Breakups and Breakthroughs

Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 2:00 Stop trying to force yourself to  not think about your ex 03:45 There is a difference between thinking about your ex and ruminating about them 05:00 Stop searching for new information 06:40 Think about them at a specific time & place 08:15 Get specific about what you are missing  11:00 Get curious about what you are missing so that you can solve for it 12:50 Give yours...

Timestamps 00:00 Intro 03:00 How lonliness shows up in relationships  06:30 What can we do when we feel lonely in our relationship 08:30 "I feel like I shouldn't have to ask" 10:00 Should I end the relationship? 11:24 Closing thoughts 12:00 How you can work with me  One-on-One 8 Week Coaching: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/get-over-your-ex-8-week-program Connection Call: https://www.shiftyourstor...

Timestamps 00:00 Intro 01:45 What are boundaries? 04:50 Your boundaries don't have to be watered down or pallatable  06:00 The fear (and power) of direct communication 07:00 Boundaries are not tests  08:00 What if they don't like my boundary? 11:15 Boundaries vs. Expectations vs. Standards 12:20 Boundaries are not a get out of jail free card  14:30 Boundaries are part of healthy relationships 15:2...

Timestamps: 00:00 Intro  00:30 It's not about going back to who you were. It's about building something new. 01:30 You are always changing 2:30 What does it look like to meet who you are now? 04:00 Where did you make yourself smaller? 5:00 Confidence comes from action 8:00 Where are there opportunities to do more of what you love? 11:30 Find areas of your life you can grow in  13:00 External chang...

Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 02:00 Sometimes you're not grieving your ex, but your shared social life  03:40 It is harder making friends as an adult  05:00 Become a regular somewhere  06:00 Make the first move  08:00 Diversify friendship needs 09:15 Who can you go deeper with? 10:00 What do you want your social life to look like? 10:50 30 Day friendship challenge 12:00 Questions to journal on 13:30 Did...

Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 02:00 Humans hate unfinished stories  03:00 You're never going to get inside your ex's head  04:20 "If I understand, I'll feel better" 04:50 Closure is not getting an explanation 06:50 Ask yourself questions that will move you forward  08:30 It's easy to spiral in the what ifs 10:40 Don't get lost in the imaginary  11:20 You can't make sense of your real life from your imag...

Timestamps: 00:00 Intro  00:45 My own dating anxiety 02:20 The goal isn't to never have anxiety, it's this... 02:57 Seperate what you know from what you're assuming 04:30 What is the story you're telling yourself? 05:30 Their feelings are not yours to manage 09:30 Is there actually something for you to do here? 10:30 Not all tension in dating is bad! 11:00 Slow down- you don't need to have it all...

Timestamps: 00:00 Intro  02:00 Chemistry vs. compatiblity  03:00 Chemistry can tell you who you are attracted to- but not if you should build a life with them 04:20 Sign #1 You want the same kind of life  05:45 Sign #2 You feel emotionally safe  06:50 Sign #3 They are consistent  07:35 Sign #4 You can handle conflict  08:55 Sign #5 You like who you are around them 09:35 Sign #6 The effort is mutua...

Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 02:30 Why it is more challenging to form relationships now  04:00 Feeling lonely and isolated in relationships  05:00 Inconvenience vs. incompatibility  07:30 Relationships require us to put in effort  08:30 Give to give, recieve to recieve  09:45 Relationships are inherintely inconvenient - but that doesn't make the unecessary  10:15 If they wanted to- they would 14:25 Com...

Timestamps: 00:00 Intro  02:00 You do not need to be 100% healed  02:20 Are you trying to escape a feeling or create connection 04:00 You're not ready if you're in comparison mode  05:00 How is dating funcitoning in your life? 06:20 How long should I wait? 07:20 Signs you ARE ready to date again 10:00 Dating is a great teacher  10:45 Ask yourself these 3 questions to see if you're ready to date ag...

Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 02:00 You don't actually like them  04:00 False sense of chemistry through chasing  05:00 Uncertainty feeling like chemistry  05:30 Where does chemistry come from? 06:30 Anxious/Avoidant dynamic 08:00 Fantasy vs Reality  10:05 It's just not the relationship you actually want 10:45 You don't owe anyone attraction  12:00 Before you reject someone, ask yourself these questions...

Timestamps:  00:00 Intro 01:30 Emotionally unavailable relationships  03:00 It's not who you attract- It's whether you stick around 05:00 Relationships aren't meant to feel like gambling 05:50 Trying to rewrite the story  07:30 Holding on to potential  10:00 Checking emotional unavailability within yourself  10:40 What emotional availibility looks & feels like 11:40 How to break the pattern 14:30...

Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 02:00 1 - Their words match their actions  03:50 2 - You can bring up difficult conversations  05:10 3 - Staying curious  06:30 4 - You don't feel like you're performing  07:20 5- They repair after conflict  08:30 6- You like who you are becoming  09:20 7 - They help you feel secure in the relationship 11:00 Final thoughts  12:45 How you can work with me    One-on-One 8 Wee...

Timestamps: 00:00 Intro  01:00 My attachment style  03:00 Anxious attachment & self-sabatoge  04:30 Attachment styles aren't set in stone 05:30 1. You're Dating Potential Instead of Reality 07:30 2. You're Looking for Reassurance More Than Information 08:20 3. You're Reading Into Everything 10:25 4. You're More Focused on Being Chosen Than Choosing 11:10 5. You Ignore Your Own Needs to Keep Someon...

Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 02:00 Letting go of relationship patterns that are hurting you  04:00 You're going to have to learn the language of healthy relationships 04:15 Our history affects our patterns 05:45 New relationships can teach you something new  06:20 Good relationships don't just happen 07:00 The myth that we shouldn't have to work at relationships 10:30 Re-learning your own patterns  13:...

Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:00 My journey with community up until now  03:00 There's no right or wrong way to form community  08:20 You have to be willing to invest resources into community  12:00 Use technology to help you  15:30 Patience is necessary when building community  16:00 How relationships are built  18:00 The checklist  19:00 How to work with me 19:30 Outro One-on-One 8 Week Coaching: h...

Timestamps: 00:00 Intro  01:30 The shame we place on ourselves when we stay too long 02:40 Has this been your experience? 04:20 The relationship wasn't "bad enough" to leave  08:00 Wating for something to happen so that you can leave  08:30 Ask yourself these questions 09:00 Consistent self-abandonment  10:10 The difference between medecine and poison  12:00 Journaling prompts for self-abandonment...

Timestamps: 00:00 Intro  01:30 The importance of compatibility & chemistry  03:20 Why do we worship chemistry in a relationship? 05:30 You see chemistry before you see compatibility  07:00 Is it chemistry? 08:00 Attraction vs. activation of your nervous system 09:00 Chemistry doesn't screen for compatibility  10:30 So what is compatibility? 17:00 The sweet spot between compatibility & chemistry  1...

Timestamps: 00:00 Intro  00:30 The Impact Of A Breakup 02:00 Looking After Your Body 04:00 Your Physical Wellness Impacts Your Breakup 06:00 Emotional Regulation  07:00 Supporting Yourself Emotionally Through Your Actions or Environment  09:30 Create A New Routine  12:30 What's Helping You Through Your Breakup? Share Your Thoughts With Me! 12:50 Ways You Can Get More Support In Your Breakup  14:10...

Timestamps: 00:00 Intro  00:30 You get a text from your ex 01:30 Here's what it doesn't mean 03:00 Here's what it probably is 04:00 If they want to repair, they will lead with that 07:57 Biggest mistakes people make  09:45 What to do when you get a message from your ex 12:00 If you want to reply- think about this 14:00 Be gentle with yourself 17:00 Outro    One-on-One 8 Week Coaching: https://www....

Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:25 You don't need closure to start healing  01:50 What is closure? 03:00 Closure doesn't magically get rid of your pain 04:20 Does healing require closure? 05:30 Incomplete emotional lifecycle 07:00 What happens when you don't get to complete the emotional lifecycle 08:20 Understanding a situation doesn't always create emotional regulation  09:40 There's nothing wrong wi...

Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:45 Practical steps to impliment what you are learning 03:00 First scan if the information/advice is for you 03:15 How can I impliment this in small ways? 07:00 Look at the cause and the effect  09:00 How can you adjust your own decisions and actions based on what's working?  11:45 Actually plan then changes you want to make  13:30 SMART Goals  15:00 Closing thoughts  15:...

Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 02:20 Culture Shock 04:15 Different parts of you come online when you are in a different situation 05:00 Anchor routines- how they help ground you during times of transition  07:00 Planning helps you process, stabalize, and heal  07:30 The importance of looking after your human  09:00 Relearn who you are and what you want when you are in periods of transition  13:00 Think a...

Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:30 How I fell into the self-improvment trap  03:00 The value of healing 04:00 Healing through relationships  08:00 Healing doesn't have to heavy all the time 10:00 Find balance   One-on-One 8 Week Coaching: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/get-over-your-ex-8-week-program Connection Call: https://www.shiftyourstory.net/connectioncall Website: www.shiftyourstory.net

Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 00:30 You know they aren't good for you... 01:20 It's not about logic  02:30 Top #3 reasons you go back to unhealthy relationships 03:00 Withdrawal  04:20 Missing someone isn't proof that they were right for you 04:40 Familiar pain feels safer than uncertainty  06:20 Attachment to what the relationship could be 07:30 How identity impacts your ability to let them go  07:40 P...