boy meets therapy

Why do we love to be scared? In this Halloween special, Dustin explores the psychology of fear and what it reveals about us. From the thrill of horror movies to the mystery of possession, from the unease of the uncanny to the allure of cults, this episode unpacks how fear shapes our behavior, our beliefs, and our need for control. Drawing from neuroscience, psychology, and film, it examines why th...

TRAILER for the boy meets therapy podcast Hosted by Dustin Oliver, MA, boy meets therapy blends clinical research with real conversations about vulnerability, relationships, friendship, identity, and culture with an emphasis on the LGBTQ+ community. Episodes feature solo insights and in-depth interviews with licensed professionals who share both their expertise and their humanity. Perfect for quee...

Why do we keep accepting less than we need and calling it love? In this solo episode, host Dustin explores the psychology of emotional starvation: the pattern of confusing scarcity with care. Through the lenses of attachment theory, intermittent reinforcement, and trauma research, he unpacks how early experiences of inconsistent affection can shape what we tolerate in adulthood. Dustin explains wh...

Why do so many of us struggle to know what we actually want? Why do we think we're doing something we like but it doesn't feel right? In this solo episode, host Dustin explores how our desires are shaped by early experiences, social expectations, and the need for safety. Drawing from Self Determination Theory, Object Relations and Attachment Theory, and Cass’s Queer Identity Formation mode...

In this episode, host Dustin sits down with UK therapist John Gillespie to explore the deep intersection between kink, sexuality, and mental health. Together they unpack how shame, desire, and identity shape our sexual experiences and what it means to find acceptance through therapy. John shares insights from both his clinical practice and personal experiences within kink communities, offering a r...

In this episode, host Dustin Oliver sits down with therapist Tyler Mafi to explore the queer search for meaning through the lens of existentialism. They unpack how identity, dating, and authenticity are shaped by societal expectations and how questioning those norms can open the door to deeper purpose and meaning-making. The conversation highlights why existentialism matters in everyday life, how...

In this episode, host Dustin sits down with Sam Fogarty, LMHC, to explore the pressures gay men face when it comes to body image and the pursuit of the “ideal body.” Together, they unpack how rejection, fat phobia, and societal standards fuel shame and disordered eating within the LGBTQ+ community. Sam shares insights from his research on muscularity-oriented eating disorders and why intuitive eat...

In this episode, we sit down with Dr. A. Jordan Wright, Director of the combined Counseling and Clinical Psychology PhD program at NYU and a leading voice in psychological testing and training future clinicians. Together, we explore how microaggressions, evolving diagnoses, and cultural competence shape queer mental health care today. Listeners will learn how subtle microaggressions affect therapy...

This episode explores how substance use shows up in the lives of gay and queer men through history, culture, and community. I explore the complex and often misunderstood relationship between gay men and substance use. Too often framed with stigma or silence, this topic deserves a conversation rooted in history, culture, and compassion. I’ll take you through the role bars played as safe havens, the...

In this episode of boy meets therapy , host Dustin Oliver sits down with dating coach Danny to explore the unique challenges queer men face in dating. From breaking cycles of self-sabotage to navigating monogamy vs. non-monogamy, they dive into how generational trauma and cultural history shape modern relationships. Connect with Danny Instagram: @thecoachdannym TikTok: @coachdannymorales Website:...

Why is it so hard for gay men to open up emotionally, especially with each other? In this solo episode, Dustin explores the vulnerability deficit that many gay men experience and how emotional suppression shows up in friendships, dating, and queer community life. Blending clinical research with real-life examples, this episode unpacks the psychological roots of emotional avoidance, the influence o...

Why is it so hard for gay men to make close friends? In this episode, host Dustin explores the friendship crisis many queer men face and offers practical, research-backed strategies to build deeper, more meaningful connections. Learn the difference between romantic and friendship attraction, how emotional safety shapes queer friendships, and why vulnerability is key to connection. Dustin also shar...

In this episode of boy meets therapy , Dr. Luke Wilson shares his firsthand experience with conversion therapy, from enrolling at Liberty University to facing the emotional and psychological toll of trying to change his identity. Dr. Wilson opens up about the deep shame, religious pressure, and inner conflict he experienced, and how he ultimately found healing and self-acceptance. This honest conv...

In this episode of boy meets therapy , host Dustin Oliver is joined by therapist Liz Rhea for an honest and deeply moving conversation about religious trauma and queer identity. Together, they unpack how adverse religious experiences can shape self-worth, relationships, and mental health, particularly for LGBTQ+ individuals. Liz shares her clinical insights on the effects of sermons and church env...

In this powerful episode, Dustin Oliver sits down with therapist Natalie Reina to explore the deep and lasting effects of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and the transformative power of somatic therapy in trauma recovery. Together, they unpack how childhood trauma shapes adult mental health, why recognizing patterns from abusive relationships is so difficult, and how grounding techniques and...

In this episode, host Dustin Oliver sits down with psychiatrist Dr. Joseph Elfar for a thought-provoking conversation on the evolving role of psychiatry in mental health care. Dr. Elfar opens up about his personal journey into psychiatry, the importance of self-disclosure in clinical work, and how social media is transforming mental health awareness. We dive deep into the realities of medication m...

Struggling to fall asleep or stay asleep? Wondering if melatonin, sleep hygiene, or therapy actually work? In this episode, sleep therapist Tony Ho joins us to unpack the most common sleep disorders, including insomnia and sleep apnea, and what you can do to finally get quality rest. Tony breaks down the science of sleep, the psychological blocks that keep people awake, and why trying to "control"...

In this episode, host Dustin sits down with therapist Lauren Larkin to unpack the complex relationship between disordered eating, diet culture, and mental health. Together, they explore how societal pressures, personal history, and media influence body image and eating behaviors, especially in the age of social media and virtual therapy. Lauren shares her journey from a career in media to becoming...

In this episode, therapist and former Broadway performer Brian Spitulnik joins Dustin to explore the intersections of shame, identity, and healing within the gay and broader queer community. Together, they unpack themes like internalized homophobia, social hierarchies among gay men, and the emotional toll of self-sabotage and rejection. Brian opens up about his personal transformation, from life o...

In this episode, Dustin Oliver sits down with Karley, a therapist who specializes in treating Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and co-occurring substance use disorders. Together, they explore the complex relationship between emotional dysregulation, trauma, and addiction, highlighting how Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) offers hope and structure for individuals navigating these challenges....

In this conversation, Dustin Oliver and Sara discuss the intricacies of dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), anxiety management, and borderline personality disorder (BPD). Sara shares her personal journey into therapy, the challenges and rewards of working with individuals with BPD, and the importance of understanding emotional regulation. They explore the techniques used in DBT, including distre...

In this eye-opening conversation, host Dustin Oliver speaks with Dr. Eric Van Der Voort, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist, about the many misconceptions and complexities surrounding human sexuality. They explore how performance anxiety can disrupt intimacy, the importance of open communication in sexual relationships, and the ways societal norms shape, and often distort, our exp...

In this episode, hosts Dustin Oliver and Ryan Austin, a licensed professional counselor, dive deep into the world of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. Together, they explore how IFS helps individuals understand their inner parts, navigate emotional trauma, and reconnect with their core Self-energy for lasting healing. Ryan shares insights from his clinical work, including his experience with...

In this episode, Dustin Oliver sits down with counseling graduate student Bailey McFadden to talk about the real-life journey through psychology education—from undergrad to grad school and beyond. They discuss why they both chose to pursue master’s degrees over PhDs, how to evaluate faith-integrated counseling programs, and what it’s really like working in internship settings. Bailey shares her ex...

In this episode, host Dustin Oliver sits down with child and adolescent therapist Chandler Donny to explore the unique challenges and breakthroughs in therapy with young clients. They dive into topics like OCD in children, the emotional impact of divorce, and how to build trust with resistant or withdrawn kids. Chandler shares clinical insights on the importance of confidentiality, psychoeducation...