Blake's 7: The Mutoid Podcast

It's time for Dayna to rekindle an old (and somewhat Nabokovian) romance on the leafy orb that is Bucol 2.  Our very own Lolita finds her ancient flame (the mononymed meddler, Justin) and he lets her stroke his hairy beast. Meanwhile Sleervalan is still plodding on with her pointless new identity and offing all those who dead-name her.  But how many registers is Justin on? Is there really much of...

After some ill-advised joy-riding from Avon, the Scorpio is in dire need of an overhaul. Luckily, some psychopathic clowns fly by and show the crew their assets, leading to a trap, a fight and a heist. But why's Avon's heart even stonier than usual? Is there a maximum IQ entry requirement for the Space Prats? Are lizards better eaten live or deep fried in engine oil? And did the episode fill Jim a...

It was (nearly) called a land fit for Helots. Mudskippers, more like. But it's a place that's much in demand, with a puppet leader about to be installed and a sinister snooker player hoping to replace him. Even the mysterious and strangely familiar Commissioner Sleer is taking an interest... But what does Dayna wear in bed? Why was Travis's eyepatch never blinged? Can cake decorations really save...

Our heroes are just a door away from Scorpio and escape from Xenon. But even Vila can't open it without Avon and he's just got himself embroiled into a war of the sexes. Meanwhile, Tarrant keeps his neck braced and Dayna gets so frustrated by the obdurate Orac that she simply has to punch someone. Will our heroes ever open that bloomin' door? Has Avon got a kinky pain thing going on? Will David Da...

Our heroes are back... albeit in reduced circumstances. Stranded on Terminal with only Links, gobby snakes and an exploding escape vessel for company, Avon et al look to be up a certain creek with no means of propulsion... until a rescuer arrives. But who is the mysterious Dorian? What sort of kinky relationship does he have with his flight computer? Why is there an old BBC costume in his basement...

This is the end, beautiful friend. Or is it...? Avon is even more anti-social than usual, Tarrant and Cally attract more monkeys than a Kubrick monolith and Zen's looking more than a little mouldy. Will Avon ever spill the beans? Will the Liberator make it to the end of the episode? Can the continuity announcer save the show? And did Jim and Martin enjoy the season finale or were they Terminally b...

Blood is thicker than water, they say, and Tarrant gets the chance to find out as his big brother goes to war. Vila swigs, Avon snogs, Dayna sneers and Del Boy gets to walk in Deeta's shiny shoes as the galaxy watches. Does Cliff Jones still have some green death on his hand?  What is that on Deeta's head and would it like a saucer of milk? How many pan-galactic gargle blasters would it take for D...

It's "toxic masculinity ahoy!" this time as our intrepid outlaws fetch up on the planet of 1970s blokes. Ben Steed inflicts upon us another misogynistic smorgasbord in which a bunch of unreconstructed males terrorise the winsome women of Sardos. But who is the real power behind the organisation? Why does he look like that (budget considerations aside)? Is Vila the worst of all Servalan's right-han...

Core blimey! Avon loves computers but enough to run around inside one? For this is Ultraworld - every technophobe's nightmare. Menaced by both the bald and the elderly, our heroes must perambulate through a PC to save calamitous Cally and a particularly sweaty Avon, while hoping they don't mix up their minds. After all, Avon's personality in Cally's body doesn't bear thinking about. Is this the wo...

Time for our intrepid travellers to play at dress up. Cally's uses her lizard brain, Tarrant is the Scarlet Gimpernel, Dayna indulges in some blatant lyreing, and Vila's become a low-rent children's entertainer. Avon, of course, is the bloke in black who ruins everyone's fun. But what is the secret of the space pumpkin? Should Avon really be going round kissing dead people? Less importantly, can h...

Avon (or "Avon" to his loved ones) has a score to settle - even if that means some voluntary confinement and ocular endangerment along the way.  He wants to cut Shrinker down to size but it turns out the trembling torturer might not have been Anna's executioner after all. Meanwhile, Servalan knows that rebuilding the Federation is a marathon, not a sprint, but it looks like she's hit a wall. Will...

Servalan's feeling broody so everyone else must suffer for her little children. Wiping out Cally's race is, of course, a small price to pay for these fascist foetuses and, call it nesting instinct if you like, she also has her eyes on the Liberator. But she reckons without uncommunicative Aurons, subordinate infighting and Orac the apothecary. But what the heck is Michael Troughton wearing and why...

So Vila finally gets his moment in the (CSO) sun. And all he has to do to earn it is open an unopenable door and avoid being killed by a Six-maniac. But at least he almost gets the girl. How do you subtly hint to a new acquaintance that they may have personal hygiene issues? What are the practical difficulties posed by invisible legs? Can you really raise kids and cattle on an asteroid? And did Ji...

It's time for a spot of piracy for our intrepid and newly-aimless adventurers. And where better to do that than on a deadly planet infested with enormous zeppelin-arsed insects? But who died and made Tarrant Liberator captain? Is Jarvik a complete arse (or merely a buttock)? As Servalan is unqualified to weep at the death of a friend, does laughing at the demise of an enemy count? And did the epis...

Newly self-appointed leader, Tarrant, is powerless to stop the Liberator and crew from being sucked into a black hole. Therein they find a place which could be none more black, inhabited by a regency fop, a wild west bank clerk and a wee man with cranial varicose veins. When will Avon teleport Tarrant into deep space? When it comes to equations, who is the sharpest graphite writing stick in the bo...

Newbies Tarrant and Dayna are on a mission on behalf of their crew to find someone that only they have never met. And to maybe find a suitable place to settle down and electroshock kids. However, Servalan and Not-Travis have other plans, which involve a posh tramp, a dead dog and a parsnip with a face. Is it medieval re-enactment week on the Liberator? Does Michael Gough have smelly hands? What is...

After escaping Sarran, Avon and Dayna arrive on the Liberator where they find some squabbling squatters. A young Blake-alike, Mr Bronson's evil twin and some less-than-crack troopers are acting like they own the place so our two rebels have to act as a castaway couple. Meanwhile Vila develops a split personality and Cally meets a familiar and impatient in-patient. Will the Terran Federation trespa...

Series C kicks off with a Tempest of activity (do you see?). Avon gets two snogs, Dayna loses two loved ones and the Sarrans are too primitive to open a hatch. Will Avon really team up with saucy Servalan to rule the galaxy? Who is the random NPC in the dunes? Is there any justification for shaving horses? And do Jim and Martin think the episode hits the mark like Dayna with an arrow, or kicks the...

We finally reach the denouement of Series B but who will get out alive? That keenest of self-promoters, Servalan, is in a flap as her previously moist parts are dry and her melons are freezing. Something's up at Star One where the technicians are more cabbage than kings and the neighbourhood is about to go down the (toilet) pan.  Can Blake convince the enemy that he's Travis? Can Brian Croucher co...

Blake and co brave noxious Goth fumes while inspecting every thong they can get their hands on. Warring brothers, their sorceress sister and a jealous jester serve only to complicate matters. Does Goth boast a galactically-renowned wine region? Is Gola any different roaring drunk than roaring sober? What is the average air speed of a flying codpiece? And do Jim and Martin think the episode is a ke...

Freedom City's subtle forms of satisfaction are not for the likes of Blake and co. They have a dipsomaniac doctor to find, a cat fight to create and a chess master to challenge. Meanwhile, Servalan has a plot to hatch and a halfwit to explain it to. At least Travis is relatively armless this week. But can a tin dog really offer sexual satisfaction? Does Aubrey Woods have a naturally shiny complexi...

Something that looks very much like a trap turns out to be... a trap. Who knew? Answer: Avon and Cally. Is Blake out of his mind or is the Epoch of True Freedom (TM) really being heralded? Who could possibly defeat Le Grand in a staring competition? Will there ever be an adequate excuse for this...? And was the episode a welcome blast from the past for Jim and Martin or would they rather hide it b...

Avon meets an old enemy while the series returns to an old plot device.  The episode, unpredictably called Countdown , throws up some intriguing health and safety issues. How close should you stand to a firing rocket engine? Is it wise to submerge your electronic bracelets? And should you pop your tool into an explosive device? Did Jim and Martin feel in safe hands with the episode or were they co...

It's a case of unhappy families this time as Travis blackmails Ushton's brother's wayward son into visiting his uncle and his cousin/former squeeze (don't ask). Where did Vila's trust issues go? What occurred back on Exbar between the (variably) youthful Blake and Inga? What the flipping crikey has happened to the Mutoids?! And were Jim and Martin captivated by the episode or were they longing to...

With friends like Tynus, does Avon really need any enemies? But the entomological artist can be of use to our unemotional anti-hero as those pesky Federation codes won't crack themselves.  Throw in a over-lively cadaver, an ancient virus and some outrageous outfits and our regulars are struggling to stay alive and keep a straight face. But did Jim and Martin find this episode to be all killer and...