Brain First Parenting with Eileen Devine

SUMMARY - In today's episode, Eileen sits down with Mary McDirmid, a Special Needs Financial Planner and founding member of All Needs Planning, which specializes in simplifying the special needs planning process. Mary understands the emotional, financial, legal, and support aspects of caring for a loved one with disabilities, because she is the parent of a child with a rare disease. Her work...

SUMMARY - Many parents of neurodivergent tweens and teens describe a shift that feels difficult to explain: things were already challenging, but suddenly the stakes feel higher, the behaviors feel bigger, and the future feels much more uncertain. In this episode, I introduce what I call the Tween/Teen Expectation Gap—the widening gap between age-based expectations and a child's developmental traje...

SUMMARY - Why do the same power struggles keep happening over and over again between parents and children? In this episode, Eileen explores the “coercive cycle,” a pattern first identified by researcher Gerald Patterson and his colleagues after decades of observing parent-child interactions. Through a Brain First lens, she explains why these escalating moments are often rooted not in defiance, but...

SUMMARY - In this episode, Eileen shares 8 essential mind shifts that help parents move from a behavioral lens to a Brain First lens when parenting children with brain-based differences and challenging behaviors. These shifts can help you better understand your child’s nervous system, reduce conflict, strengthen connection, and parent with more clarity, flexibility, and confidence. TAKEAWAYS: Why...

SUMMARY - In this episode, Eileen reflects on a common theme that comes up again and again in sessions with parents: the belief that “I’m failing” or “I should be better at this by now.” When you’re parenting a child with intense, relentless behaviors, it’s easy for self-blame to take hold, but these thoughts often point to something deeper. This episode explores what may be underneath this narrat...

SUMMARY - In this episode, we explore relational cognitive skills, the brain-based abilities that shape how children navigate relationships, manage emotions, and respond to others. When these skills are still developing, behaviors can feel deeply personal and even hurtful. This episode offers a powerful reframe: your child’s behavior is not a reflection of their character, but a signal of lagging...

SUMMARY - Today's episode is Part 2 of a 2-part conversation with Guy Stephens, founder and executive director of the Alliance Against Seclusion and Restraint (AASR), a national nonprofit dedicated to ending the use of punitive, exclusionary, and dangerous discipline in schools. Takeaways: AASR's work is guided by 5 principles: trauma-informed, neuroscience-aligned, neurodiversity-affirming, colla...

SUMMARY - Today's episode is Part 1 of a 2-part conversation with Guy Stephens, founder and executive director of the Alliance Against Seclusion and Restraint (AASR), a national nonprofit dedicated to ending the use of punitive, exclusionary, and dangerous discipline in schools. Driven by his own son’s traumatic experiences, Guy advocates for trauma-informed, neuroscience-aligned, and neurodiversi...

SUMMARY - In Part 2 of this series on supporting siblings, we shift from awareness to action. Building on the themes discussed in Part 1, this episode offers practical, brain-first strategies parents can use to support siblings who are impacted by challenging behaviors at home. From conversations about how brains work differently to creating safety plans and strengthening protective factors, this...

SUMMARY - In this episode, Eileen explores the sibling experience in families where one child struggles with intense, challenging behaviors. Siblings are not passive observers. Their nervous systems are deeply impacted by the unpredictability, confusion, trauma, grief, and conflicting emotions that can arise in these dynamics. This conversation offers clarity around what siblings may be carrying,...

SUMMARY - Many parenting struggles with neurodivergent kids don’t come down to behavior, they come from a clash between deeply held parental values and a child’s brain-based capacities. In this episode, Eileen explores what happens when beliefs about “good parenting” collide with asynchronous development, emotional regulation challenges, and inconsistent cognitive skills. You’ll learn why pushing...

SUMMARY - In this episode, Eileen sits down with Amy Lang, sexuality educator and expert, for a frank and open conversation about sex education for kids who are neurodivergent. Amy is the founder of Bird & Bees & Kids, and since 2006 has helped thousands of families have stronger, more open communication about sexuality and relationships. TAKEAWAYS: Talking to kids about sexuality is a hea...

SUMMARY - In this episode of the Brain First Parenting podcast, Eileen explores the idea - which is grounded in research - that caregiver burnout can become contagious through shared nervous system dysregulation. Drawing on a recent keynote experience with those in professional and personal caregiver roles, she describes how caregiver burnout often builds gradually, frequently goes unrecognized, a...

SUMMARY - In this episode, Eileen outlines in detail what attention and working memory skills are exactly, and seven signs that may indicate a child struggles with this cognitive skill set. TAKEAWAYS: Attention and working memory refers to the ability to selectively process information and then also retain this information in an accessible state. There are behaviors that reflect lagging attention...

SUMMARY - In this episode, Eileen discussed a topic that is at the center of stress for many parents of kids with neurobehavioral conditions which is their extended family's inability to understand their child from a Brain First lens. Eileen offers some suggestions on ways to manage this specific, often tricky dynamic. TAKEAWAYS: It is a common experience amongst parents of kids with neurobehavior...

SUMMARY - In this episode, Eileen sits down to speak with Carrie Bonnett, Executive Function Coach, to talk about what exactly executive function skills are and how parents can identify, through their child's behavior, whether this is a skill set they struggle with and from there, how to support them in this area. TAKEAWAYS: Carrie defines executive function in a very relatable way, as the brain s...

SUMMARY - This episode is part 2 of a two-part series on each person's unique window of tolerance. This episode focuses on the parent's window of tolerance, an essential concept for parents of kids with neurobehavioral conditions. TAKEAWAYS: It is essential for parents of complex kids with fragile nervous systems and big behaviors to understand their own window of tolerance. It is a common pattern...

SUMMARY - In this episode, Eileen explains what it means for a child with a neurobehavioral condition to live with a narrow window of tolerance as a result of their unique neurobiology, specifically their fragile nervous system. She walks listeners through how the brain and nervous system help each of us manage life stressors, and why this is often difficult for individuals with brain-based differ...

SUMMARY - In this episode, Eileen speaks with Dr. Emily King, a psychologist with extensive experience working in schools and supporting neurodivergent youth about how parents can support their neurodivergent learners. TAKEAWAYS: Neuro-affirming environments are environments that are aligned with each person's nervous system. There are some key ways that adults/teachers can set up environments to...

SUMMARY - As parents, we all have high priorities as they relate to our kids and these high priorities are directly tied to our concern and care for them, wanting them to do well and develop into independent, responsible adults. This episode helps listeners think about their own priorities they hold, as they relate to their kids, and what needs to be considered when your child lives with a neurobe...

SUMMARY - This episode is with guest Wendy Sue Horn, a master clinician, who has been treating individuals of all ages for over 20 years, including supporting parents. Wendy Sue is also an EMDRIA-approved consultant trainer in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), a trauma-informed psychotherapy that helps individuals heal from the symptoms and emotional distress of disturbing life...

SUMMARY - It is common for kids with neurobehavioral conditions to struggle with slow processing pace. Slow processing pace is a cognitive skill that is often missed or misunderstood, seen as a behavioral issue, and therefore not accommodated. This episode helps listeners better understand and identify slow processing pace as a lagging cognitive skill, and from there, provides concrete examples of...

SUMMARY - This episode focuses in on five mantras that will help parents of kids with brain-based differences and challenging behaviors stay in a Brain First mindset. TAKEAWAYS: One point of "growing pains" parents of kids with neurobehavioral challenges experience is how to react in productive ways, from a Brain First lens, when they are faced with their child's challenging behaviors. When we hav...

SUMMARY - There is a universal grief that affects parents of neurodivergent kids that often goes unrecognized, leaving parents feeling alone in a difficult emotional experience. This episode takes listeners through what this unique grief looks like and why it's so unique to parents of neurodivergent kids and how to begin to move through it so healing can begin. TAKEAWAYS: Grief, while such a commo...

SUMMARY - Kids who have brains that work differently, have brains that are working hard all day long, resulting in cognitive fatigue or this empty fuel tank. Their cognitive fatigue is reflected through challenging behaviors. This episode helps listeners identify cognitive fatigue in kids with brain-based differences and what the adults supporting them can do to help their brain rest and recover,...