Bitch Bible

Jackie is feeling loose after a couple drinks, and plans a bathroom renovation, laments the clothes that got away, and previews Off Brand October. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie is back from Australia, jet-lagged and bitchier than ever. She recounts her unlucky flying history, Real Housewives and why Bermuda shorts are for people who have never been to Bermuda. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie loses sleep over Amy Bradley, gets into a fight with a girl from high school, and recalls how much simpler the early 2000’s were. And of course Melissa Wood Tepperberg’s neck brace. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie recounts a beautiful experience with Clyde feeling unwell, books a flight for Paris, and explains the Princess Treatment, Red Nail Theory, and Soft Goth. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie recaps the sick game Belly is playing in The Summer I Turned Pretty, discusses Clyde’s aspirations to be the next Mikhail Baryshnikov, elaborates on the perfect murder plan, and delights in her guests’ discomfort at her With Hate birthday party. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie sits down with living sculpture John Hill to discuss his sobriety, the most trouble he’s ever been in for something he said on the radio, a shared love of Allison Janney, and John’s additions to the With Hate, Jacqueline list. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

It's Jacqueline Taylor Schimmel-Haas' birthday, and she's been preparing for months her 2025 list of things she hates - some are broad, some are niche, but all of them are felt deeply in her soul. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie gets her sphincter lasered, creates a fake Instagram for her husband, and has the harsh realization that she may never see Cheryl again. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie deals with a biohazard event with her drunken sorority sister Clyde, chastises the internet for its mediocrity and lack of intelligence, and does a very special Ask Me Anything. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie suspects she has been bugged by Scientology after her live show in Clearwater, discusses the real problem with Madi Prewett’s husband, and the traumatic experience of visiting a public splash pad on a weekend. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

How much does Jackie hate the beach? Let her count the ways… Jackie suggests JoJo Siwa is in desperate need of a transformational, spiritual journey to make up for the developmental damage she has accumulated as a former child star, asks Andrew what he loves most about her, and rails against frosted glass doors and the character flaws they harbor. Thanks for Supporting My Sponsors: Cornbread Hemp:...

Jackie recaps the first leg of her Dim the Lights tour, discovers that she is brave and vulnerable, and introduces Clyde to the bright lights of show business. Thanks for supporting my sponsors! Magic Spoon: Get $5 off your next order at  www. MagicSpoon.com/BITCHBIBLE Wayfair: Shop outdoor furniture, grills, lawn games, and way more for way less at  www. Wayfair.com Pique: Get 20% off,...

Jackie deals with her Grammy nomination snub, why some funerals feel like low budge Coachella and delights with some new poetry she penned after a few cocktails of despair. Thanks for supporting my sponsors! Hungryroot: For a limited time get 40% off your first box, plus a free item in every box for life at  www. Hungryroot.com/bitchbible LittleSpoon: Get 30% off your first order at www. Litt...

Jackie is joined by Olympic figure skater Adam Rippon to discuss Chat GPT's lies, waxing mishaps, and Adam's obsession with collecting stone fruit, crystals, and life-size porcelain animals. Thanks for supporting my sponsors! Pique: Get 20% off, plus a free rechargeable frother and glass beaker at www. Piquelife.com/Bible Chime: Open your account in 2 minutes at www.chime.com/JACKIE Hungryroot: &n...

Jackie takes up pickling, shoots up at a child’s birthday party in the park, and goes over her tour packing-list that will almost certainly get Josh searched by the TSA. Thanks for supporting my sponsors! Nutrafol: Get $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you enter the promo code BIBLE at www. Nutrafol.com Homes.com: Everything you need to know about buying a house, all i...

Jackie mourns the death of quiet luxury, heralded by Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez’s childhood-trampoline-park-Chuck-E-Cheese style wedding invitations, grey CVS aisle carpet, and nonsensical guest list. Also, Sydney Sweeney’s collaboration with Basking Robbins - Gummy Bears! Thanks for supporting my sponsors: Pique: Nourish your body the right way. Get 20% off, plus a free rechargeable froth...

Jackie recounts a harrowing experience trying to buy candle pillars for grandma Gloria, has a religious experience with a pink canvas Bottega jacket, and regurgitates the timeless story of backdoor Rhonda. Thanks for supporting my sponsors! Pique: Nourish your body the right way. Get 20% off, plus a free rechargeable frother and glass beaker at Piquelife.com/Bible Addyi: Check out the FDA-approved...

Jackie addresses some public scrutiny from a recent radio appearance, discusses what Labubu represents, talks shit on Andrew for party mix, and reveals her sister's childhood sapphic inclinations. Thanks for supporting my sponsors! Leesa: Get 25% off mattresses, plus get an extra $50 off with promo code BIBLE at www. Leesa.com Cornbread CBD: Use code BITCHBIBLE at checkout to save 30% on your firs...

Jackie makes her highly anticipated (not really) return and attempts to breeze into 2018 with the finesse of a young Grace Kelly. Until she is confronted with a rat mid recording and has to seek shelter, refuge, alcohol and access to basic cable. New year, same bitch.     Thanks for supporting my sponsors! Hero Bread: Use code JACKIE at checkout to get 10% off your order at www...

Jackie is solo parenting this week and explains why Andrew's use of the words "Cozy" and "Chilly" is grounds for divorce. She also gives the single best piece of advice for high-schoolers, points out the consequences of Carrie Underwood turning her back on her gay fans, and makes her stance on Labubu clear. Thanks for supporting my sponsors! Ritual: Don’t settle for less than evidence-based suppor...

Jackie advises JLo and Sydney Sweeney to approach life from a place of 'no', gives her opinion on personalized license plates and Disney adults, and answers (and criticizes) listeners' burning questions. Dim the Lights Tickets: www. TheBitchBible.com/tour Thanks for supporting my sponsors! Hero Bread: Use code JACKIE at checkout to get 10% off your order at www. Hero.co This episode is brought to...

Jackie discusses bearing the burden of other people's stupidity, her new obsession with Dianna Agron's longing for a simple life with früt, and plans her second wedding. Thanks for supporting my sponsors! Cornbread CBD: Use code BITCHBIBLE at checkout to save 30% on your first order at  www. CornbreadHemp.com/BITCHBIBLE Little Spoon: Enter code BIBLE at checkout to get 30% off your first orde...

Jackie discusses her pre-menstrual cycle dreams, announces her (presumably) Sundance and Cannes award-winning live show, and gives updates on the Diddy and Blake Lively cases using her best legal jargon. Thanks for supporting my sponsors! Leesa Mattress: Get 25% off mattresses, plus get an extra $50 off with promo code BIBLE at  www. Leesa.com Addyi: Check out the FDA-approved treatment for c...

Jackie is joined by Hannah Berner to discuss a myriad of things that will ultimately get them the presidential suite whilst burning in the depths of hell. Thanks for supporting my sponsors! Hungryroot: For a limited time get 40% off your first box, plus a free item in every box for life at www. Hungryroot.com/bitchbible Ritual: Get 25% off your first month at www. Ritual.com/BIBLE Little Spoo...

Jackie sits down with Stassi Schroeder to discuss Vanderpump Villa, their purple and yellow auras, Parseltongue, and the foundational principals and texture that can only be learned from the Real Housewives of Orange County. Thanks for supporting my sponsors! Hungryroot : For a limited time use code bitchbible to get 40% off your first box, plus get a free item in every box for life at www. Hungry...