Canon Brawl

Welcome back to Canon Brawl! Let's leave our tailored suits and barcode tattoos behind, we’re trading in modern espionage for swords, sorcery, and... Jason Statham throwing a boomerang. This week, we return to the Uwe Boll well as we unpack his absolutely baffling 2007 star-studded fantasy adaptation of the Dungeon Siege franchise, In the Name of the King . We follow the aptly named "Farm...

Welcome back to Canon Brawl! After surviving the unapologetic chaos of Postal , we’re trading in our Krotchy dolls for tailored suits, red ties, and barcode tattoos. This week, we ditch the stealth approach and go loud as we unpack Xavier Gens’ 2007 action-heavy adaptation of the beloved gaming franchise Hitman . We’re tracking Agent 47 (Timothy Olyphant, doing his absolute best with a freshly sha...

Welcome back to Canon Brawl! After a two-week detour—thanks to a sick-day clips episode, a massive three-hour Summer Game Fest spectacular, and a very real, very thinly-veiled attempt to avoid the inevitable—we are finally out of excuses. This week, we descend into the absolute chaos of Uwe Boll’s 2007 cinematic fever dream: Postal . We’re following the Postal (SCUT FARKUS) Dude as his spectacular...

Welcome back to Canon Brawl! We’re stepping out of the viewing room and hitting pause on our video game movie marathon this week. Why? Because a massive wave of gaming news just dropped, and we couldn't resist diving straight into the hype! Join Jason and Kyle for the ultimate recap as we tackle every single game revealed across all four major presentations at last week's Summer Game Fest. We’re g...

Welcome back to Canon Brawl! This week, Kyle had to call in sick, so we're trading our usual time in the viewing room for a special, way-too-early greatest hits compilation. Jason is flying solo in the host's chair, providing brand-new intros and interstitials to stitch together a highly curated collection of our most hilarious, off-the-rails moments. We’ve dug into the archives to pull out the ab...

Welcome back to Canon Brawl! This week we trade the ruined streets of Raccoon City for the sun-scorched, post-apocalyptic wasteland of the Mojave Desert to tackle the 2007 threequel: Resident Evil: Extinction . We’re following Alice as she joins forces with Claire Redfield’s heavily armed convoy of survivors, fighting their way through the sand-buried ruins of Las Vegas. We’re breaking down the mo...

Welcome back to Canon Brawl! We're watching every single video game movie ever made. This week we break down every scene on the sun-drenched, chaotic beaches of DOA Island for the 2006 fighting game movie adaptation: DOA: Dead or Alive . We’re following a fierce trio of fighters—Kasumi, Tina, and Christie—as they punch, kick, and backflip their way through a top-secret, invite-only martial art...

Welcome back to Canon Brawl! We're watching every single video game movie ever made. Step into the fog and listen for the air raid sirens as we descend into the terrifying, ash-covered streets of the 2006 survival horror movie adaptation: Silent Hill . We’re following Rose Da Silva on her desperate search for her missing daughter through a town trapped in purgatory. We’re breaking down Radha Mitch...

Welcome back to Canon Brawl ! We're watching every single video game movie ever made. Sharpen your blades and prepare for a journey into 18th-century Romania as we sink our teeth into the 2005 supernatural action-horror movie: BloodRayne . We’re tracking the dhampir Rayne on her blood-soaked quest for vengeance against her father, the vampire King Kagan. We’re breaking down Kristanna Loken’s turn...

Welcome back to Canon Brawl! Lock and load your BFGs and step through the Ark, because we’re blasting our way through the dark corridors of the 2005 sci-fi action staple: Doom . We’re venturing into the UAC’s quarantined Olduvai Research Facility on Mars to discuss Andrzej Bartkowiak’s controversial take on the grandfather of all first-person shooters. We’re breaking down Karl Urban’s gritty turn...

Welcome back to Canon Brawl! Drop your green herbs and reload your shotguns, because we’re dropping our first-ever mini-bonus episode to tackle the internet's latest obsession: the brand-new trailer for Zach Cregger's Resident Evil . We’re venturing into the polarizing new vision from the director behind Barbarian and Weapons to discuss a teaser that has the survival horror community compl...

Welcome back to Canon Brawl ! Dim the lights and keep your flashlight handy because we’re diving deep into the shadows of the infamous 2005 supernatural thriller: Alone in the Dark . We’re venturing into the baffling world of director Uwe Boll to discuss one of the most notorious video game adaptations ever put to film. We’re breaking down Christian Slater’s turn as the paranormal investigator Edw...

Welcome back to Canon Brawl ! Lock and load your Berettas and prepare for a frantic dash through Raccoon City as we tackle the 2004 sequel: Resident Evil: Apocalypse . We’re dropping into the heart of the Hive’s aftermath to discuss the high-octane expansion of the Umbrella universe. We’re breaking down the pitch-perfect casting of Jill Valentine, the introduction of the legendary (and surprisingl...

Welcome back to Canon Brawl ! Reload your light guns and prepare for a pulse-pounding (and head-scratching) trip to Isla de la Muerte as we tackle the 2003 video game adaptation: House of the Dead . We’re braving the ultimate rave-turned-nightmare to discuss Uwe Boll’s infamous debut into the world of gaming cinema, the inexplicable decision to splice in literal arcade footage during gunfights, an...

Welcome back to Canon Brawl ! Grab your dual pistols and prepare for a global trek as we follow Angelina Jolie into the 2003 action-adventure sequel: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider – The Cradle of Life . We’re diving deep into underwater temples and wingsuiting off skyscrapers to discuss Lara’s race against time to find Pandora’s Box, a pre-fame Gerard Butler’s "charming rogue" energy, and the sheer auda...

Welcome back to Canon Brawl ! Descend into the Raccoon City underground with us to face the 2002 action-horror juggernaut that started a cinematic dynasty: Resident Evil . We’re navigating the twisty, sterile corridors of The Hive to discuss Alice’s amnesiac awakening, Michelle Rodriguez’s peak "tough-as-nails" energy, and a Red Queen who really isn't afraid to let the elevators drop. From the ico...

Welcome back to Canon Brawl ! Sync your bio-etheric signatures and prepare to save Earth as we tackle the 2001 CGI milestone that promised to change cinema forever: Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within . We’re boarding the Black Boa to discuss Dr. Aki Ross’s groundbreaking (and slightly uncanny) digital debut, a star-studded voice cast featuring a very intense Alec Baldwin and a classic Steve Buscemi...

Welcome back to Canon Brawl ! Grab your dual pistols and prepare to raid some ancient ruins as we tackle the 2001 action spectacle that brought one of gaming’s biggest icons to the big screen: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider . We’re diving into the tombs to discuss Angelina Jolie’s pitch-perfect casting, the confusingly high stakes of the Illuminati’s quest for the Triangle of Light, and a pre-Bond Daniel...

Welcome back to Canon Brawl ! Strap in and prepare to jump into deep space as we tackle the 1999 sci-fi odyssey that proved even the creator can’t always save the source material: Wing Commander . We’re diving into the cockpit to discuss the "submarines in space" physics, and the infamous Kilrathi —who were... certainly something. From the "Pilgrim" subplot that came out of nowhere to the acting c...

Welcome back to Canon Brawl! Brace yourselves for total "Animality" as we tackle the 1997 sequel that proved sometimes, victory comes with a very heavy price: Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. We’re diving deep into the chaotic production that replaced almost the entire cast, upped the stakes to world-ending proportions, and gave us CGI dragons that looked… well, let’s just say the 90s were a difficult...

Welcome back to Canon Brawl ! For the next leg of our quest to review every video game movie ever made, we test our might against the 1995 cult favorite, Mortal Kombat . How did the ultra-violent arcade sensation transform into a PG-13 cinematic staple of the mid-90s? We’re breaking down the "flawless victory" of Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa’s iconic Shang Tsung, the choice to cast Christopher Lambert as...

Welcome back to Canon Brawl ! For the third stop on our quest to review every video game movie ever made, we’re trading the neon ruins of New Angeles for the geopolitical chaos of Shadaloo. It’s time to face the 1994 cult classic Street Fighter . How did Capcom’s legendary fighting game transform into a campy, high-stakes military ensemble led by a very intense Jean-Claude Van Damme and a legendar...

Welcome back to Canon Brawl ! For the second stop on our massive quest to review every video game movie ever made, we’re trading the brothers for... the brothers, and heading into the post-apocalyptic, neon-soaked ruins of New Angeles: the 1994 martial arts odyssey, Double Dragon . How did a straightforward arcade beat-'em-up about rescuing a girlfriend from a street gang become a campy, water-log...

Welcome to the series premiere of Canon Brawl ! To kick off our 50-plus episode odyssey through every video game movie ever made, we are heading to Dinohattan to witness the birth of the genre: the 1993 live-action fever dream, Super Mario Bros. How did a game about jumping on mushrooms turn into a dystopian cyberpunk thriller involving de-evolution chambers and interdimensional fungus? We break d...