Dumb-Dumbs & Dice
Canada by Night a Vampire the Masquerade Podcast
Canada by Night is a live-play podcast where professional improvisers play Vampire the Masquerade! Sent to rescue his best friend’s kidnapped mother, detective-turned-vampire Everett Fry accidentally ends up the sheriff of New Haven: an experimental town that’s finding out if vampires and humans can co-exist. Stuck leading a ragtag group of officers - the Brujah bounty hunter Val, the Gangrel news reporter Evangeline, and the Tremere blood-witch Doris - can Everett keep New Haven running? Or will the sheriff’s department fail and see the town destroyed by its enemies or liquidated by the vampi...
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Episodes
4.54 - Fundamentally Bad 07.07.2026 47:59
The coterie pursued Detective Keighley back to the bar. Everett briefly tried to commiserate with him and quickly left in the hopes that the detective would mull it over, but whereas none of the other cops had believed Keighley before, Everett’s presence lent legitimacy to his concerns. The coterie peeled out before a fight could begin, and Everett called the Prince to request Unity’s help, which...
4.53 - Fraying Threads 30.06.2026 50:44
The coterie made plans with Detective Keighley to meet at a cop bar in Eavesgrove. When Everett and Val entered the bar, however, Keighley confronted Martha, who panicked, tried to made him forget the last few minutes, and ran. While Martha texted Val, Keighley recovered and took off, more determined than ever to find answers. Martha used ritual magic to find him, but the coterie must now choose w...
4.52 - The Shield 23.06.2026 50:11
As the next evening began, Val bought a box set of What We Do in the Shadows for Will to try to cheer him up, and Martha once again arranged for Matthew Sumner to watch over Thea. Everett, meanwhile, found out from Barty and Troy that the ghoul experience might not be that bad for his father if he could keep him mostly out of harm’s way. With Unity away on a special assignment for the Prince, the...
4.51 - The Ghoul Experience 16.06.2026 54:43
Val and Everett questioned Mayor Mike Kardashian, Martha scried his soul, and Unity looked into his social media analytics. They realized that the first mindwipe had worked, but he had simply repeatedly posted about a variety of topics until the mention of missing people grabbed his constituents’ attention and they started asking questions again. The coterie paid him to tailor his post to topics o...
4.50 - Changing the Narrative 09.06.2026 53:31
The coterie met with Mayor Kardashian. Martha posed as a social media consultant and learned that his goal was to become the President of the United States, but she forgot to ask about the missing people. Everett and Val used Unity’s bitcoin to buy the suits of the political advisors who were supposed to meet with the mayor next, but when they arrived at the mayor’s door, the original consultants...
4.49 - Visionary 02.06.2026 55:11
As a new evening fell, Val checked in on Will, Everett tried to convince his parents to move into the Family Protection Building, and Martha noticed inexplicable phenomena happening in her kitchen and grew more concerned about Thea. The coterie heard that their mission to turn Elena Marlowe’s attention toward the mine was successful, and they headed out to visit Mayor Kardashian next. Unity hacked...
4.48 - You’re Not Welcome 26.05.2026 58:08
At the Sykes Mine, the coterie donned company uniforms, Unity hacked into the security system, and they found where the mine’s owner was staying on-site. Having learned that the owner was violently targeting pro-union organizers, Val mangled and buried the corpse they had brought and Everett used Ben Chris Gouter’s hand to plant evidence he had been there as a whistleblower. Martha then had Arwin...
4.47 - The Underhanded Weasel 19.05.2026 54:58
The coterie discussed how best to use the evidence from Anti-Corpse to put an end to Elena Marlowe’s search for the truth about her husband. Ultimately, they decided to plant evidence of a mining accident, implicate the mine’s union busters, and use their detective in Plainsville to point Elena in the direction of the corrupt local police. As they enter the grounds of the Sykes Mining Company, can...
4.46 - The Sykes Mining Company 12.05.2026 52:01
The coterie dealt with the fallout of their bestial failures. Unity distracted herself from her hunger by scouring the web and found even more instances of the religious graffiti. Val and Everett destroyed Raldoron Twixt’s car so it wouldn’t lead the authorities to New Haven, and the next morning, they talked through the experience and came to an understanding. Martha, meanwhile, grew concerned ab...
4.45 - Struck a Nerve 05.05.2026 52:40
While Unity’s car charged, Everett and Martha borrowed one from Raldoron Twixt and pursued Val into Plainsville. Val took advantage of her headstart, broke into the house of her target, Detective Cain, roughed him up, and stole his phone. Outside, Everett was waiting, and they faced off, both at the mercy of their beasts. Val relented when the sheriff triggered memories of her father, but when Mar...
4.44 - Rhinestone Cowboy 28.04.2026 49:47
The coterie made their decision about Elena Marlowe. After Unity discovered that Ben had been in Elena’s life for far longer than a memory wipe could touch, they decided to plant evidence of his death instead. Unity fought her compulsion inside a locked cell, and Everett and Val acquired the physical evidence from Anti-Corpse. But as they considered who in law enforcement they could use in their r...
4.43 - Three Teeth and Some Hair 21.04.2026 49:08
Val, Everett, and Martha regrouped with Unity, who sent them back to Elena Marlowe with a tracker, which Everett managed to place on her jacket. Martha took the opportunity to read Elena’s aura and determined that her resistance to the mindwipes was driven by her love for her husband and the depth of his impact on her life, so Val suggested that implanting a memory of what happened to her husband,...
4.42 - Love Endures 14.04.2026 50:27
The coterie made their way to a vigil in Hillmont to investigate Elena Marlowe, a figure seemingly at the centre of the failed mindwipes in the community. Val began to wonder if the Second Inquisition was involved, as they noticed religious warnings graffitied around the area, so Unity stayed in the car to research their recent activity. When Val, Martha, and Everett finally found Elena Marlowe, t...
4.41 - They Watch You, We Watch Them 07.04.2026 54:41
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4.40 - Not Just a Killer 31.03.2026 50:22
The coterie began looking into the failing mindwipes. While Everett reviewed the coroner’s reports on the cult victims, Unity discovered that three people from surrounding communities were at the centre of the recurring memories. Everett wanted to bring them to New Haven, but Val pushed back and they were left at an impasse. Martha then read Everett’s aura without his consent, which he forbade her...
4.39 - Centres of Influence 24.03.2026 1:03:25
After the events at the farm, the coterie reconnected with their loved ones. Val checked in on Will, who continued to make his case for becoming kindred, Martha and Thea boosted each other up, and Everett awoke feeling ashamed of what he had done. Voticia Maddams arrived at the department, calling in her favour, for the Malkavians had wiped the minds of the people affected by the recent abductions...
4.38 - The Muscle and the Heart 17.03.2026 54:23
Caught in a firefight with the Genovese mafia, the coterie had precious few moments to prevent their enemies from escaping. Val rammed the bus into the boss’s car before jumping in to help Everett, Troy took out several mafiosos as Martha hyped him up, and Everett chased down Torino Antony and put a very final end to the confrontation. The coterie finally slept in graves, having repaid one favour....
4.37 - Camarilla vs. Genovese 26.08.2025 51:47
The coterie prepared to ambush the Genovese farm using the mafia’s own bus. Martha sent Arwin ahead to do recon and set up scarecrows in the bus, topped with severed heads, Val and Bessily hid inside waiting to attack, and Everett and Martha followed behind by car. Their captive and bus driver, Torino, talked his way through the gate and immediately gunned it forward to take out as many mafiosos a...
4.36 - Bring Me the Heads 19.08.2025 57:45
The coterie’s captive, Torino, answered the call from the Genovese boss. They learned the mafia’s farm was expecting a bus to return, so the coterie decided to find it and use it themselves to ambush the compound. While they planned, Genovese called again to demand the reason for the delay, and Torino panicked and claimed they had found gold on the property and were loading it onto the bus. How wi...
4.35 - Don’t Get Hungrier 12.08.2025 59:36
The coterie gave chase to their fleeing enemies. Val’s beast drained one and fully satisfied her hunger before she took another one captive, Martha subdued one by clouding his memory, and Everett captured a third. After Everett eliminated one to scare the others, Val interrogated a very cooperative prisoner who revealed that the mafia’s farm was a front, they had been sent to take out Collins Farm...
4.34 - Eat and Cool Off 05.08.2025 50:46
After some initial investigation, Everett and Val got the impression that Nikgen Farms was merely a mortal operation, but Martha and Troy ran back, alerting them to armed assailants approaching from the corn. The enemies refused Everett’s call to stand down and the sheriff gave the order to subdue them. Val used her bare hands, and Martha proved to be effective with a firearm and her ability to mo...
4.33 - The Darkness in the Corn 29.07.2025 52:06
Rowan McGee called in the favour owed to the Gangrel clan and asked the sheriff to deal with a hostile mortal agricultural business interfering with the clan’s corn harvest. Everett, Val, Martha, and Troy headed out of town to Collins Farm, hoping for diplomacy but prepared for violence. They learned from the owner, Bessily Collins, that the mortal business, Nikgen Farms, was owned by the Genovese...
4.32 - The Gangrel Favour 22.07.2025 55:20
As the coterie returned to their usual work, Val struggled with how to handle her father’s fate and Will’s despondency. After an uncomfortable phone call with her ex, she had her first therapy session with Martha, who read Val’s complicated aura and began to plan a more tailored approach to helping her. Meanwhile, Everett reviewed all their reports on the Children of Lilith and realized how little...
4.31 - Emotional Labour 15.07.2025 56:11
On the day of the funeral for the fallen officers, an extremely pregnant Martha revealed that she cycles through three aspects of the divine feminine: maiden, mother, and crone. After a difficult service, Martha sensed Everett and Val’s guilt and frustration over the mortal officers they had lost and she suggested they find a way to blow off steam. In the end, all of the officers and their familie...
4.30 - I Wish I Knew Them Better 08.07.2025 50:33
Martha accompanied Val to the Family Protection Building, but before considering moving in, she cleansed the vibes of the empty apartments while Val quickly packed up what Evangeline left behind. Martha cleansed Val’s apartment too, but when the ritual ran long, she stayed overnight. Everett meanwhile became frustrated with his father for oversimplifying everything, and so Everett left to drink an...
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