But Make It Hallmark

Chinggay and Patty just cannot with Hallmark’s attempt at making a “This is Us” movie; plus Paul Campbell and Kimberly Sustad come to the screens but in separate movies, and it breaks our hearts a little. We celebrate Sam Page’s return to the channel (with Rachael Leigh Cook as an added bonus). And for the fourth year in a row, Hanukkah steals our hearts, wipes the competition, and kicks Christmas...

Chinggay and Patty trudge through another round of mediocre movies saved by one gem and one gem alone. There’s the yearly call to arms protesting the Time For x Miracles of Christmas movies, and an unfortunately messy Mahogany movie with what would have been a promising cast (hello again, Ronnie Rowe Jr.). Hallmark’s Fascination with a Foreign Land transports us to Norway this week, and we’re also...

Chinggay and Patty speed through eight movies in under a week and weed through the naughty ones so you don’t have to watch them. Fast forward through holiday mediocrity and more couples in trouble and hit pause for a surprise makeout scene. We see Patty’s most beloved tropes from across the Pond demolished, and Chinggay gives in to Love, Actually-inspired schmaltz. The clear winners of the week ar...

Chinggay and Patty trudge through the holiday sludge before getting to the cream of the crop of this week. Nikki deLoach gets crowned as Queen of all Couples In Trouble ™, Lucas Bryant and Stephen Huszar are nominated as Dead Eyes Sr. and Jr., and Lacey Chabert looks fab in off-shoulder tops. The cameo to end all cameos happens this week, plus a callback to “You’ve Got Mail” that makes Niall Matte...

Chinggay and Patty call it a tie—two naughties and two nice movies this week. We send Cindy Busby our Yuletide sympathies, are glad to have Good Witch Joy back in circulation, and are in support of Hallmark’s Fascination with Foreign Lands™️. Lastly, it’s a battle between Hallmark’s Finest with burly Victor Webster and king of the Almost Kisses Andrew Walker. Everything Christmas (Katherine Barrel...

Chinggay and Patty have zero notes because this week’s movies are pitch perfect—two thumbs up for every Hallmark genre. The always delightful Hunter King leads the pack in an ensemble / girls’ night out flick. Our fave Heartland gal Amber Marshall melts our hearts as she gets it on with professorial heartthrob + Hallmark newcomer of the week, Ben Mehl. We are tied up in knots over beautiful people...

Chinggay and Patty have a huge slice of humble pie this week as their former Hallmark hates become this week’s big winners. While we wish Jaicy Elliot and Brant Daughtery could get a better storyline (no more stupid fables, please), we have no notes for the ultimate Zaddy himself, Brennan Elliot. Patty makes peace with Barbara Niven, while Chinggay eats her words and admits we got a Jessy Schram-t...

Chinggay and Patty return to the pod as Hallmark launches Countdown to Christmas. On the first week of holiday movies, we get women in STEM with a too-hot brother, Kevin McGarry’s blue eyes and perfect hair, and Michael Rady making a comeback in a magical realism movie no one asked for but inevitably stole our hearts. Not a bad start to the season! Under the Christmas Sky (Jessica Parker Kennedy,...

Chinggay and Patty skip the winter season and head straight into spring… with way more movies than they bargained for. It’s a mixed bag with clear losers, middling airtime fillers, and two of the best movies we’ve seen in a while, thanks to Hallmark’s two Erins—Krakow and Cahill. Plus: a new nemesis to watch out for. Love in the Maldives (Jocelyn Hutton, Jake Manley) A Picture of Her (Rhiannon Fis...

Chinggay and Patty’s own Miracle of Christmas? Making it through 10 weekly episodes, 40 movies, and a ton of surprises cameos this year. 2022 was a stacked year, but we’ve managed to whittle it down to the best 15, just for you. Happy New Year folks—see you next season. Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram...

Chinggay and Patty go bananas over the utter perfection that is “Hanukkah on Rye.” We’re talking Jewish nuance, a smashing ensemble cast, smart writing, witty banter, and our favorite trope of all: “You’ve Got Mail / The Shop Around the Corner.” Forget every other movie this week and just watch this one four times over. Plus: a husband wife switcheroo for f*ck marry kill. Five More Minutes: Moment...

Chinggay and Patty revel at all the barriers that were broken this week. Jonathan Bennett’s efforts to spearhead inclusivity for the LGBTQ community were top notch—“The Holiday Sitter” is joining the ranks of Hallmark Christmas classics for years to come. The surprise of the season is Dayspring’s Christianity-centric movie, which had fast faves Niki DeLoach and Zaddy himself, Brennan Elliott, expl...

Chinggay and Patty nearly call it quits after the most disappointing lineup of movies BMIH has ever seen. Kudos to Steven Huszar for sending shockwaves into our hearts by playing an ex-Navy Seal bodyguard. We watch these movies so you don’t have to—hear our thoughts and immediately tune into “Undercover Holiday” for shits, giggles, and holiday Huszar action. Catch us every week until December for...

Chinggay and Patty divvy up the Merry Thanksgiving movies into three categories—mediocre non-performers, basic Hallmark fare, and all-new classics everyone’s sure to rewatch for years to come. BMIH kings Tyler Hynes and Victor Webster take the cake this week, while HCU queens Lacey Chabert and Rachel Boston show everyone how it’s done. There’s a little something for everyone this week and that’s e...

Chinggay and Patty speed through the week’s meh movies in order to a fully fleshed out, in-depth look at Hallmark’s most highly-rated movie yet, “Three Wise Men and a Baby.” Andrew Walker (aka Captain America of the HCU) as a firefighter who looks after his family because he’s perfect like that, Paul Campbell as an anxiety-ridden pet therapist who’s socially inept, and Tyler Hynes as a nerdy gamer...

Chinggay and Patty are shocked. A Hallmark spy movie with royalty, children, and kidnapping? Hallmark Movies & Mysteries managing to cast someone as huge as Beau Bridges? An ambitious take on Love Actually… actually working? Patty not hating on Barbara Niven? And Brendan Penny being the dork to superstar Patti Murin? Wonders never cease. This week, embark on an IMDb rabbit hole with us as we s...

Chinggay and Patty have called it—the first terrible movie of the year has made it to the lineup (consider yourselves warned). Ali Sweeney fails to appeal to BMIH’s cold, cynical hearts, but Marlo Thomas becomes a contender for Christmas mom of the year. Two of the HCU’s biggest leads go head to head this week in two different movies: Andrew Walker gets sappy in a maple farm and Kimberly Sustad ta...

Chinggay and Patty’s jaws have dropped as they discuss a multitude of holiday twists. A resurrected dead husband? A non-Scrooge possibly falling in love with his grandma? Will Kemp’s American accent? Jodie Sweetin charming our hearts? Snark has left the building and has been replaced by pure, wholesome holiday cheer. As the Naughty List stays empty, we wonder: Is it all downhill from here? Catch u...

Chinggay and Patty kick off the third annual BMIH Countdown to Christmas + Miracles of Christmas reviews with high hopes and high praises. Resident HCU A-lister Kristoffer Polaha leaves a lasting impression once again, Sarah Ramos makes waves as 2022’s fresh, bright newcomer, and in the biggest twist of all, Carlo Marks goes from Chesapeake Shores roadkill to silver fox of Patty’s heart. Catch us...

Chinggay and Patty mourn the end of their favorite Hallmark series and move through all the Season 6 highs, lows, and shoulda-woulda-couldas with heaps of nostalgia and sentimentality. There’s no contest when it comes to the O’Brien winners (Kevin and Mick 4ever; with Connor as a solid runner-up), but there’s a lot to discuss when it comes to the worst family member—listen to F*ck Marry Kill Chesa...

Chinggay and Patty agree that watching the entire fall lineup of the Hallmark Channel is next to impossible, and settle for six movies instead (most of which of don’t make the grade). The stunners of the season, however, are Hallmark royalty—there’s not a lot that Amanda Schull, Brennan Elliot, Rachel Boston, and Paul Campbell can’t do to win our hearts (and win back our trust). PS: BMIH lore is a...

Chinggay and Patty send salty season’s greetings to movies from the HCU’s Christmas past and Christmas present. Aside from some horribly cast and terribly written oldies, it looks like fan faves Kevin and Kayla are dealt yet another dud. Good thing this season gave some sexy and surprising slays with a fun, flirty toy movie and a blended family flick. Bonus: Some commentary on Hallmark’s widest hu...

Chinggay and Patty dive right into Summer Nights ‘22 and are pleasantly surprised by its many hidden gems. A-listers Ashley Williams and Ryan Paevey steal the show with “Two Tickets to Paradise” and HCU rookies Hunter King and Beau Mirchoff make a case for enemies to lovers with “Hidden Gems.” Stay tuned for F*ck Marry Kill as Patty makes her case for who the true “Beast” of the Hallmark Channel i...

Chinggay and Patty talk lowlights, highlights, and plot suggestions for Season 10. Puppy love in the time of cholera, an alternate DILF timeline, and (just maybe) killing off the main character of the show. Plus, the new couple everyone needs to root for: Mountie Nathan and Newly Single Doctor Faith. We also welcome our favorite HCU standby, Matthew James Dowden into the WCTH fold. Thanks to ...

Chinggay and Patty play catchup on Hallmark’s 2022 lineup and pick five movies to diss and dish on. Get ready for all-new pitches for the HCU: the Luscious Locks Club, a cast switcheroo between our favorite WCTH couple Kevin and Kyla + superstars Tyler Hynes and Autumn Reeser, and a Regency period Hallmark series. Always Amore (Autumn Reeser and Tyler Hynes) Butlers in Love (Stacey Farber and Core...