Black Men Unlearning

In this episode, the guys discuss self-love. Their conversation touches on what self-love looks like in practice and how we can plug into good sources rather than always pouring out. They also answer the popular question of whether we have to learn to love ourselves before we can love others or be loved by others. 

The guys close out 2022 with an evaluation of the false dichotomy between logic and feelings. Their discussion includes a breakdown of the societal implications of establishing a binary relationship between logic and feelings, the importance of balancing the two, and a dope real-world example of logic without feeling involving John Coltrane and a robot (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjONQNUU8Fg)...

In this 30th episode (!) of BMU, the guys discuss the shame their upbringings associated with sex and how it shaped their journeys learning about themselves and their desires. The discussion unpacks the problems with Christian instruction around sex, identifies the issues with an "all red flags" approach to sex and sexuality, and highlights some of the real consequences of our commitment to doing...

In this episode of Black Men Unlearning, the guys sit with the concept of building and leaving legacies. The conversation considers how our egos, the past, present, and future all factor in to how we pursue establishing legacies for ourselves. This week's "Really, Bruh?" addresses the #RecastTChalla trending topic, referencing a conversation between Ta-Nehisi Coates and Ryan Coogler from the first...

The guys discuss Takeoff's untimely death and the sometimes uncomfortable feeling of grieving people we don't know personally. The episode criticizes TMZ's "reporting" and highlights the challenge of making space for grief while pictures and videos of the deaths of Black folks are treated as clickbait and viral content. This week's "Really, bruh?" is dedicated to the Brooklyn Nets.

The guys discuss adulting, particularly as it pertains to the pursuit of lives that bring us joy. The conversation leads to them figuring out when the concept of adulting entered our collective consciousness, and evaluate our beliefs about who is deserving of leisure. This week's "Really, bruh?" wonders where all the crabs have gone.

It's a "Really. bruh?" takeover! Kyle and Edwin extend the segment into an entire episode, taking Kanye (Comrade West) to task, contending with the announcement of the Super Bowl Halftime show and the billionaire status of Rihanna and Jay-Z, taking LeBron to task for his support of Tory Lanez, and discussing Ime Udoka's foolishness.  The show references Bassey Ikpi's "I'm Telling the Truth Bu...

The guys talk about the challenges Black men face in maintaining our good health mentally, emotionally, and physically. The conversation includes vulnerable discussions about their own fears around healthcare, battles with loss, challenges with battling COVID, and the importance of rejecting individuality by managing our wellness in community. The episode also includes the debut of BMU's new segme...

In this episode, the guys discuss the fallout from Deshaun Watson's sexual assault cases, and the poor job we do of practicing accountability in our society. The discussion touches on our takeaways from the Me Too movement, our reactions to other assault cases by prominent Black male celebrities, and the lengths to which we'll go to protect our feel-good.  This episode cites reporting by Jenn...

*Warning: This episode of Black Men Unlearning contains adult language.* On this episode of BMU, the guys consider what it means to be authentic and if it is possible to embody multiple authentic expressions of self.  The discussion ranges from our use of code switching, social media habits and how we come to understand the multitudes we all contain. Today's episode references a conversation...

The guys are back and wondering why we spend so much of our lives being in a rush. The episode includes discussion about the where we learn to be in a hurry, the capitalism of it all and what we stand to lose by rushing through our lives.

The guys discuss the Will Smith/Chris Rock altercation and how our perspectives and biases shape our responses. Their discussion considers the importance of the rhetoric used to characterize the conflict, how men's roles as protectors factor in to navigating major boundary violations, and what we can take away from how the situation unfolded in the public sphere.

On episode #20 of BMU, the guys explore their hair journeys, taking it all the way back to barbershops in the 90s. They discuss their first experiences growing their hair out, their families' response to their long hair, society's perception of Black hair and the link between standards of professionalism and white supremacy.

Kyle and Edwin explore what it means to live the good life or at least *a* good life. The discussion starts with their past perceptions of what pursuits make our lives good, and transitions to evaluating the barriers that stand between us and living/obtaining the good life.  

Kyle and Edwin are back with the first new BMU episode of 2022, and they're tired. The episode includes discussions about the forces that conspire to keep us exhausted, making good choices about showing up in for ourselves and others and focusing on what we can control.

Kyle and Edwin discuss intimacy in relationships including how we navigate boundaries and walls, the beliefs and emotions that challenge our ability to let people get close to us, and what it means to allow ourselves to be vulnerable.

Kyle and Edwin share their reflections about the pitfalls of approaching relationships sacrificially and consider the value of "selfull-ness" in establishing healthy relationships.

Kyle and Edwin continue their series on relationships by questioning whether equality is an ideal we should strive toward. Along the way, the cohost contend with the difference between facts and truth, the meaning of being "equally yoked" and the concept of submission.

In the first segment of BMU's relationship series, Kyle and Edwin explore the foundations of their conceptions of relationships. Along the way, they examine our culture's propensity to idolize models and question the value of the relationship "wisdom" we've come to accept.

Kyle and Edwin explore our culture's conception of humility by addressing toxic humility and false humility, and working out some of the reasons we find ourselves in these practices today. 

Kyle and Edwin chop it up about their skills in the kitchen and the influences that led them to find joy in cooking. The episode includes some of their favorite dishes, cooking tips and resources for improving skills in the kitchen. Some references from the show include the Babish Culinary Universe YouTube channel (https://www.youtube.com/c/bingingwithbabish) including Basics with Babish (https://...

BMU is back after a brief hiatus and we're talking about practice. Yup, practice. Kyle and Edwin consider whether greatness should be the goal of everything we do while evaluating the reasons we avoid practicing disciplines we aren't immediately good at.

On the 10th(!) episode of BMU, Kyle and Edwin share what they've learned about themselves and our world after 16 months of the pandemic. The guys consider the pitfalls of extreme individualism and share ideas about the importance of leaning on each other.

Kyle and Edwin discuss their recent experiences with loss and the effect of processing grief on their lives. The discussion includes reflections of what they've learned from dealing with death and how they hope to live in light of these broader perspectives.

Kyle and Edwin discuss the week that was including responses to Bill Cosby's release, Sha'Carri Richardson's suspension and the fire in the Gulf of Mexico.  The conversation references the book The Queen of America Goes to Washington City: Essays on Sex and Citizenship by Lauren Belant.