CheezWits

How Walmart got us blocked in Russia, the roofer who ignored the ‘no soliciting’ signs, drama in gig work, homeowner’s insurance drama, Chris proves once again that he has no idea how women’s bodies work, an uncomfortable reaction to an uncomfortable conversation, things that just make no sense, first date scenarios, comparing the uses of Mando/Lume and a steak and cheese, and drinking on the air....

Church choirs singing “Like A Prayer,” Wally has another run-in with the law, family drama and the holidays, the real names of radio people, celebrities that have always looked the same as they do now, actors being who you expect them to be, and GUESS WHO HUNG UP FIRST. You won't believe it unless you hear it for yourself. And if you gave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts it would be a Chri...

Wally accidentally puts us in his neighborhood Facebook group, AI imagines Jess... differently, another backwards law in Tennessee, one of us got caught in a poacher sting, radio stuff, and Tyson v. Jake Paul. So this is season 3, huh? Meh.

What lube means, clitoris oil, Wally can't hang up, dating apps, Google fiber, why we'll probably never get a sponsor, and WuTang is forever. That's just some of the drivel we cobbled together for the "best" of our second year of existence. Hey, if it weren't for you listening, we wouldn't still be here doing this. So you only have yourself to blame.

Wally and Jess compare caregiver stories, the lady with the arms (IYKYK) calls Jess before coffee, friend of the show Brad is a new dad, incoming cabinet appointments, Wally ticks off the neighborhood Facebook group, prayer and hypocrisy, iHeart keeps killing radio, and Jess saves the neighborhood from the pittie puppy. It's our last episode of Season 2, so if you've stuck with us this long, how a...

Our post-election analysis - are we smarter than a 5th grader? Debatable. Movies that defined our respective generations, home improvement scammers, the company that broke radio, and phrases with racist origins.

To do a “best of year 2” or not, how people treat caregivers, paying attention to details, getting gas at BJs (is that a setup for Chris? Maybe), crazy radio station callers, the latest campaign faux pas, why the Brady Bunch revival is a no go, wagyu beef at Walmart, and the post-election future of our show. Have you thought about CheezWits as a write-in candidate?

Calls from caregivers at night, early voting and the game Jess played while waiting in line, Wally tries to think of some double standards, and more proof we'll never survive as a society. Besides the existence of this show, obviously.

Dead people on Facebook, Jess plays “would you rather” marriage edition, we take an important survey, aging parents and their houses, terrible dreams, you’ll never guess where we found GOOD customer service, Dunkin coffee, and the cheapskate Wally and Jess worked for. Are we offensive? Sure, but are we funny? Nah. But leave us a rating/review at Apple Podcasts anyway, would ya?

People who didn’t evacuate ahead of hurricane warnings, misinformation about FEMA, misinformation about Puerto Rico, toilet paper hoarders, the real reason Jess can’t go to Canada, SEC fan vandalism pays off, old age forgetfulness, farts and child locks, getting mugged while making deliveries, getting away with stuff in front of cameras, and Wally shockingly doesn't understand today's youth.

We imagine Wally as a Senator, the radio station dropping the ball on things happening in its local community, the last K-Mart and stores that file for bankruptcy, misleading political memes and posts, new scam calls, a letter from Donald J Trump, states where it’s illegal to cheat on your spouse, and Chris teaches accents.

This week, we cover Wally’s adventures in computer stuff, an Ivermectin delivery, Chris draws the line at feet, P Diddy, real men and skid marks, the punchline from Chris we never get to hear, Jess has an offensive shirt “oops”, people who don’t follow the rules, peeing the bed, and the difference between men and women. As you can see, while the technical quality is better than last week, nothing...

If you look up “disaster” in the dictionary, you’ll see the three of us waving at you from this episode. First Wally has computer problems, then Jess does. We’ve cobbled together an episode in which we talk about computer problems A LOT, and there is drastic mid-sentence change in audio quality. Obviously, we talk about the debate…. and Springfield. Also Selena Gomez in the billionaire’s club, a 5...

In a shocking turn of events, Wally doesn’t understand his computer; plus the Chase bank “glitch,” racism at Walmart, the most potty-mouthed state in the Union, and the ways in which Jess has grown into her bitchiness. It's like Kindergarten, but for adults (I know you are, but what am I?) Help us out and leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, would ya? Even if you listen somewhere else.

Wally’s schedule confusion, car trouble, the state fair competition Jess will not be participating in, radio in the public interest, the cult of Jeep drivers, swingers, and gun ownership. You're gonna love this episode at least as much as your last dental appointment. Rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, please and thank you.

Insurance company drama, the ages of “old” people on TV when we were kids, the women in Wally’s life keep finding dead bodies, Tennesseans are mad about toll lanes, who was thinking of Chris while on the toilet, annoying appointment reminders and “confirmations,” and the cost of selling houses.

That noise Wally’s phone makes, an idea for new guests, an update on the trash can neighbor, the reason Chris crapped on the floor, Jenna makes her podcast debut (kinda), music artists who’ve put the moves on us (or who we’ve wanted to), the awfulness of local news, and people in radio who think you’re an a-hole because you tell them no. Because who among us is REALLY an a-hole?

A near death experience, Wally is very upset by the name of a store, scams and fake news, a traumatic public restroom experience, tipping culture, the racist bacon traffic report, and in a surprising turn of events, Wally doesn’t know what a widget is, but it turns out Jess’s computer DID record the whole show. Because what a tragedy to miss even a second of this drivel.

Air conditioning (Jess DOES have central air, Wally), Jess finds a new best friend to bond with over crappy exes, the two of us who belong barefoot in the kitchen, neighbor weirdness, what’s in Wally’s algorithm, the hawk tuah girl, aging and medical conditions, and euphoric peeing. See, this is the kind of quality entertainment you can’t get just anywhere.

Text and Facebook scams, checking the spam folder, LinkedIn emails, people who don’t bother to reply to messages, if we were the members of Smartless, a guy who helped kill radio criticizes radio, when winning radio stations are sold and “fixed,” Wu Tang forever, predatory companies and cancellation policies, and the reason we can probably never have a sponsor.

Chris has an airport adventure, Wally has a stroke (no, not really), the Trump shooting, Mario Lopez wipes men, and TFW when your Instacart shopper is a dude.

Jess sums up the weather with a new word, No Soliciting in Spanish, fake names when placing pickup orders, dentists and the upsell, Chris touched some lady’s fupa, why Wally's not allowed to be polite, AI fakes, and medical diagnoses from the internet and Jess’s mom.

Childproofing confounds Wally (almost as much as technology), pranks by mail, and the things 12-year-old boys put Aqua Velva on. All this and even more quality entertainment for the low, low price of zero dollars. You'll love it or your money back.

Wally tries to convince us he's not on the call... while he's on the call (seriously, if you want to skip that mess, jump to 8:30), home prices, Wally tries (unsuccessfully) to shame Jess over a mistake, the dead guy at Chris's house, a mutual friend of Wally and Chris has passed, aging and illness, cremated pets, Wally's anniversary, celebrity divorces, Jess's divorce, the Ashley Madison document...

Wally gets too much email, Jess gets a new mic, Chris celebrates a government holiday (and so does his phone), when Wally wore a daishiki, mollycoddling, hamburg vs. hamburger (the biggest argument we have this week), entitled people, are we f*&ks, radio programming successes and failures, the radio owners killing radio, and Chris’s bad joke.