Cartridge Cinema Club

Uve Boll owes me the money I spent on headache medicine watching his shit-ass movie.

Alex and Mark have convened at Triple C HQ to hold a meeting with the secret society of elders and watch a mediocre late 2010s action movie with bad politics.

If he says you're his Ramona Flowers you better get the fuck out of there.

The angry birds drink piss and commit genocide in the angry birds movie.

We are here to unironically argue that the Animal Crossing movie is a lesbian romantic comedy.

Open this article: https://kotaku.com/this-is-probably-the-movie-version-of-sonic-the-hedgeho-1833048785 Stare at it for the duration of the podcast. Internalize it. Know this face. You will not soon forget it.

This week we watched Silent Hill, the tragic story of a man with a triangle-shaped face trying to make it in a world of square-shaped holes.

This week we watched everyone's favorite horny musical, Donkey Kong Country.

If you're like me, you've spent your entire life waiting for a movie where The Rock can talk to gorillas. Girls and gays, this is our time.

Do you like the color gray? Do you? You better. Its all this movie has.

This week we watched the world's first video game movie, and girls and gays, holy shit, we've actually watched a good film.

The Legend of Zelda cartoon is single-handedly responsible for the downfall of western civilization and we are here to prove it.

We have entered the world. the sick, twisted world of Uve Boll, and girls and gays, I fear its too late to turn back.

We dreamed of making two cynical mid-twenties podcast hosts feel a genuine emotion...and we succeeded.

its fuckin late and ive been editing the podcast for two hours and no one reads the descriptions anyway ythis week we watched a movie about fast cars vroom vroom haha whee

Do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he's created here on earth?

We're gonna talk about the dumb kung fu movie but y'all something FUCKED UP happened last week.

Never in your life will you be more disappointed to not see a man get his heart ripped out of his chest,

This week on Cartridge Cinema Club, we watched fucking Pixels.

A man watches his child get brutally murdered in front of him in this movie and you feel absolutely nothing while it happens.

The Detective Pikachu trailer was released last week and Mark and Alex are having a collective out-of-body experience, followed by nearly an hour of exasperated discussion on The Rock's least favorite movie, "Doom".

After Alex takes up a solid minute failing to remember how to say "framing device", the crew spends an entire episode digging into the absolutely appalling gender politics of 2007's "Hitman".

Everything remains entirely under control this week as Mark and Alex are able to vividly recall the plot and characters of "Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children" in exquisite detail.

This week, Mark and Alex spend 45 minutes trying and failing to express how they felt during the bewildering and harrowing experience that is watching 1993's infamous communist propaganda film "Super Mario Bros."

This week, Mark and Alex tackle the 2001 "classic", Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, with a focus on the objectification of women in video games and the strange surrealist appeal of early 2000s CGI.