Cheaper Than Therapy with Vanessa and Dené

In today's episode, we share a bit of a conversation we were having driving home together after our weekend intensive in Idyllwild, CA. I’m our conversation we explored: How the framework of all of our relationships are changing in a radical way The resistance that comes to the surface whenever an outdated system or way of living is experiencing an imminent ego death  Why the most fundamental aspe...

In today's episode, we’re sharing a portion of one of our conversations from our week-long Intensive in Costa Rica.  We’re talking about: What it means to claim a sense of authentic power in our lives Understanding some of the ways we play into the systems we feel most challenged by when we live an ‘outside-in’ life vs. an ‘inside-out’ life What some of the archetypal narratives in literature arou...

In this Q&A episode, a listener wrote in asking what to do with the knowledge that their partner is no longer physically attracted to them. When a relationship reaches the point where we are no longer having sex and we are on the verge of a break up - what advice would we give?  We’re talking about: Acknowledging the pain and difficulty about the situation on both sides.  Letting go of the ten...

In this episode of Cheaper than Therapy the Podcast, we’re answering a question submitted by one of our listeners that doesn’t feel respected in their relationship, especially in times of conflict or disagreement. They write, “Sometimes I feel like my partner doesn’t respect me when she’s upset; she swears and can get very upset. How do I deal with this?” If you have a question you’d like us to di...

Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT is a teacher, clinician, researcher, and developer of the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy® (PACT). He speaks and teaches around the world on secure-functioning relationships – how to understand them, create them, and support them, has written dozens of academic articles and six bestselling books, and is a TEDx Speaker.  We sat down with Stan to explore: 1. Why i...

In this Q&A episode, a listener writes, “My friend uses pronouns that I don’t agree with and I’m not sure what to do. Is it necessary to keep the friendship honest?” We discuss: Challenging ourselves to be brutally honest with ourselves first, and how we get clear about what’s underneath our intentions for wanting to speak up.  Owning the possibility that we may feel like there’s a right and w...

In today’s episode, we’re addressing some of the responses we received on social media around what it means to live an untamed life. We’re discussing: Why we sometimes feel the need to sweep things under the rug and not speak up in order to please the people around us, and how it inadvertently keeps our relationships inauthentic instead of giving us the security we’re looking for. How we oftentime...

In this Q&A episode, a listener tells us they’re struggling with their recent rapid weight gain, and the negative reinforcement from their partners remarks about how proud they’d be if they regained their previous body type.  We talk about: Every person having a right to bodily autonomy in all facets, the right to show up in their life exactly as they are How, as a partner, it’s our role to as...

Richie Reseda is a feminist ally, community organizer, recording artist, and founder of the social-impact record label, Question Culture. Success Stories, the anti-patriarchy organization he started while incarcerated, was chronicled in the CNN documentary “The Feminist on Cell Block Y.” He changes California prison policy with Initiate Justice, an organization he co-founded in prison.  🌟 Some Ke...

Martha Barnard-Rae helps outside-the-box brands build seriously good client relationships with clear, clever copywriting and content. By day she's the CEO at Word Candy and co-host of The One That Works For You podcast. Martha moonlights as a feminist scholar, TEDx speaker, and sore loser of board games. Setting boundaries is her superpower. Her love language is oddly specific Tik Toks.  We sat do...

In today’s solo episode, a reader wrote in because she believes people can remain friends after a romantic relationship, but her partner does not share her sentiments. She asked to hear our thoughts.  We talk about:  Why the suggestion that heterosexual men and women can’t be just friends enforces the patriarchal narrative that men are only interested in sex, and that women have nothing valuable t...

Rachelle Indra is a life coach and speaker specializing in the intersection of self-actualization and humor. She has made it her life's mission to teach the shit we should have been taught in school: how to have healthy relationships, discover your life's purpose, and how to retrain your brain to work for you instead of against you. We sat down with Rachelle to talk about: Recognizing that differe...

In this solo episode, we’re answering a listener’s question about why they seem to attract “energy vampires” and feel like they’re constantly being sucked into others’ drama.  We’re discussing: Reshifting your energy from, “why is this person always doing this TO me” to, “that’s challenging for them, but I don’t need to participate” and remembering that where you focus your energy is what you attr...

In this solo episode, we’re examining a situation we receive questions about frequently relating to moving on after the end of a 15+ year partnership. We so often hear that women have been unhappy in their (hetero) relationship for some time, then the relationship ends, and then the woman feels stuck and unsure about what comes next and how to move forward.  A patriarchal society normalizes the di...

How do I speak up when I’m afraid of the response? How do I show up as my most authentic self and what does that even mean? These are just some of the questions that Dené and Vanessa get asked frequently addressed in this episode from sn IG Live.  If you’re ready to dive deeper into topics like these, we have ONE MORE SHARED ROOM LEFT for our upcoming retreat in Costa Rica June 3-10th so if you’ve...

What happens when a world-renowned business powerhouse awakens to his life’s highest timeline, causing him to shift gears and dive into the spiritual realm where his true sense of purpose lies? Vanessa and Dené sat down with Danny Morel to explore his transformative journey from real estate mogul to spiritual guide - prompting us to rethink our definitions of success and the positive impact authen...

In this solo episode, we’re discussing a common theme we see around whether or not healing and co-regulating ourselves within relationships is the same as being codependent.  We’re talking about: Codependency, at its core, being being the belief that we ‘need’ one specific person outside of ourselves to regulate our internal world  Recognizing that society has conditioned us to equate attachment w...

Andrew Horn is an Austin, TX based social entrepreneur, speaker, writer and leadership coach. He has been featured on TED.com, founded an INC500 company, keynotes for the Fortune 500, and serves as a personal coach to “second mountain” entrepreneurs. Andrew is on a mission to support others in understanding how we create meaningful connections in an authentic way.  We sat down to talk with Andrew...

In today’s episode, we’re answering a string of questions submitted by a listener that revolve around codependency within relationships and how to start the process of leaning more into interdependence.  We’re exploring:: The societal pressure on women, especially, to focus our energy on finding and keeping a partner, rather than being encouraged to go inward and discover our own interests and wha...

In today’s episode, we’re addressing some of the questions we received on social media around reclaiming audacity and calling back our power.  We’re discussing: The concept of feeling stuck and learning how to lean into trusting that divine orchestration is always brings us exactly what we need  Feeling anxiety around where our lives are headed, and the importance of shifting our mindset to accept...

In today’s episode, we’re answering your questions around the topic of self-abandonment, and what it means to self-abandon in various areas in your life. We’re discussing: How to not lose yourself in relationships and why we may begin a relationship with strong boundaries but gradually lose confidence as we become more attached What healthy attachment in relationships looks like and how to discern...

This episode of Cheaper than Therapy is part of a series where we answer questions you, our listeners, have sent in to us. Today, we’re discussing the topic of self-abandonment, and what it looks like to self-abandon in various areas in your life.  If you have a question you’d like us to discuss, click here .  🌟 Some Big Takeaways from this Episode: Be Honest with Yourself: How to begin the work...

Episode 151 Q&A Session: Are They Actually Too Good for You is part of a series where we discuss topics and/or questions submitted by our listeners. In today’s episode we’re discussing the question, “What can lead someone to say to you that you are too good for them? Trauma, lack of self worth, etc.?” We’re getting into: The question of, “Wouldn’t they want to rise to the occasion if they real...

Connor Beaton is the founder of ManTalks, an international organization dedicated to the professional and personal growth in men. He is an entrepreneur, writer, keynote speaker, and facilitator dedicated to building a better society of men. Connor has spoken to large corporate brands, nonprofits, schools, and international organizations such as the United Nations, Microsoft, Johnson & Johnson,...

Q&A Session: Acts of Service vs Micromanaging is part of a series where we discuss topics and/or questions submitted by our listeners. In today’s episode we’re answering a question regarding how to manage over-functioning when your love language is acts of service. What do you do when you want to make your partner’s life easier, but end up micromanaging? We’re discussing: Getting honest with y...