal trauma, discovery, or relational crisis, this conversation will give you the grounding, clarity, and practical steps you need to begin healing. In this re-released episode, w...

This special episode of Choosing to Stay marks a heartfelt transition and an important moment for our community. Hali and Stephanie sit down for one final conversation as co-hosts to reflect on what this podcast has become, how it has supported so many navigating betrayal trauma and relational healing, and what the future now holds. In this episode, Stephanie gently announces that she is stepping...

Stopping destructive behaviors is only the beginning. In recovery after betrayal, many partners achieve behavioral sobriety but struggle with emotional sobriety—the ability to regulate, integrate, and share emotions in real time. In this episode, we’ll break down the psychology of emotional sobriety, how compartmentalization keeps couples stuck, and what moving toward integration looks like for bo...

In this episode, we share a core truth of couples' recovery: healing starts with honoring yourself — and that personal work naturally becomes a gift to your partner, your children, and future generations. Healing isn’t about fixing each other; it’s about becoming grounded, regulated, and emotionally responsible. We talk about how individual healing lowers reactivity, strengthens emotional tole...

In this episode, Hali welcomes her daughter, Morgan Ellsworth, BCC, MFT-I to talk about how to help children feel secure, loved, and grounded during the holidays when the family system is healing from betrayal. Kids pick up on tension, silence, and emotional shifts more than words - but they don’t need perfection, they need presence . This conversation explores how to offer age-appropriate honesty...

In this honest and compassionate episode, Hali and Stephanie speak directly to those who have betrayed trust and are navigating the deep discomfort of the holiday season. When you’re the one who caused harm, it’s natural to want to “fix” things — to bring joy back, to create happy moments, to prove your love and remorse. But often, that well-intentioned positivity can feel like bypass to your part...

In this heartfelt episode, When the Season Doesn’t Feel Merry: Honoring Grief, Creating Boundaries, and Finding Grace, Hali and Stephanie talk about how to navigate the holidays when your heart is still healing from betrayal. The season that’s “supposed to be” full of joy and family connection can feel heavy and disorienting after trust has been broken. Together they explore how to name and honor...

In this special episode, Hali shares from the heart about her next chapter — the creation of Rooted & Rising After Betrayal, a new podcast and healing community for women walking the path of recovery after infidelity and betrayal. While Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal will continue to support couples doing the brave work of relational healing, Rooted & Rising offers a sacred...

Healing after betrayal is some of the hardest emotional work a person can face — and it is exhausting. Recovery requires constant emotional energy, rebuilding trust, courage, and change over time. That level of effort wears on everyone involved. In this episode, we acknowledge how draining the process can feel for both the betrayed partner and the partner in recovery, and how that exhaustion can a...

Lying often begins as self-protection—but in the aftermath of betrayal, it becomes one of the biggest barriers to rebuilding connection. In this solo episode, Hali explores why lying becomes a habit, how it deepens disconnection, and what it takes to courageously choose honesty as part of the healing journey. Whether you’re the partner in recovery or the betrayed partner navigating trust issues, t...

After betrayal, the future can feel like it’s been stolen. For the betrayed partner, dreams may feel shattered or unsafe to hold. For the one seeking recovery, hope for the future may be tangled with guilt, fear, or the pressure to “make things right.” In this episode, we’ll talk about what it means to truly process grief, why timing matters, and how both partners can begin to cautiously, safely,...

When couples stay together after betrayal, there’s a difference between acceptance and resignation. Acceptance leads to hope and healing; resignation leads to disconnection and despair. In this episode What acceptance vs. resignation really looks like How it shows up for both the betrayed and betraying partner Key questions to help you discern where you are Practical steps to move from resignation...

Betrayal cuts deep, leaving both partners facing painful choices about the future of their relationship. For some, staying is the beginning of an authentic rebuilding process; for others, it becomes a form of self-betrayal. In this episode, we unpack the why and the how of staying after betrayal. We approach this conversation from both perspectives: the betrayed partner and the one who has betraye...

Trust after betrayal doesn’t return with one big moment. It’s not only rebuilt through formal disclosures, powerful apologies, or recovery milestones—it’s the hundreds of small choices made day after day. In this episode, we talk about the power of micro-trust : those tiny interactions that slowly teach a partner’s heart and nervous system, “Maybe I can breathe again. Maybe I can risk hope.” You’l...

In this episode of the Choosing to Stay Podcast , I’m opening up about something personal: my dad’s journey with Lewy Body Dementia and how it sparked my own concerns about brain health. As I walked through my own healing from emotional trauma, I began to realize something powerful—trauma isn’t just about thoughts or mindset. It lives in the brain and the body, shaping the way we show up in life a...

Chandler Rogers is the CEO and founder of Relay, an app designed to help people overcome pornography and sexual addiction through community and shame-free accountability. Inspired by his own recovery journey, Chandler created Relay to provide structure, daily tools, and connection for thousands navigating healing. He lives in Orem, Utah with his wife, their 18-month-old son, and another little one...

Do you ever find yourself craving closeness one moment and pulling away the next? You’re not alone. In this episode, we’re diving deep into disorganized attachment — a pattern of connection rooted in the paradox of both desiring and fearing intimacy. You’ll learn: What disorganized attachment is and how it develops The emotional, behavioral, and physiological signs to look for Why betrayal trauma...

 Avoidant Attachment – The Pull to Withdraw In this episode, we explore the core traits, beliefs, and relationship patterns of dismissive/avoidant attachment — a style often rooted in early experiences where emotional needs were minimized or dismissed. You’ll learn how these protective strategies form, the impact they can have on intimacy, and practical steps to move toward secure, balanced connec...

In this episode unpack anxious attachment — how inconsistent caregiving can lead to fear of rejection, hypervigilance, and dependency in relationships. Discussing how betrayal may amplify these patterns, what it looks like in adult relationships, and practical steps for moving toward secure connection. Thank you for tuning in! We’re here to support couples healing from infidelity and betrayal, off...