Black Marriage Therapy

A few months ago I was on a high I felt like I was working on everything that I wanted to accomplish and out of nowhere I just stopped. I made excuses and told myself it was because I'm tired, or I needed a break or work-life balance. 4 weeks went by and I was getting worse and worse and moving further and further from my goals. I accepted my behaviors as proof that I am all the negative thing...

Dive into the world view of men with Junior Smith & Mychael Starke as they reveal the essence of empathy in relationships. In this episode, these men discuss (in detail) things like  how to recognize emotions, balance understanding without mere agreement, and the impact of external stresses on our empathetic responses. Listen in to learn more and equip yourself with tools and to build more emp...

🚨Trigger Warning🚨: This episode delves into a sensitive topic and discusses instances of sexual abuse. Listener discretion is advised. Today, we're honored to be joined by the inspiring Sherell Harmon. In this deeply heartfelt conversation, we'll be exploring Sherell's journey through moments of pain and adversity, marked by experiences of childhood molestation, trauma, the absence o...

In this episode, we welcome Schelo, a seasoned finance expert and CEO of Black Women Invest. With 8+ years of industry experience, Schelo has cultivated a community of over 13 thousand women, all united in their quest to learn about investing and wealth building. Having recently celebrated her marriage, Schelo brings a unique insight into financial dynamics within relationships. In this episode, w...

A marriage without faith is not sustainable. I know that is a politically charged statement for some but hear us out. We have been on both sides of the spectrum where we have done it without God, and we've done it with God and we have found that our relationship has thrived and grown in ways we could have never imagined because we put Christ at the center of our relationship. In this episode,...

Sulonda, the communication coach, draws from her upbringing in a large family to offer a fresh perspective on relationships. In today’s episode, she tackles the changing face of masculinity, identifying roadblocks and finding solutions, balancing work, love, personal growth, etc. Ultimately, Solanda's initiatives aim to create happier, more peaceful relationships by prioritizing humor, self-un...

Did you know that 69% of arguments or conflicts in a relationship go unresolved and this comes from the world-renowned marriage and family therapist John Gottman. Junior and I recently found ourselves in one of these conflicts that just seem to not have a resolution. In this episode, we want to take you through this raw recent conversation that Junior and I had to give you insight into what commun...

Join us for an exciting and candid episode as Chris Matthews (who has worked in the field of counseling and human services for 18years) and Junior Smith engage in an open dialogue about men's responsibility in marriage. In this thought-provoking conversation, they delve into the challenges of communication, (for both men and women), discuss what man should do if he feels like cheating, when he...

Sometimes the challenges that you face in your relationship do not come from within but stem from external factors that may be out of your control. During this time your relationship may be tested and all the things you have been working on or not working on will have an opportunity to be revealed. In this episode, I want to share with you all our experiences, our mistakes, and the valuable lesson...

When I first got married, I was immovable in my stance on cheating. I remember looking into my husband's eyes and saying, "If you ever cheat on me, I will divorce you." It felt like the highest standard I could set for myself because I didnt know any better. I used it as a non-negotiable dealbreaker that safeguarded my heart. Over time my perspective on infidelity started to change. I was maturing...

In this episode, we answer questions we received from our Instagram and TikTok page @blackmarriage therapy. If you have been enjoying the content please follow us on Instagram @blackmarriagetherapy, rate us on your podcast platform, and share your favorite episode with a friend. If you would like to continue the conversation please join our Facebook group Black Marriage Therapy. There we share and...

Arguing about money early in a relationship has been found to be the No. 1 predictor of whether a couple gets divorced. What is it about money that makes its effects so potent to a relationship? What I have found in my research and experience is that although a lack of money can be an issue by itself most often it is the stress and tension that comes from money issues that can strongly affect a co...

It takes a village to raise a marriage. I heard a friend of mine Margert say recently on her podcast that it takes a village to raise a woman and I thought that nothing could be more true. As I started to think about that phrase I realized that this statement was true for so many facets of life including marriage. I thought and considered the village that surrounded my marriage over the course of...

For the first time in my marriage, I am not putting my needs on the back burner and it feels weird. For the majority of our marriage, I have always put the needs of my relationship over my own. Junior never asked me to do this and for the majority of the time I had no idea that I was not attending to my needs. I ask myself questions like is this a need or a want? Is it the junior's responsibil...

For a long time, sex from a man's perspective has been shrouded in mystery.  When discussing sex from a man's perspective it seems to be only one view, Men NEED it and need it OFTEN, but over the years I have found that there are layers to the man's experience with sex in marriage. In season 1 episode 18, I discussed 5 things that transformed our sex life from my perspective.  So, in this episode,...

Even when intentionally trying not to be busy we still end up with things on our plate that must be done in order for our lives to keep moving forward. Here is the real picture, a part of marriage is repetition. Things that happen over and over again are not a bad thing, this monotony can bring a sense of security to a safe place that you call home however on the other end of tedium is where roman...

I used to think that my husband could not handle confrontational emotional conversations. When we would have serious disagreements he seem to retreat internally and offer shallow explanations of how he was feeling. What I found is that my approach to these conflicts was affecting his ability to safely communicate his displeasure with me. In a relationship, you will have disagreements, miscommunica...

This episode is dedicated to a good man Ramces Noel or as he was known to me and many others, Mr. Noel. Mr. Noel, I will miss you and your bright warm smile that the angels in heaven get to enjoy now. I realized that being a good man is often taken for granted but what you have shown me and taught me through your life is that greatness is easy but to be good is difficult and takes intentionality a...

The first time my husband and I had sex it was surreal. I enjoyed connecting with the person I loved on a deeper physical level. However, the morning after I couldn't help but feel guilty and confused. My mom left education about sex up to the church and the message I received was that sex is for men, my body is not my own and my job is to bring pleasure to my husband, that sex is a sin, your desi...

I used to think that I was a stoic person who often had my emotions under control. I felt that emotions only got in the way of accomplishment and success. For a while, this mindset worked for me and helped me to get through difficult moments but as I began to mature and as my relationship with junior began to deepen I came to find out that my lack of access to my emotions was negatively affecting...

Are you thinking of getting married but fear that you may not be successful because you didnt have a good example? Maybe you had no example at all, a negative one, or you saw marriage but it wasn't a healthy marriage. If you want to build a marriage and feel that your toolbox is empty or you have the wrong tools it is still possible to be successful in marriage and have a healthy long-lasting rela...

What should I do when the person I love is struggling with their mental health? What happens when the person I have decided to spend the rest of my life with is struggling with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, postpartum depression, eating disorder, or PTSD? Can I still love them if they may not be able to fully love me? If you are in this situation you may have asked yourself some of these...

My husband and I’s in-law story began with a fist fight, a screaming match, and lots of cold shoulders. Our romantic relationship started at the ripe age of 17 so when our families found out we were getting married a year later the reactions were interesting, to say the least. Looking back at the state of those relationships I would have never thought that we would be here 10 years later, a happy...

In the past what came to my mind when I thought of toxic relationships were relationships that involved physical, verbal, sexual, and emotional abuse. Over time and from personal experiences what I have learned is that toxicity comes in many different forms shapes and sizes. The forms of abuse I mentioned before are most certainly examples of toxic relationships but often times we may unknowingly...

When we think of the word negotiation most individuals would think of the court of law or the corporate board room. However, you rarely hear the word negotiation in the context of marriage. Often times when people hear of negotiations in marriage it's too late. The sad reality is that couples don't learn the art of negotiation until they are in divorce court contemptuously divvying their assets an...