Breaking the Silence

Smith Alley became addicted to pornography even before he was a teenager. Then his world turned upside down one day and he chose to begin a journey to recovery from pornography. As he turned from porn and toward loving and serving others, he connected with other teens who needed help, too. He created the Live Life Bigger Foundation to share his message, and has already spoken to 100,000+ people. L...

Being a student is hard, especially when feeling alienated because of a struggle with pornography. Or maybe feeling confused about how to help a friend entrenched in this problem. Emi Bass wanted to find a way to help, so she founded the Un-Alone Club at BYU. Students are invited to meet over Zoom, anonymously or not, to find insight, community and relief from issues like pornography use, betrayal...

You’ve probably heard about betrayal trauma in marriage, but this time we’re talking about how it shows up in dating relationships and what to do about it. Therapist Kaylee Dunn wants people to know they aren’t alone, they aren’t crazy, it’s normal to be in distress, and there is a way through with therapy with a qualified professional, education, and group support. In this episode: Flashbacks, di...

If we’re wondering whether we need to go to a therapist, it’s probably the time to make the jump! Rachel Denton suggests that when you do decide to start searching for the right therapist for you, look for someone you can trust. Find someone who is familiar with what you are struggling with, whether it’s pornography or mental health. And then be ready to start sharing your story - it’s one of the...

How can you keep a close relationship with your partner? It’s as simple as A-E-I-O-U! Using a check-in based on the vowels, Rhyll and Steven Croshaw communicate every night about how they are doing in emotional, mental, and physical health and their progress in their recovery. They share how this has helped them align their goals and keep from drifting apart.  In this episode:  Check-ins are for t...

A sponsor is someone who can share their own experience of recovery through the 12 Steps and can offer hope, encouragement, accountability, and feedback. If someone knows about good sponsor relationships, it’s Steven Croshaw. After struggling with a sex addiction for decades, he turned to a 12-step program to work towards recovery. Through this experience, he learned how to create a supportive sit...

It’s no secret. Shame often follows pornography even if you aren’t the user, especially in relationships. What are people thinking? Rhyll Crowshaw experienced this when her husband came to her with a sex addiction, and she had to decide how to move forward in their relationship. She discusses how to dispel the fear and shame that comes when worrying about others’ judgments, and work through betray...

Talking about pornography and sex can be awkward, shameful, and even scary. In fact, many of us were taught that the best way to deal with it was to avoid the subject completely. So it’s not only users, but parents, spouses, and friends who hide from confronting the issue of pornography. Brigham Elton is a certified pornography and sexual addiction counselor. Listen as he shares the benefits of ta...

Kids hire pornography for a variety of jobs to help them grow up, and the surprising thing is it makes sense. Creed and Crishelle talk with Kristen Jenson, author of Good Pictures Bad Pictures and founder of Protect Young minds, about this unusual way of understanding kids. She did a study with 10 young people who had a history of porn use. They found 4 categories of jobs that kids hired porn to d...

It’s easy to get sucked into your phone, tv shows, or video games and forget who you are and what you really want out of life. Jason and Lisa Frost, young authors of a new book, talk with Creed and Crishelle about being intentional with media and living from your values. We should be angry instead of ashamed about screen culture and the big tech companies setting traps to steal our attention. They...

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) is a fascinating and effective therapy treatment that shifts stored memories and helps people not be so triggered by past trauma. It relieves emotional distress and calms the physical response to past memories. Our guest, Amanda Christenson is a therapist trained in EMDR. Listen in as Creed and Crishelle learn from her about how this form of therapy...

We all want to have connection in our marriage, especially when we struggle. Zach and Darcy Spafford discuss how to pause and step back to connect when pornography comes in between them. They also share the importance of compassion and grace towards themselves and each other in the process. In this episode: Each person can work for compassion for what the other is feeling. Ask about emotions rathe...

Watching a spouse work through recovery can be tough. Darcy Spafford experienced this when her husband, Zach, struggled with pornography. She shares how she separated herself from his actions and learned to have compassion for him and for herself. It helped to question the thoughts that popped up and decide if they’re really true.  In this episode: Realizing how we’re the same; we may sin differen...

When struggling with something as difficult as pornography, it can be easy to feel like you no longer have a choice in your actions. But coach Zachary Spafford says taking responsibility for your decisions can lead to a whole new perspective that helps in recovery. Creed and Crishelle talk with Zach about his own journey to recovery and how changing your thoughts makes the road easier.  In this ep...

Many young adults didn’t grow up with sexuality as a frequent topic in their homes. Join Creed and Crishelle as they chat with Lucy Ferguson about their lack of sex education as youth and how to learn more about healthy sexuality as you prepare for marriage. "Ignorance is bliss" does NOT apply to sex education. Bliss in healthy sexuality comes from being educated. It’s never too late to learn more...

Pornography involves a lot of inward thinking and selfishness. One way to get out of that is to serve others and focus on creating rather than consuming. Finding something positive to do besides watching pornography is one way Weston Smith and Spencer Buswell have worked towards recovery. They believe that doing something bigger than yourself, something meaningful and creative, can distract from t...

A struggle with pornography is difficult enough, and facing it alone isn’t helpful. It takes extreme vulnerability to open up with the truth about your life, but it's so worth it when you find a community to support you. Spencer and Weston talk about the value of friendship, fighting the battle together, and how to find your people. Connect with someone that is going through the same thing so that...

We flipped roles and put Creed and Crishelle in the guest seats! Hear what they think is the best part of doing the podcast - and what's the hardest part. What do they want every young adult to know?  Join us and learn more about our awesome podcasts hosts and why they are willing to talk about topics that no one wants to bring up. Show Notes: Submit anonymous questions, stories, or comments here...

Hear the rest of the story! This is part 2 of Stephen and Bentlee Edgington’s interview in episode 54. Bentlee shares how she had the courage to ask the question about pornography and what she was afraid of. Stephen shares that both partners can feel like victims when this challenging issue comes up, but it works better to have compassion for how hard it is for both people to talk about it. In thi...

After a couple has their first discussion about pornography - now what? In Part 1 of this conversation, Creed and Crishelle hear Stephen and Bentlee’s story about first talking this issue in their relationship, and how they learned to talk more openly about it in spite of their fears. In this episode: It takes courage on both sides to talk honestly about this. What Stephen learned from other relat...

Slip-ups happen when someone views pornography even though they are trying to quit. That comes with a lot of different emotions, from shame to discouragement. Geoff Steurer, a marriage and family therapist, talks with Creed and Crishelle on how people can learn from relapse and use it to become stronger. Relapse is a part of recovery, and even part of everyone’s life. In this episode: Talk about s...

As a certified sex coach, Amanda Louder teaches clients all day about how to have better sexual health, and as a mom she has experience teaching her children about topics surrounding sex. Creed and Crishelle talk with her about how to start important conversations about sex with your partner, children, or other loved ones. They also discuss steps both married and single adults can take to prepare...

Being in a relationship with someone who is struggling with pornography is not easy. That’s why when Bree Swaner found herself in that situation, she worked to create a support system for herself so that she could support her husband. This week, Creed and Crishelle talk with Bree about how working through your feelings is the first step to being able to be at peace with your partner’s struggles, a...

The stigma that comes with a struggle with pornography often prevents people from sharing their story. The problem is, this often leads to someone feeling alone in their situation. Creed and Crishelle chat with Stephen Edgington about how sharing his story taught him how important connection is, whether you struggle with pornography or know someone who is struggling. In this episode: Practice open...

Seeking therapy can be kind of scary! Worry about the cost, concern about what others may think, or being afraid to talk about our personal problems could keep someone from reaching out for professional help. Cassandra Hulse joins Creed and Crishelle to discuss the ins and outs of therapy for beginners. Hear about how therapy can help someone find the healing they’re searching for. In this episode...