Bravo for Bedtime

Welcome to the OC, bitch! Finally we’re back where we belong as we continue to kick off another crazy summer behind the Orange Curtain. Come scurry through the streets of Coto like geckos in search of shade, as we accidentally find ourselves in Jeana’s living room witnessing a History of Violence. See the Gunvalsons off for their summer vacay in A FAMILY VAN >:-O, and most importantly, get bett...

Season 2 ushers in a new dawn at Bravo For Bedtime, as Mother Knickerbocker soars across the skies of Coto De Caza, spreading her cape and shrouding the show in precisely the brand of darkness it needs to kick off into high gear.  But in the OC, blinding sunlight is code for darkness, because this season, none of our queens can hide from their demons in the vivid sun soaked hellscape. Except maybe...

We pickup right at the fallout of Drew getting her rocks off next to a dying woman, and continue to watch her dom this entire family, right down to the dog. The House of my dreams⁠ ⁠A beautiful Poison Ivy edit someone made to my favourite Cocteau Twins song⁠ ⁠Shop Bravo for Bedtime⁠ ⁠Bravo for Bedtime Insta

To celebrate finishing recapping my first season of The Real Housewives of Orange County last week, I'm switching it up tonight and melting us into a movie that is for sure centered in the ven diagram of people who like Housewives, listening to me, and soothing media. Soothing crazy bitches! But SCBs aren't this film's only link to the Bravo world—the ivy tendrils creep out Vicky's...

The season finale snuck right up on us! I know it was a seven episode season but I still feel a sense of accomplishment, much like Shane and Michael Jr. heading off to college after scraping by with the bare minimum. Or Jo and Slade twice rekindling their sad hopeless relationship. Let's celebrate by sailing down a stream of molten lava??? Another article about Kimberly Bryant's husband pu...

Tonight we bliss out in an Ewok treehouse and things get real deep, as 90's perfumes leave me questioning the texture of reality and Vicki's high school reunion sends us barreling through the bottomless depths of her unconscious and spits us right out into the collective, where we ultimately dream peacefully with our sweet soft chosen Ewok family. Oh, and I click click clack in real time a...

With our longest episode to date, tonight will be an insomniac's delight! Apparently we've got TWO Babbling Brooks in the house because I just couldn't stfu. Pier 1 Imports agreed to install a full bedroom set right here by the creek, so be prepared to be regaled with tales of old dogs and new tricks. We'll float through a pooch tour of Coto De Caza and then wind around through eac...

It's MILVES! This episode is all about sexy saucy age gaps—from Vicky rubbing her creamed up bod against Michael Jr.'s buddies, to seven year olds shooting silly string up a 13 year old girl's skirt. And the cherry on top is... I'll be telling you this ancient spooky Milvish tale by the campfire, so pull up your sleeping bag and let's get soothed. Be my 26th follower <a href...

Jeez, it's raining cats & dogs... come take shelter with me and slurp up some delectable wood soup. The ladies are all out of town, we've got the whole of Coto to ourselves, let's spread out! The Keoughs travel across Arizona looking at colleges for their fail-son. Vicki and Lauri are off to New Orleans for an insurance conference where Vicki asserts her dominance by putting Lauri...

Come doze with me, as we sleepwalk down memory lane through Coto de Caza. This week, you can pass out in the back seat of Laurie's car, waiting on her to finish up her visit with her late son Josh at the juvenile detention centre, take a nap on Vicki's big sticky brown leather couch while she whips us up some Oscar Mayer Weiners in her Tuscan kitchen, or bliss out by the Keough family pool...