Can We Steal You for a Second?

Is there a hierarchy division between Golden widows and divorcees? Would you rather your spouse die or leave you to start a new family? Did producers pre-plan the yacht date game or throw a hail mary? Does Mark know he’s hot? Just normal questions being asked on this week’s recap of the Golden Bachelorette!  Support the show

Whatever happened to a group of men wanting to join together in a sea shanty?! Justice for Kim! This week the fuckboys rise: Jonathan and Pascal…we have our eyes on you. As always, there is more than enough charm and wonder to lift the spirits for Joan in her Golden years of dating.  Support the show

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Joan and her highly eligible bachelors start their ~journey~ with a hot start! We discuss generational differences, Frank Sinatra, and lessons learned for aging and approaching life.  Support the show

Are we getting older or are these guys substantially hotter than Jenn’s cast?! Join us as we set out to judge them based on their potential as father-in-laws and end up objectifying them for ourselves…. Support the show

We can confidently say that this was the most emotionally painful finale we’ve seen. It’s barely a silver lining because she didn’t seem to have much agency in the matter, but Jenn put it all out there, and we commend her for it. Devin, if we ever catch you, it’s on SIGHT.  Support the show

Pardon our tardiness…the entire podcast team was off celebrating the wedding of Camille and John! We had to start with a recap, plus some funny tea. Then, we largely discuss our favorite episode of the year: Fantasy Suites. Jenn is down BAD for Marcus, who will probably never feel the same (sad :( ), Devin has secured some new haters with this selfish behavior, and Jonathan is just chilling like t...

After a ROUGH 1:1 showing from Sam last week, Grant and Jonathan helped revive our faith in this cast having…a drop or two of juice. But each week, Jenn shows more and more her inability to put both men in their place…and Cary, the infamous Bachelor stylist. She is too pretty and serves too much body to be wearing these bedazzled tablecloths!  Support the show

It’s a bad week to be a Sam! Just what the world needed: an emboldened, hopped-up-on-adrenaline, life-coach wannabe ass Sam M. While Sam N may be misguided and irritating, they’ll still never make us like you, Thomas. Plus, Jenn’s less toxic ex returns on a direct flight from ghosting a wedding in Cartegna to Auckland. Red flags everywhere!  Support the show

Girl…Jenn…listen to the Australian Bachelorettes who came before you…listen to the context…do not let the tall man who knows he’s hot (some are saying) sway you!!! Acknowledge what came before you!!!  Support the show

Jenn and her mid-tier guys are in Melbourne in this unprecedented early trip away from LA. What isn’t unprecedented is her gravitation towards some obvious front-runners…as it tends to be with female leads. Also typical…of men…is that they send some red flags. Best of luck, xoxo and at least enjoy the fantasy suite!  Support the show

We are back and ready to listen to our intuition to make wild assumptions! This isn’t our first rodeo: the men on The Bachelorette consistently disappoint us, and this is shaping up to be no different. But at least there will be some characters and petty drama along the way, too! Wishing for a Jenn learns how to turn a man down redemption arc, expecting a Jenn on one knee proposing outcome.  Suppo...

We are SOOOO back! Missing the mic as we take well over an hour to get to the actual meat of the episode: a brief swipe left/right on Jenn’s cast (based on wedding date potential). Otherwise, we discuss weddings, the future of our democracy, Summer House, the rumors about Nick Viall’s marriage, and much more. We’ve missed you all so much, and the premiere is soon upon us!  Support the show

Joey boy, you’ve done it. Perfect lead, perfect season! Dark-horse winner, self-control, maintained popularity, and a tears-worth proposal. Enjoy a nuanced take on an untraditional final day; we loved the powerful intuition but hated the risk of involving Kelsey. Just let them get engaged! Our next Bachelorette is a happy surprise, just like the best ones. See you this summer, Jenn!  Support the s...

Every season, we have hope for the black sheep to rise, and every season, we are met with the same outcome: an indifferent blonde F1. Always just as we get 100% on board with the runner-up. Tune in for an in-depth analysis of Rachel’s mishandling of her injury, Kelsey’s intuition, and Daisy’s self-absorption.  Support the show

Joey travels to restaurants, historical centers, and the Inland Empire for what used to be known as “Hometowns.” It’s best behavior week as everyone puts on their best interview self and hides their true feelings. We still got some memorable…and dare we say hot…family members! Who would you give your final rose, friend zone, fantasy suite, and send home to between the four dads? Support the show

HATER ALERT!!! It’s us again, really getting some frustration out over the always inevitable Daisy, and the inevitable mistake the producers make in NOT making Maria the Bachelorette. Even though Maria made a massive miscalculation this week…we still ride for her. Kelsey A brings classic “everything seems great” F2 energy, and Whitney called Jenn’s cringe factor for Joey, even if she forgot about...

Is anyone going to ask Joey how HE is feeling out here?!?! Except we start the episode talking about our own problems (Camille broke her leg, Whitney is apartment hunting). This week, our love for Maria grows even deeper as we see the different sides of Joey she brings out. We make season predictions and discuss how his conversation with Lexi might impact his relationship with some of the women. ...

Joey’s hotness is bringing out all of the most feral of female relationship dynamics and we are living for it. Segmentation, us vs. them, subtle jabs, alliances, sex appeal as a tool of manipulation, and generations clashing, this season is providing ample to analyze. Especially when they slam us with two back-to-back episodes.  Support the show

The Maria v. Sydney duel is heating up, and we are fully Team Maria! This week also showed us a pretty meh 1-1 date, some group date opportunities for these charismatic ladies to show their chops, and some stars appearing amidst the mix. Conversation somehow finds its way to Taylor Swift as it is common to do, and we get into NFL gossip leading up to the Super Bowl. Pick me alert!  Support the sho...

Being in this Nation too long has really warped our brains, having us comparing and judging personal tragedies…but like get on with it!!! Joey really cranked the charm up this episode but we are still sleeping with one eye open…his secret side will show in due time. But we’re in for a great season because we have some true CHARACTERS out here!!! Also discussed: familial colloquialisms, our favorit...

Joey’s sparkling eyes and perfect curls have these girls drooling, just as Bachelor Nation intended! But Joey’s dimples don’t fool us…we see Joey’s other Gemini side, aided by revisiting our previous analysis theories from Charity’s season. He gets away with being a little nervous, a little cringed-out by puns, and very uninterested in most blondes by being so distractingly cute. We wrap up our di...

Hi everyone, we’re back for 2024 and hot Joey’s season! We get to know his cast of ladies by judging them based on whether we would select them from a Craiglist roommate posting. The true high-risk, high-reward pairing. Plus, our perception of Joey’s type and a recap on recent Bachelor Nation news, We’ve missed you!  Support the show

It’s the paradise reunion and we come in HOT with opposing views: Whitney loved it, Camille thinks it might be the last BIP ever. But there are several things we definitely agree with: Kylie is finally standing her ground and Aven needs to never be on our screens again, Kat finally showed her three-dimensional self and is growing into her best self, the producers need to be tried for their sins of...

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