Beyond Your Number

Kelly and Damon wade into the deep end of subtypes starting with the self-preservation (SP) instinct for Types 1, 2, and 3 . You’ll learn how SP shapes motivation (not just behavior): SP One: striving for goodness, future-proofing with order and control, and why it can look like a Six. SP Two: playful, guarded, seeking love and protection and how that can mistype as a Seven. SP Three: “be the best...

Kelly and Damon kick off a brand-new series on Enneagram subtypes,  the instinctual variants that turn 9 core types into 27 flavors. This is the deep end: self-preservation (sp), social (so), and one-to-one/sexual (sx), plus the “three-layer cake” of dominant, secondary, and repressed instincts. In this episode: What sp/so/sx really mean, and how they shape each number’s style The “cake” model: wh...

Kelly and Damon unpack how a Type 9 processes “Be assertive” and why it can feel like a threat to calm rather than an invitation to contribute. Together they map common misreads, offer gentler phrases that work, and give Nines a simple reframe to keep their voice in the room. What’s inside: How “be assertive” can land as “start conflict” (and what to say instead) Gentle prompts that invite a Nine’...

When you tell an Eight “calm down,” they often hear “you’re too much,” “you’re out of control,” or “I’m censoring you.”  In this episode Kelly and Damon unpack why protectors (8s) lead with intensity, why that phrase lands as a threat to autonomy, and how to keep connection without dousing their fire.  Try better scripts like: “I can tell this matters, can you help me understand what’s driving it?...

This week we unpack Enneagram Sevens, the joy-bringers who can feel shut down when they hear, “Can you just be serious?” Kelly explains how that lands as “You’re too much,” “Your joy isn’t welcome,” or “We can’t take you seriously,”. We’ll give you better language that invites focus without killing the vibe: “I love your energy, can we shift gears for a minute? There’s something important I want t...

Damon & Kelly break down how well-meant reassurances land for Enneagram Sixes (The Loyalists). When you say “Don’t worry” or “It’s fine,” a 6 often hears “You’re on your own.” We cover why that triggers alarm (not trust), what it communicates beneath the surface, and the exact, better phrases that build safety, collaboration, and momentum.  What not to say to a 6: “Don’t worry about it.” / “It...

Type Fives value space, clarity, and time to think, so “We need to talk” can sound like “prepare to be emotionally mugged.” In this Lost in Translation episode, Damon and Kelly break down what Fives often hear versus what we mean , and offer practical language that preserves autonomy, protects energy, and gets you the thoughtful input you want. You’ll hear: Why drop-ins and vague invites drain a F...

In this episode of Beyond Your Number , Damon and Kelly unpack how silence, quick responses, or even well-intentioned pauses can land painfully with a Type 4. For Fours, depth, authenticity, and connection are everything and when we don’t respond, they can misinterpret it as rejection, abandonment, or being “too much.” We’ll explore why this happens, share personal stories, and offer practical way...

Threes often hear praise like “you’ve got it all together” as “you’re a fraud.” In this episode, Damon and Kelly unpack how seemingly harmless comments can trigger imposter syndrome for Enneagram 3s, and what to say instead. Learn phrases that affirm a Three’s worth beyond performance, how to set/receive boundaries with care, and simple ways to show appreciation that actually lands. Plus, a few re...

We’re back from break and digging into Type 2 (The Helper) in our Lost in Translation series. What you mean as a simple boundary,“Thanks, I’m good”,can land as rejection to a Two. Damon and Kelly unpack common misinterpretations, offer exact phrases that keep connection and clarity, and share a few “gut triad” confessions about learning to ask for help. What gets “Lost in Translation” for Type 2 W...

We’re dipping back into the archive with a foundation episode on the Triads —Gut (8-9-1), Heart (2-3-4), and Head (5-6-7). Damon and Kelly break down what each triad prioritizes, the core emotion it wrestles with (anger, shame, fear), and how that shapes decision-making, relationships, and self-care. You’ll hear practical prompts (like “What was I angry about today?” for Gut types), why Heart type...

Today we’re revisiting a deep-dive conversation from our Enneagram U days, all about the Harmony Triads. Damon and Kelly unpack this advanced Enneagram teaching, showing how each triad (3-6-9, 2-5-8, and 1-4-7) holds a unique way of experiencing the world through head, heart, and gut. You’ll hear the humor, real-life tangents, and even Damon’s skepticism as Kelly explains why the triads matter, wh...

While we take a short break from our Lost in Translation series, we’re re-releasing one of our most loved episodes: Motivations. In this conversation, Damon and Kelly lay the foundation for understanding the Enneagram by exploring what truly motivates each type. It’s not just what you do that defines your number...it’s why you do it. From the One’s drive to do what’s right, to the Nine’s longing f...

We’re kicking off our new Lost in Translation series, all about how what you say isn’t always what the other person hears.   This week, we focus on Enneagram Type 1 : what they hear, why it happens, and how to speak in a way that builds connection instead of frustration. Learn the hooks that trigger them, better ways to phrase your thoughts, and how curiosity can soften their inner critic. You’ll...

Ever tried to resolve a conflict only to end up in a verbal boxing match? This week, Damon and Kelly wrap up their 4-part conflict series by exploring the critical roles of speaker and listener, and why most of us play both badly . You’ll learn how to: Take turns (like, really take turns) Use “I” statements without sounding cheesy Avoid emotional ambushes and “speaker-in-waiting” mode Create safet...

This episode is the third in our conflict mini-series, if you missed the last two, definitely go back and catch them! Two weeks ago, we walked through six steps for healthy conflict. Last week, we hit the self-sabotage pitfalls that derail it. And this week? We're laying out a step-by-step path for self-regulation, the actual work you can do before the conversation even begins. Whether it&apo...

Last week, we laid out a six-step process for navigating conflict, but let’s be honest, sometimes the real struggle is what happens before the steps even start. In this follow-up episode, Damon and Kelly unpack the emotional landmines that often sabotage our best intentions in conflict. From blame to emotional avoidance, they explore five self-sabotage traps and how each Enneagram type might fall...

Conflict doesn’t have to mean shouting matches or broken relationships. This week on Beyond Your Number, Damon and Kelly dive into a topic that touches every relationship— conflict . They unpack how different Enneagram numbers experience disagreements, why some avoid it while others charge in, and how even small differences in opinion can feel like big battles for certain types. Kelly shares a pra...

We’ve made it to the end of our Enneagram communication series—and it’s Damon’s turn in the hot seat as we talk all things Type 9! In this episode, Damon wrestles with “Nine doubt,” shares why he’s skeptical about gentle communication styles, and admits he might be a secret One. Kelly unpacks what truly drives the Peacemaker’s calm exterior, and why the word “sure” doesn’t always mean agreement. T...

Double-booked calendars, fast-talking optimism, and more ideas than minutes in the day…welcome to the world of the Enneagram 7! In this (slightly turbo) episode of Beyond Your Number , Damon and Kelly explore how Type 7s approach communication, why they’re magnets for new experiencesand how to keep up without getting lost in the whirlwind. Why “yes” is a 7’s favorite word The line between healthy...

What’s it like to talk with a Type 8? Passionate. Direct. Powerful. And sometimes, intense. In this episode, Kelly shares from her own experience as a Type 8—what works, what doesn't, and what eights most need from you in communication. Damon helps us see how that energy can feel to others, especially when it gets misunderstood. Whether you're an Eight, love one, or work with one, this c...

Type Fives are thoughtful, observant, and incredibly insightful—if you give them the space to speak. In this episode, Damon and Kelly unpack how Fives approach communication, why they avoid surface-level conversations, and what it really takes to earn their input and trust. If you’ve ever wondered what’s going on behind a Five’s quiet presence, this one’s for you. In This Episode: Why Type Fives v...

How do you talk with someone who’s always giving, always helping, and always putting others first? In this episode, Damon and Kelly dive into the warm, people-focused world of the Enneagram Two — and why communication with them can feel like a hug, a therapy session, and a pep talk all in one. Whether you are a 2 or love one, this conversation unpacks what motivates them, how to respond to their g...

How does an Enneagram Six communicate? In this episode, Damon and Kelly explore the loyal, thoughtful, and cautious communication style of Sixes — and how trust, safety, and preparation shape their voice. Whether you’re a Type 6 or trying to connect with one, this episode will help you understand what’s behind their questions and what they need to feel secure. In This Episode: The superpower of Si...

How does an Enneagram Type 3 communicate — and what’s really going on beneath the polish? In this episode, Damon and Kelly dive into the world of the driven, adaptable, and image-conscious Three. Discover why communication for a 3 is all about connection, competence, and results… and how to speak their language without assuming they’re just putting on a show. Whether you are a 3, love a 3, or work...