Camp Wild Heart

When parents bring their kids to see us at Wildheart Society, sometimes they show up scared. Scared of what this means for their kid, of what it means for their relationship, and underneath it, really they’re afraid of change. Most people have a hard time with change; so I get it. But what I like to remind parents is that their child has chosen to invite them in as they are living as their most au...

In today’s episode, we have a parent story from mom, Shannon.  Shannon comes from conservative roots and is mom to three boys and a trans daughter. Our conversation follows her journey of doing her own healing work so that she could be the kind of mom she really wanted and needed to be for her daughter. I’m so grateful she agreed to share her story with us about how important it is to be brave and...

So many of us are trying so hard to protect our kids from failure of any kind. Getting it wrong and having regrets is scary! Of course we want to protect our kids from that. But really, when we hover over their homework or swoop in with a plan to fix it when they're struggling, we're protecting ourselves from our anxieties about being a good enough parent. There's kind of no better time to fail th...

Recently, a friend invited me to a comedy show and as we watched the set, I was delighted to find that the performer and I had a bunch of similarities. Camp-themed show? Check. Preacher’s kid? Check. Raising money for queer youth? Check. We even look kind of similar, if you don’t count that she’s a foot taller than I am. I had to take a shot at the merch table. Lucky for me, along with being treme...

You may be aware that there is a significant overlap between neurodivergence and transness. So today, I’m talking with a guest who is both an expert in neurodivergence–and he’s autistic himself–and a parent of queer and trans children. Sol Smith is a social media creator and author of the book The Autistic's Guide to Self-Discovery: Flourishing as a Neurodivergent Adult. Much of his work focuses o...

There is so much misinformation about trans people out there, and a lot of the kids and families I work with have people in their lives who simply do not understand what these kids are going through. But I don't think anyone is a lost cause. Almost everyone is capable of learning and growing. I reached out to today's guests because I wanted to discuss the experience of having a transgender kid whi...

Today, we're catching up with my friend, and friend of the podcast, Flint Del Sol. Last time Flint was here, his life looked very different than it does today. He was mid-transition, using they/them pronouns, had just started testosterone, and was still teaching. Since then, he's come out, transitioned in public on his social media profiles, survived doxxings, and received bomb threats at the scho...

We’re back! To kick off this new season, I invited back the last person I had on the show before my break. Mitch joins me again to share what the last couple of years have been like as his family adjusted to their move to Washington from Texas in support of their trans daughter.  We talked about the difficult transition they experienced, having left behind a strong community ties because he feared...

Hello, friends. Have you missed me? After a longer than originally intended break from this podcast, I am back and I am ready. The world is scary right now and I want to show up here to support the Wild Heart community. I'm always thrilled to get to be a part of your journey in whatever way I have been. We have a great season coming up for you. You're going to hear from some old and new friends of...

We’ve talked before about voting for your kid, and the rafts of legislation that are directed at taking away rights from trans people and trans kids. Even here in the Pacific Northwest, kids and their families are scared. As of  recording on August 15th, 2023, there were 358 active pieces of anti-trans legislation in 49 states. That doesn't include the 80 bills that were already passed, and it doe...

So often when I talk to parents about their children’s decision or request to transition, parents express concern that their child will regret their decision, and that their child’s regret will come back on them as parents.  In fact, I’ve worked with a number of parents who have said, “They can do whatever they want when they’re 18, but I’m not going to be responsible for any regrets that they hav...

Transphobia is all around us, and often inside us.  As parents, we face it in everyday conversations with colleagues, family members, and friends. Our kids face it in school from peers, teachers, and friends. Over the years, the biggest concern I hear about raising a transgender child isn’t about the medical stuff, it’s fears about the way the world will treat that child. We know it’s not all goin...

Remember that time before you were a parent and you thought you at least had some clue what you were getting into and that you’d be good at it? I know I did. I knew it wasn’t all snuggles and giggles and that it would be a lot of hard work, but caring for others is part of my wiring. Of course, none of us are really prepared for what waits for us in parenthood. Even after you’ve had your first kid...

“How do we know this is about gender and not body image? Doesn’t everyone feel uncomfortable in their body at that age?” I get these questions from parents all the time. And my answer is this: body image is about being dissatisfied with how we look along with unobtainable beauty standards. Body dysphoria is about the cues their body sends to the world about how to interact with and treat them, how...

Every single one of us has a body. People are complex and our bodies are no different. Some of us feel at home in our bodies, while others of us do not, and it’s not always because of gender. Difficult emotions can play a significant role in this disconnect, as well as trauma and its impact on the body. And having a disability, disease, or other condition can further strain the connection with the...

Toxic masculinity is more than a buzzword. Toxic masculinity is part of the gender training we receive starting in childhood, where we learn the rules about how to be a man or a lady. Man up. Boys don’t cry. And it hurts all of us. Toxic masculinity is a narrow and repressive description of manhood and frankly, I’m surprised more men aren’t pissed about it. What does that have to do with raising a...

There are so many things about our lives that are gendered. And some of those things are a lot more important and hold more cultural significance than we realize–that is until we have kid who comes out as trans, and then all of that privilege you had and all the mental energy you didn’t have to spend on thinking about all the ways in which the world wasn’t set up for your transgender kid is gone. ...

Get ready for part two of my conversation with Flint. If you haven’t listened to part one, hit pause and give it a listen, then come back for part two. In this episode, we’re continuing our conversation about creating a safe and supportive space for trans kids, and the trans adults they need in their lives to show them that they will be fine, and that what they are experiencing is normal. Flint is...

We have all heard and experienced how different school is now from when we were kids. It’s a whole different world.  And while I could easily be referring to school policies and the way that kids are taught math - I’m not. I’m referring to the social universe and obstacle course that kids navigate day in and day out.  And one of the hardest things about that change is that it doesn’t really end wh...

You never know how people are gonna react to your child's coming out and socially transitioning. I wish there was a clear indicator that I could give you that says, these are the ones who will support you, and these are the ones who are going to get spooked and do really ugly things. If that thing exists, I haven't discovered it yet. I've seen families who are progressive and open-minded about oth...

I think we’ve all been in that place with our kids where they are clearly going through something big - something with friends, something with sex, mental health, transness, something that makes your parent heart go “Oh god - I need more information about this so I can help and protect and make sure that nothing bad happens to them.”  So you put out the bid for connection and try to engage in the...

When I was a kid, nobody talked to me at all about queer people, except maybe to tell me that they were sinful and going to hell. I don’t think I really even started to learn about queerness in any way other than the negative until I was in high school. And even then, it wasn’t exactly what I would call affirming. And I know my experience isn’t uncommon. Times have really changed when it comes to...

Coming out is an age old tradition for queer kids. Some even think of it as a right of passage. But what we don’t really consider is how emotionally taxing it is for the person doing the coming out. What we don’t realize is that by even having this cultural set up, we’re creating a world where our kids are othered. Wouldn’t it be lovely if we didn’t have to come out and we could just be ourselves...

Parenthood is a state of nonstop learning and adapting. I love being my kids' mom more than anything. And it's a good thing I like a challenge because it is also the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  Parenting is hard for so many reasons - even when you’ve got a neurotypical, cisgender kid with no mental health issues. Parenting a neurospicy, gender expansive kid is a whole other level of challenging...

Have you ever had the experience where you open your mouth to speak, and the voice that comes out of your mouth is barely recognizable? Or have you ever heard yourself on a recording and thought, “Whoa! Is that what I sound like?!”  These experiences aren’t exactly the same as the gender dysphoria many trans people experience in their lives, but they are as close as I can get to helping you connec...