Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life

Can you care deeply about someone without becomingresponsible for their outcome? That question can challenge more than a behavior. It can challenge how we see ourselves as leaders, coaches, parents, friends, and helpers. On this Transformational Thursday, Michelle explores whathappens when emotion becomes a doorway into identity. Our coachee begins to recognize that she has been measuring her succ...

What if the emotion is real, but the story attached to itisn’t the only story available? Our coachee’s employee is leaving, and she feels like she failed. But “she is leaving” is a fact. “I failed” is the meaning she has attached to that fact. In today’s episode, Michelle explores what happens whenemotion meets the Skillful Coach. By noticing language, separating facts from meaning, exploring resp...

What do you do when someone you care about gets emotional? For many of us, the instinct is immediate: reassure them, make them feel better, or somehow make the emotion go away. But sometimes being relational means resisting the urge to rescue. In today’s episode, Michelle explores what happens whenemotion meets the Relational Coach. Trust, safety, and presence create a space where someone doesn’t...

What happens when the person you’re coaching suddenly starts crying, gets angry, or simply stops talking? Even a capable coach can have that moment of, “Oh my gosh, what do I do now?” In today’s episode, Michelle explores what happens whenemotion meets the Structured Coach. Frameworks and processes can be incredibly helpful, but sometimes our desire to get back to the structure is really about mak...

So, does a great coach ever give advice? The answer may be alittle more nuanced than simply yes or no. In today’s episode, Michelle brings “What do you think I should do?” to the Integrated Coach, where the focus shifts from following a rule to using discernment. Sometimes a question is exactly what someone needs. Sometimes it is silence, reflection, or an observation. And sometimes our experience...

What if “What should I do?” isn’t really about the decisionin front of you? What if the deeper question is about who you believe you are supposed to be? In today’s episode, Michelle explores what happens when thisquestion meets the Transformational Coach. A promotion may look like success on paper, but what happens when our definition of success, growth, or potential begins to change? Sometimes we...

“I don’t want it, but I should want it.” Have you evercaught yourself saying something like that? In today’s episode, Michelle explores what happens when “What do you think I should do?” meets the Skillful Coach and one little word opens the door to a much bigger conversation: should. By listening closely to language, energy, and even whathappens in someone’s body as they explore their options, a...

When someone asks, “What do you think I should do?” they may not actually be asking you to make the decision. They might be asking for reassurance, permission, certainty, encouragement, or simply a safe place to say what they are really thinking. In today’s episode, Michelle explores what happens when that question meets the Relational Coach. Trust and connection can create the safety someone need...

“What do you think I should do?” It sounds like such asimple question, but for a coach, it can open up a whole lot more. Do you give your opinion? Ask another question? Toss it right back to them with, “Well, what do YOU think you should do?” and hope for the best? In today’s episode, Michelle explores what happens when thisquestion meets the Structured Coach. Protecting someone’s ownership of the...

What if seeing the same problem again doesn’t mean you’reback at the beginning? In today’s episode, Michelle explores what happens when a recurring problem meets the Integrated Coach. Growth isn’t always linear. Sometimes we notice sooner, recover faster, stay stuck for less time, or make a different choice even while an old pattern is still trying to get our attention. Integrated Coaching isn’t a...

What if the behavior that makes absolutely no sense from theoutside makes perfect sense from the inside? In today’s episode, Michelle explores what happens when a recurring problem meets the Transformational Coach. Instead of asking, “Why do you keep doing this?” we become curious aboutthe beliefs underneath the pattern. Sometimes accountability and care have been placed onopposite sides of the eq...

What if the problem that keeps showing up isn’t really theproblem at all? In today’s episode, Michelle explores what happens when a recurring problem meets the Skillful Coach. Instead of treating each situation as an isolated event, this coach begins listening across conversations, noticing repeated language, behaviors, commitments, and responses that may reveal a larger pattern. But noticing the...

What happens when someone keeps bringing back the sameproblem, but the problem might not actually be the whole story? In today’s episode, Michelle explores what changes when a recurring problem meets the Relational Coach. Instead of jumping straight into another solution, this coachslows down long enough to ask what the experience is actually like for the person. Because empathy and accountability...

Have you ever had someone bring you the same problem again and thought, “Wait... didn’t we already do this?” In today’s episode, Michelle explores what happens when a recurring problem meets the Structured Coach. Sometimes another goal, another plan, and another action step are exactly what someone needs. But sometimes they already know what to do, and the real coaching opportunity is hiding in th...

Sometimes the wisest response is a deep question. Sometimes it is encouragement. Sometimes it is silence. And sometimes, for goodness’ sake, we just need to send the email. Growth does not always mean going deeper. Sometimes growth means knowing what this particular moment actually requires. We do not outgrow the simple things as we develop. We learnto use them differently. We become less interest...

Sometimes the thing we are trying to change makes perfectsense when we understand what is underneath it. Maybe you keep saying yes because somewhere along the way, being capable became connected to doing everything. Maybe you struggle to create boundaries because disappointingsomeone feels like evidence that you have failed. Maybe you keep pushing yourself because slowing down raises a much bigger...

Sometimes the problem we are trying to solve is not actuallythe problem. Someone says they are overwhelmed, so we help them manage their time. They keep saying yes, so we help them organize theircalendar. They have too much to do, so we help them prioritize. All useful things. Unless the real problem has nothing to do with time. Maybe underneath all that busyness is a fear ofdisappointing someone....

There is a difference between making someone feel safe andmaking sure they never feel uncomfortable. That distinction matters. When someone we care about is struggling, our instinct maybe to rescue them. We reassure. We soften. We fill the silence. We try to make the uncomfortable feeling disappear. But sometimes discomfort is doing important work. Maybe the person already knows they need to say n...

What happens inside you when someone responds to athoughtful question with three little words: “I don’t know”? Sometimes our instinct is to jump in. Ask another question. Offer some choices. Explain what we meant. Rescue the conversation. Anything to fill that slightly uncomfortable space. But what if “I don’t know” isn’t a problem to solve? Sometimes it means, “I’ve never thought about this befor...

After a whole week of learning different ways to helppeople, we arrive at Level Five of the Five Levels of Coaching and the wonderfully frustrating answer: it depends! Sometimes people need a question, sometimes connection, sometimes a challenge, and sometimes they need us tolovingly hush and sit beside them. Real mastery isn’t having one perfect way to help. It’s having a whole toolbox and enough...

What if the challenge in front of you isn’t only asking youto do something different, but to become someone different? In this episode, we explore Level Four of the Five Levels of Coaching and the move from awareness into transformation. Because the job, the relationship, the conflict, or even that dreaded algebra class might be about something much bigger than solving today’s problem. Sometimes l...

What if the thing you keep trying to fix isn’t actually theproblem? Plot twist! In this episode, we explore Level Three of the Five Levels of Coaching and the power of getting curious about the patterns underneath our problems. Instead of rushing toward an answer, what might happen if we askedbetter questions, noticed what keeps repeating, and allowed awareness to reveal something we couldn’t see...

What if the person you’re trying so hard to help doesn’tactually need your solution? Ouch. Sometimes people don’t need us to fix the problem, make the discomfort disappear, or share the brilliant story about how we handled something similar. Sometimes they simply need a safe place to tellthe truth. In this episode, we explore Level Two of the Five Levels of Coaching and the power of helping someon...

Ever have someone share a problem and your brain immediately jumps in with, “Oh! I know what you should do!” Welcome to being human. In this episode, we explore Level One of the Five Levels of Coaching and what can happen when we resist the urge to fix and instead ask a question that helps someone think for themselves. Sometimes the best help isn’t having the answer. It’s helping someone discover...

Big dreams need more than passion. They need fuel. In thisepisode, Michelle shares the dream underneath so much of her work: helping 10,000 education coaches reach transformational levels of coaching and creating a ripple effect throughout education that cannot be undone. She also gets very real about something we sometimes hesitate to say out loud: meaningful missions need money, people, systems,...