Can We Get Your Number?

In this episode we introduce…The Instincts!  Ever wondered why your number doesn’t totally resonate with you?  Or maybe your number fits you to a T but you know someone who is your same number and they relate to life in a way that seems bananas to you?  It could be that figuring out your instinct will make everything fall neatly into place!  Join us as we deep dive into the Self Preservation Insti...

In this episode we are finishing off the triads with the Harmony Triad! The triad our numbers fall into here gives us great insight into how we relate to the big wide world, and from there we can learn how to get out of those relational patterns that keep kicking us in the junk.  Remember all of this is just a map to help you choose your own adventure and not a cage to trap you in the abyss of you...

In this episode we are diving into the Hornevian Triad! The triad our numbers are in give us insight into how we interact with others to get our needs met. The triads are as follows: Move Toward others (Compliant stance) - Numbers 1,2 and 6 Move away from others (Withdrawn stance) - Numbers 4, 5 and 9 Move against others (Assertive stance) - Numbers 3, 7 and 8 We will get into all the juicy detail...

This episode is all about the Harmonic Triads!  The Harmonic Triads categorize types by their coping mechanisms for conflict and disappointment.  If you have ever been in any relationship of any sort then you are likely no stranger to conflict AND disappointment!!! We talk all about the Positive Outlook triad (2,7,9 and newsflash, Kellie and Shiloh are in this one!!), the Competency Triad (1,3,5)...

In this episode, we do a surface level deep dive into all the pieces of the enneagram.  We give you a new definition of the enneagram and decide that the enneagram is just a map to lead you to yourself.  We talk about wings, stress and growth arrows, instincts, triads and how you can utilize all of this information to find balance in yourself and in your relationships.  We are crossing our fingers...

In this episode, we talk about cultivating beginners mind and how nobody is just how they are. We talk about how you get to be so many different you's in your lifetime and how your also partners get to be so many different them's. Beginners mind helps us stay open and curious about our partners over the course of our relationships, and each number has some areas where they might struggle.  We give...

In this episode we talk about Shiloh's creepy-ass house, Lily moving out, and how life is all transitions. We dive in to all things core values, including examples of potential core values for each Enneagram number, and how core values might also be things that point you toward growth or how you get your needs met. There is some crossover between core values and love styles. You can find out more...

In this episode we look at cohabitation! We explore what each number might need when sharing space with others. You will get a glimpse at what our own polycule cohabiting looks like and some tips for helping all the numbers in your ‘cule feel at home! We also add ‘cohabitation’ to the ever growing list of words we don’t like!!

In this episode, we have more tips and tricks to navigate security in polyamory. We talk about the challenges that might trigger the insecurity, specific strategies to find security based on your enneagram number, and affirmations tailored to each number. Shiloh and Kellie both get on the soapbox on this episode and we find out Kellie doesn't like the work encroach. Listen in to learn how to be an...

There was so much good info for this one that we had to split it into 2 parts!!  This week we will go over how polyamory brings up insecurity AND security and then we go through how each enneagram number seeks security in their relationships.  We talk about how to recognize your own security patterns based on your type. Listen for boundary sandwiches and surprise shoes.  And stayed tuned after the...

In this episode, we talk about contentment vs striving in relationships. We figure out how to find out if you are over-striving or over-contenting and what you can do about it based on your enneagram number. We invented the word "strowth" because Shiloh discovered she does not like the word "striving" so we combined the words "striving" and "growth" because that felt nicer.  You can find us on Sub...

In this episode we have special guest Emily on to talk about her and Kellie's new polyamorous adventures. We'll talk about exactly what they've been up to and why, and we'll see what it triggered for both through an enneagram lens. We'll also get in to how it's making their relationship even stronger! 

In this episode we talk about love languages vs. love styles and how they intersect and overlap with Gottman's 7 principles for making relationships work. We want you to be able to use both tools to make really good relationships of all kinds! We do our best to decide which love style each enneagram numbers might fall under. We also talk about doing White Elephant in July,  how Shiloh will wink th...

In this week's episode we talk about using journaling as a processing tool for some of the sticky emotions brought up by your out-of-the-box relationships. We give you lots of journal prompts to help you get to the juicy good stuff using your enneagram number to guide you! We also talk about the fuck it fifties, why podcasting at night isn’t for us,  how 2025 is the year we can do whatever we want...

Where we learn that YOU deserve brownie batter too, you get to lick the sides and lest you think that this entire goal episode is about brownies, that when you move your shoulders back and forth it means floaty. Enjoy these and many other ways to incorporate your enneagram into your relationship and relating goals!! https://bethkempton.com/kokoro-2/ And stick around to the very end to listen to ou...

In this episode we are going to be going through all the numbers to discuss what each one might need in order to have a fulfilling and fun poly holiday experience! We even have special guests Randy and Emily to talk about their own numbers! 

In this episode, we talk about outgoing fun-loving 7s. Also known as the Enthusiast. We discuss how everyone's lost childhood message is still hidden inside of them, and that some things in relationship cannot be fixed. 

Join us in this episode as we interview Kellie's wife, Emily, and do a deep dive on enneagram number 6! We talk about how Emily is scared, the polycule is recruiting for numbers 8, 3, and 4, and that Kellie can't stop scissoring!

In this episode we do a deep dive into 5s, the observer. We discover that 5s are energy conservationists, very equanimous (maybe this word is made up), objective, and it’s likely they don’t think you are stupid. We discuss our break from recording in September and how much we want you to have a gentle lovely time being polyamorous. Enjoy!

Join us this week as we deep dive into Enneagram #4. We will be talking to our special guest Alyssa and getting in to all the dirt on needing to feel special, when hikes go awry, and being non-monogamous as a single parent. 

In this episode we are on location in beautiful Pioneer, CA for our 3rd annual poly ‘camping’ trip!  And we introduce all of our weirdos!

In this episode, We learn what a paragon is, decide that we might have openings in the family for enneagrams 3, 4, and 8, and why you need a 3 to calendar for your polycule. Also here is the link to get your own mini dip! Minidip.com

In this episode of Can We Get Your Number, we do a deep dive into Kellie's number - Enneagram 2. We'll get in to why she wants to be loved by the world, the torture of not being able to help, and how to stay out of the web of neglect. We also talk about how polyamory is just a different type of hard than monogamy and why we choose this kind of hard.

Number one this week, we do a deep dive into Enneagram number one. Our special guest is Randy J. Warner, the podcast producer and Mr. Shiloh. We talk about frosting, Wild Boyz, and Randy finds out he is actually a 1 when he thought he was a 9.  Join us for this super fun and funny interview!

In this episode, Kellie and Shiloh do a deep dive into Enneagram 9. Shiloh is the resident 9 and she gets in to all the details on what it's like to be a peacemaker. She talks about why she doesn't want to be annihilated, how trauma combined with anxious attachment is a shit sandwich, and how probably everyone hates her. It's good, juicy stuff!