Caleb Can't Read

Send us Fan Mail Well if there's one thing we can say about James Joyce, is that he could "smell" success coming a mile away...  It's that he was having a "gas"...  He was-- He...  Look, the man loved farts.  For the minuscule amount of his life that I'm sure he ever mentioned it, James Joyce's kink has filled up like, half the trivia section on his Wikipedi...

Send us Fan Mail TW: Child Abuse; The sky opens. The sun gleans through a break in the clouds. A trumpet sounds. It's actually a huge fart.  Anyway here's the first part of James Joyce.

Send us Fan Mail Come hither!  And listen to the tale of the man behind the story of A-noos, the hero of the "Aeneid", and the writer of the legend itself, Virgil!

Send us Fan Mail Homer himself won't be too much of a subject here, as he didn't exist, and we still wouldn't know enough about him if we did.  However, you can still listen as we discuss one of the earliest and most batshit stories attributed to him.  Uncap your 40's in honor of every parking lot you ever peed in, it's "The Odyssey"!

Send us Fan Mail Today we discuss the tale of the great blind poet, Homer!  Or rather the myth.  The rumor?  The strangely sexual gossip of the blind poet, Homer!  Yeah that's better.

Send us Fan Mail TW: Child Abuse, Pedophilia, Rape, Torture; For the man who's thought of every perversion possible, where else can you go but torture?  Come here us say "Holy shit" with special guest Sean, a guy we know.  Congratulations, you've made it this far, and for the season finale we've saved the absolute worst for last, the Marquis de Sade!

Send us Fan Mail You think you're tough?  How many houses have you set on fire for the cause? Coward. Anyway, here is the conclusion to the tale of a man who shouldn't be nearly revered as he is for his environmentalism: Edward Abbey!

Send us Fan Mail Scoop your coal and eat your dirt, it's time for the most conservationist-minded man to get deep, DEEEEP inside your pants and whoever else he feels like philanderin' along the way, naturalist writer Edward Abbey!

Send us Fan Mail TW: Alabama, the Holocaust in general; Alright, gonna level with you: it's another Anne Frank episode so the amount of canned laughter we're using on this one is gonna be at a minimum.

Send us Fan Mail I mean, you know what's coming.

Send us Fan Mail TW: Suicide, Torture; Join us for the tale of a (stalkish) man who wrote such a stunning and critical hit of a "fuck you" that there have been entire careers based of his one-hit diss track, "The Inferno".

Send us Fan Mail TW: Suicide; Join us for the conclusion to our tale on the man who brought us the true post-Apocalyptic genre. 

Send us Fan Mail Alright, look.  This shit's pretty dark at first.  Although we don't know much of the life of one Walter M. Miller, Jr., we do know of the day he developed his lifetime subscription to PTSD, as well as the fantastic Hugo Award-winning tales he created. Also this episode cut out the first minute-or-so for whatever reason where we discuss the talking points of finding your...

Send us Fan Mail Let's call a spade a spade here.  Lovecraft had some great ideas, but the man was afraid of circles.  If this were a kindly old woman with no dark past and she happened to be terrified of fart sounds, sure, that's kinda tragic.  But there is no reason why we shouldn't all be obligated in making fun of Lovecraft any chance we get.  I mean... look at him .  Anyway, jo...

Send us Fan Mail Join us for the man with brilliant ideas, poor prose, and an unfortunately-named cat, the man who rose to Godhood among Deviant Art artists and was probably just as racist, H.P. Lovecraft!

Send us Fan Mail TW: Alabama, Rape; Come one and all, to hear the inspiring tale of Nelle Harper Lee, the woman who wrote the American classic "To Kill a Mockingbird"; and then continue to be saddened by the depressing tale of Nelle Harper Lee, the woman who got conned into publishing “Go Set a Watchman"!

Send us Fan Mail We hope you like trains, because we’re discussing one of the longest books ever written, "Atlas Shrugged", as well as the conclusion to the life of the Uwe Boll of books, Ayn Rand!

Send us Fan Mail New rule:  No spicy food on the day of recording.

Send us Fan Mail TW: Rape; Join us for the unfortunate tale of the woman who failed upwards so hard she became an idol to the people who would never read her work, Ayn Rand!

Send us Fan Mail TW: Pedophilia, Suicide; Listen to the mesmerizing voices of two shrill men discuss perhaps the most depressed author of his day, Osamu Dazai!

Send us Fan Mail TW: Incest, Pedophilia, Rape; Come one and all, but not too much, for the tale of "Jacques" Casanova, the 18th century’s most well known (but horrific) Romantic!