But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems

This week, Kristin is joined by sociologist Dr. Randall Blazak to unpack the Into the Manosphere documentary and why, for anyone who studies power, it’s not shocking at all. Because what looks like “self-help for men”… starts to look very different when you zoom out. We get into: • Why the manosphere feels like culture...but functions like ideology • The link between masculinity, insecurity, and r...

We’ve talked nostalgia. We’ve talked stress. Now we’re getting real about how to survive the season with your sanity intact. In Part 3 of our Christmas series, Kristin and Laura tackle the big one: why this season feels so exhausting, and what we can actually do about it. This one’s for anyone who's ever felt like the holiday magic depends on them… and then quietly burned out in the background. We...

In Part 2 of our holiday series, Kristin and Laura peel back the glitter to talk about the real stress under the tinsel...from sensory overload and grief to the gendered emotional labour that keeps the “magic” going. We unpack: Why the holidays feel more emotionally intense than joyful How old family roles resurface and trap us in the past The link between perfectionism, people-pleasing, and ident...

In Part 1 of our holiday series, we deck the halls...and then unpack why it never quite feels the way it used to. Kristin and Laura get reflective (and slightly existential) about the bittersweet nature of Christmas nostalgia: Why does the run-up feel more magical than the day itself? Why do we cling to rituals even when they’re imperfect? And why does trying to recreate the past sometimes leave u...

In Part 3 of our But Why is Politics so Messy? series, we close with the big one: What can we actually do? After breaking down how people get pulled into harmful political narratives, Kristin and Laura flip the lens to explore how we resist authoritarianism without losing our minds (or ourselves). Together, we unpack: • Why people don’t believe things because they’re true, they believe them becaus...

In Part 2 of our Messy Politics  series, Kristin and Laura are joined by political psychology creator Keegan Tatum to unpack why logic rarely drives political decision-making...and why it’s actually our emotions that vote first. We explore the myth of the rational voter and ask: Why people stay loyal to systems that hurt them How disgust, shame, and fear fuel the right What motivates the “I don’t...

Part 1 of our new series: But Why is Politics so Messy? In a world on fire, why do so many people double down, look away…or stay stuck? In this episode, Kristin and Laura explore the psychology of political identity and why some people cling to harmful ideologies while others retreat into silence, shock, or denial. From Terror Management Theory to psychological flexibility , we unpack how identity...

Part 3 of our Halloween series: Monsters as Mirrors If monsters reflect our fears, what does it say that we keep making them? In this final episode of our Halloween trilogy, Kristin and Laura dig deep into the psychology of monstering, from ancient instincts to modern media. We explore how and why the human brain was built to see monsters ...and why we still crave them. From evolutionary survival...

️ Part 2 of our Halloween series: Monsters as Mirrors ️ If today’s monsters reflect modern fears…what were we afraid of 500 years ago? In this time-travelling episode, Kristin and Laura head back to the past to ask: where did our monsters come from, and what were they covering up? From witch trials to mummies , this episode unpacks: Why werewolves symbolised the “untamed man” Why vampires became s...

This is Part 1 of our special Halloween series: Monsters as Mirrors What if our monsters say more about us than them? In this episode, Kristin and Laura explore how monsters are a social mirror... a way for powerful systems to project fear, control bodies, and avoid accountability. From witches to AI, we unpack how "the monster" is used to enforce social boundaries, uphold hierarchies, and distrac...

In the final episode of our alt-right pipeline series, we explore what happens after the soft aesthetics and curated control stop working. Kristin and Laura dig into the messy, often shame-filled reality of trying to leave a system that promised empowerment and control, but in reality, delivers performance, exhaustion, obedience, and even harm. We unpack: Why leaving can feel like an identity coll...

In Part 2 of our series on the alt-right pipeline for women, we explore how wellness aesthetics and therapeutic language become tools of discipline, not liberation. Kristin and Laura dissect the soft side of authoritarianism - how empowerment becomes obedience, rest becomes performance, and the internet whispers:  “Shh, just be palatable.” ✨ This episode unpacks: The rise of the “soft girl era” a...

In Part 1 of our three-part series, Kristin, Laura, and special guest Jess Britvich explore how women are being pulled into the alt-right — not with overt violence, but with pastel aesthetics, self-help promises, and weaponised femininity. Together, we explore: • How tradwife culture makes patriarchy look like wellness • Why the pipeline starts with fear, loneliness, and control • The role of aest...

Sometimes it's the spoon scraping the bowl. Or the tag on your shirt. Or the wind in your ears. And suddenly...it's all too much. In this episode, Kristin and Laura unpack the messy, invisible world of sensory stress  and how it shapes daily life for many people (often neurodivergent). From autistic shutdowns to ADHD overstimulation, they explore why modern environments are hostile to our nervous...

What do silverback gorillas, burnout, and barstool bravado have in common? More than you think. In this brilliantly bizarre episode, Kristin and Laura are joined by psychologist and burnout researcher Dr. Pete Olusoga to unpack why 100 men vs 1 gorilla became a cultural obsession — and what it reveals about masculinity, performance, and emotional repression. Together, they unpack: • The “alpha mal...

From sleep scores to step counts, even our joy is being tracked. But who is all this “self-improvement” really for? In this episode, Kristin and Laura ask what happens when being human stops being the goal and starts being a problem to fix. They unpack the rise of over-optimization, how capitalism convinced us we’re machines, and why even therapy isn’t safe from performance culture. Together, they...

 From “not all men” to “I was just joking,” defensiveness is everywhere. But what’s really going on underneath? In this episode, Kristin and Laura unpack the psychology of defensiveness - how it protects us, how it shows up in everyday interactions, and how it connects to deeper systems of power. With stories about awkward meetings, parenting, and fragile masculinity, they explore: • Why our brain...

 In this special guest episode, Kristin and Laura are joined by Oliver Niehaus to explore why so many men and boys are being pulled into the Manosphere. From red pill influencers to anti-intellectual rants and fragile masculinity, we unpack: • Why the manosphere sells grievance disguised as growth • How patriarchy harms men — and why they struggle to admit it • The role of loneliness, algorithms,...

In this thought-provoking episode, Kristin and Laura ask why women’s joy so often gets dismissed as “basic.” From Taylor Swift fandoms to fantasy novels, they unpack the deep psychological roots of how gendered taste is constructed—and why we feel guilty for what we love. They dive into: • Why "guilty pleasures" are a feminist issue • The Enlightenment origins of the gender binary • How cultural l...

In this episode, Kristin and Laura take a psychological deep dive into Netflix’s Adolescence, a gripping series that explores how one teenage boy ends up committing an unthinkable act. But instead of focusing on who did it, the show—and this conversation—asks why. Together, we explore: • What incel culture is and how boys are drawn into it • The role of social media, masculinity myths, and lonelin...

From Yorkie bars to Olympic podiums, women in sport have always faced more than just the competition. In this episode, Kristin and Laura explore how sport has been systematically shaped to exclude women — and how this exclusion is still happening today. From overt bans in the 20th century to TikTok trolls and pay gaps in 2025, we unpack: • Why women were banned from football and basketball for dec...

From bicycles to boardrooms, women’s progress has always triggered backlash. In this episode, Kristin and Laura trace a powerful throughline across 140 years of history — showing how each leap forward for women has been met with a push to drag them back. We unpack: • Why “bicycle face” was invented to stop women riding freely • How 1950s housewives were drugged into compliance • The flapper, the f...

Is it burnout, is it capitalism, or are you just lazy? (Spoiler: it’s not the last one.) In this episode, Kristin and Laura unpack what motivation actually is — and why we keep expecting ourselves to push through exhaustion like it’s a personal failure. Guided by Self-Determination Theory (SDT), they explore: • The difference between high vs low quality motivation • Why guilt and shame don't lead...

In this episode, Kristin and Laura are joined by Amy and Jen to unpack their latest books Myths of Sport Performance and Women Working in Sport. From gender bias in coaching to the emotional toll of surviving male-dominated spaces, we explore: • Why performance myths won’t die — and who profits when they stay alive • The gap between academia and social media “truths” • What’s missing from mainstre...

It’s our holiday party and we’re breaking down the science (and the BS) of New Year’s resolutions — all while sipping wine, comparing tattoos, and trying not to set anything on fire. In this festive-but-serious episode, Kristin and Laura explore: • Why so many resolutions fall apart by February • How to make goals that actually work for you • The psychology behind outcome, process, and open goals...