Broken Together

The "Sticky Note" exercise exemplifies the losses and cost effect for partners to stay or not.

Having patience is a virtue. It does not come natural for most of us. Digging in the trenches of our lives require that we sit in stillness, while God is doing something supernatural of our lives. Waiting for deliverance is the hard work of our salvation. We want it to be over and NOW, yet---God's plan is not our plan....know that you are loved and being transformed into the likeness of our God.

Abbott Pastor said: Any trial whatever comes to you can be conquered by silence." (Scazzero, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality)

Taking time to know yourself is a process of knowing God to know thyself.

Maintaining Balance in Recovery

Relational Circles, staying in the outer circle to create more space for recovery.

An important part of recovery is to look back into your childhood and pull up painfull memories, so you can began to process how they impacted you in the hear and now.

Healing through the trauma in your life. Let's start by writing your own personal mission statement and what it means to you.

Completion of the "Amends Matrix" and what it means to have accountability within the brotherhood.

Having to say your sorry is a process of leaning into the offended's story, their thoughts and feelings. What makes them hurt over your thoughts, behaviors and actions. Take the time to know yourself and feel the pain of making an amends using the 7 Steps of the Amends Matrix (Jason Martinkus).

Step 8 speaks into making an amend, using the "Amends Matrix" is a thorough apology.

Some of our hardest moments are when we reach the" bottom of the pit," this is exactly what Bill Wilson cried out, "if there is a God let him show himself, I am ready to do anything, anything." Wilson is the founder of AA.

History of your emotions. Learn what its like to recognize shame and turn it around before it consumes you and robs you of a precious moment to repair.

Knowing the effects of shame on the brain and body

Where is God in my pain?

The induced trauma and impact on the mind and body from sexual integrity issues can have a devastating impact on your spouse's physical body, it can affect both her relationship to her body how she sees herself and takes care of her body. It can cause new medical concerns and it can also alter her personality and who she is.

Don't take for advantage that your partner "will get over this." In due time she figures out how to move forward, but the impact on her sexuality, physically, emotionally and spiritually linger, way more than she would like.

Destabilization is a state of decreased optimism in maintaining status quo for what is familiar and constant. It undermines ones ability to trust their own judgement.

The induced trauma and impact on the mind and body from sexual integrity issues can have a devastating impact on your spouses physical body.

Helping you to understand the level of trauma your partner experiences in the aftermath of discovery/disclosure.  

Writing Your Disclosure- coming clean-rigorous honesty.

WRITING YOUR DISCLOSURE-Can activate your trauma.

WRITING DISCLOSURE, an acronym providing the outline and details of writing your disclosure.

Timeline for a Formal Therapeutic Disclosure (FTD)

Why Disclose? A formal therapeutic disclosure (FTD) is hard enough to work through, any dribbling or trickling of held secrets and lies will only delay the healing and recovery process.