Blacksplaining Podcast

Please stop getting on the internet lying about being a better person in the new year. I encourage regression. Let’s all become worse people.

When I say ‘weak a*s’ you say ‘b*tch’.

Oh so you have never done anything stupid in your life? I'll take 'Shit that ain't true for 1000 Alex.'

Some of y'all are missing your damn minds. Let's search for those.

It'll be a chilly day in hell before I let one of these raggedy n*ggas tell me a damn thing.

This morning you turned your drawls inside out to wear them for the third day in a row and then used your boost mobile phone to comment "Beyoncé isn't even that good looking". Interesting.

It should have been Clarence Thomas on that submarine.

Focusing and making friends are the two largest threats to my sanity.

We can either be given reparations or as the poet laureate Pooh Sheisty once said, we can get it back in blood.

Sometimes the lesson isn't in the resolution of the problem, it's letting go of the problem all together. Or cussing them out. Idk, it's early as hell.

I try to tailor the advice I give so that it is helpful but general so you can never get me on Iyanla crying into her bangs because I ruined your life.

This week we have very special guests; the ladies of @spillitcardgame! Let’s get real and talk business, friendship, and chasing your dreams!

Community matters, but in order to find it, you have to decolonize your mind. Please go outside touch some grass and drink some water! This week featuring special guests @ndionm, @nala.cm, & @naiee_!

Sure, your auntie was takin over for the 99 to the 2000 at Freaknik but your uncle was there too and only one of them got caught shoving a Nokia flip phone in somebody's thong. Who should we really be concerned to see in the documentary?

Maybe Clarence Thomas knows Olivia Pope? Otherwise the GOP is gonna let his black ass fry like some catfish.

As a former awkward black teen I would like to be issued a formal apology from Olive Oil Relaxers, Angela & Vanessa Simmons for making those pastry shoes, and every man that called me weird only to be in my DMs asking me what that mouth do. I will wait.

In the year of our lord 2023 let's stop pretending that people aren't having sex. I watched 25 gender reveals online today alone so somebody out there bussin' it down. Let's be for real here.

Adult friendships are hard, and even more so when they're draining all of your energy. Also, comedians are complaining again but still not being funny. I'm confused.

I don't hesitate to leave things that aren't serving me right where they are, jobs, men, bad friendships, and those $1500 Beyonce tickets.

Some of these lies men come up with are creative, don't get me wrong. We have all been lied to creatively. This week we're talking secret wives, complicated living situations and other scary dating horror stories.

So we all just gone be single forever? Since you got your degree and you know everything! 

Happy Black History Month! Let's decide if I'm going to pay my rent or buy Beyoncé tickets. Additionally, let's celebrate by telling white people lies. That's what this country was built on anyway .

I will no longer be listening to people who's hot takes are 'I don't really drink water' or 'Who reads books anymore?'. I've had enough.

It's the new year and I've got a new lease on life. Same b*tch though. Let's get real about growth, introspection and how hard it can be to change.

As we approach the new year here's a reminder that it is never too late to start minding your business. Also if you are Viola Davis snot bubble crying over something someone said on the internet, it might be time to seek help.